It's Been Almost A Year..

It has been about a year since I have cut myself but not a day goes by when i don't think i about it. I'm proud that i was able to stop. But I also miss it. I still feel just as lost, hurt, angry, sad, and whatever. Everyday i fight a battle with myself to not do it. I miss the feeling of letting go that it gave me.

The adrenaline. The power. The relief. I want it back.

I cut for almost 9 years.

I am covered in scars and probably ruined any chance of ever pursuing the career i wanted to pursue. I knew it at the time but somehow it didnt matter. I just needed the feeling.

Like i need it right now...
agentttorange agentttorange 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 12, 2012

Your Response


It sounds like you could use some guidance in your life to help you work through your emotions, your self-destructive tendencies, and to get yourself on track. If it would help to talk to someone who has survived, add me and respond.

I have my own self-destructive demons, and use pain as a means of dealing with those demons. My approach involves a variety of implements that don't leave scars, though there are bruises more often than not.

I don't have all the answers, but perhaps we can find some ways for you to come to terms with yourself and grow beyond what you are. I managed to do so, maybe my experiences can give you some ideas with which to work.

It's best to find another outlet.

It's great that you don't cut anymore.

It lets the pain on the inside, out.