In My Thirties?

I can't believe at the age of 31 I decided to cut myself again. The first time was at age 16 and I went to get help right away. I guess help only lasted so long. I feel so alone. I feel like I'm not good enough to have the life I want and that no one will ever want me. My grandmother is dieing slowly. My dog that was my only peace died a year ago. My father would never understand. My mother would turn it into her own sob story. My friends would think I'm crazy. I have no one. And the cutting stopped my uncontrollable crying on the ground. Gave me direction. A goal. It was the inside of my leg. I cannot keep anyone around that I care about I push them away before they have a chance to hurt me. I wonder if I will every be happy or if I would be better off dead. I guess God will be the judge of that.
silentauction101 silentauction101
31-35, F
Sep 17, 2012