A Beginning Without An End

So here I am. Writing something I never thought I would. I guess I dont even care if people bother to read this or not, but at least I can see what I've become.

I have only been cutting for a month. I never thought Id be that person. I had no respect for 'cutters', people who left their pain displayed so openly on their skin. After I started though, I realized I didnt really care how people felt. In fact, sometimes Im glad the marks scared them away, those people that just didnt understand. I look at myself in the mirror and I can tell that this will be something I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

It all started with a exacto knife I got for Christmas. I was working one night and the idiot guy I have a crush on was ignoring me, so I scratched at my wrist. Little did I know I would wake up with faint marks on my wrist the next morning. It looked so obvious... so I did more. When I finished it looked like I had caught my hand in a bush or something. For the next week I told myself with every cut it became more believable. Then I moved on to my shoulders.

People started to see. I wanted to talk about it all the time. They weren't even deep.

Now Im 5 weeks in. Not long, I know. Now I dont want to talk about it. Every single one draws blood. Everybody seems to know and they all want to know why.

You know what the scariest part is? I dont know the answer to their question.
ForgottenPain ForgottenPain
18-21, F
Jan 15, 2013