My Story

My ex boyfriend and i dicided to brake up because we are to young and immature to date (we both just turned 13) well we both agreed we still have feelings for each other and when the right time comes we'll get back together well the other night one of my friends told me that he said he thought about suicided when we broke up and that he wasn't sure if he still loved me that he had been having the unusual numb feelings well i felt soo bad i cryed myself to sleep i woke up about 2 am took the saftey pin off my night stand and i i repeatedly draged it across my wrist hard and slowley and on my chest i went back to sleep i woke up this morning thinking it was just a dream i looked at my wrists and my chest  and yeah the deep scratches were there but they don't hurt and i understand that numb feeling i now feel as if i can't feel anything well this morning after i looked at the cutts i have been having an urge to do it again and i did and didn't feel anything i have only cut myself twice before this experence and i should be feeling horrible but i don't i feel numb.
wnbwja6 wnbwja6
18-21, F
2 Responses Jun 13, 2007

this is an AMAZING story, really, it's great that you can share something like this. i'm 15 years old, and i've been cutting on and off for five years now... i knwo that's not too good. but it makes me feel better i guess... and i knwo what you mean about feeling numb, i feel numb almost every day of my life. sometimes i think about how great it is to feel that way, and sometimes i realize how terrible it is. becuase the cutting just isn't enough for me to feel sometimes... it's scarry. i'm workign on quitting, and i have friends who i've helped through it. if you ever need someone to talk to, i'm here. message me sometime.

I know exactly what you are going through.... i just turned 14 and i feel numb like i cant feel anything no matter what it was so i cut myself to actually feel somthing....i was cutting like every other day and now i just do it like once a month. I guess you get bad then you get a lil better and i guess over time, u get completly better. I still feel numb though. what made me do it is because my mom went to jail and they called me and said she was talking about suicide and I didnt feel sad, mad , or even happy (i love my mom by the way) so i just took apart a razor and cut my wrists and my legs and my abdomn. ( i know bad right....) but ive got so many scars and when people ask what happend, (which i hear atleast one time a day) i dont even know what to say. I guess i regret doing it. but the scars remind me that the past is real... If i could go back in time, i dont think i would have done the same things...Now what i do when i feel numb is get a rubber band and put it on my wrist and pop it until i feel somthing... and if that dosnt work, i get an ice cube and squeeze it in my hand as hard as i can until it hurts and i promise you, u'll feel somthing... Please message me, i think i could maybe help you. When i was going through the same thing i would have done anything to have someone that understood me....and i do, because ive been through the same things......<br />
Love, <br />
Kassi