I hear people say all the time that they think someone else is so cute, or handsome, or sexy, or pretty, or built like a god/goddess, and of course I think that over my lifetime I have learned that we can not judge other human beings on looks alone. Yes I do believe I love people, especially women by who they are first, then notice their looks appeal to me too. Interesting, no?
Well, it is one thing to just make such a claim and it is another thing to really being doing it, and further, when you are doing it, being able to explain it to others. I am going to try to make a start on those issues here.
On line it very often happens that we get to meet and talk to people without actually seeing them. In fact, I can get to know them a lot better than it is claimed this medium allows. Regardless of how quickly it happens though, I can know someone for months and really love them as people, as women, as mothers---whatever they are. So by the time I do see them in a pic I already hold them in such high regard, maybe even love them, that when I see them, they look better than they would have if I had just seen a pic of them. The pic is lifeless unless we know the person in the picture.
But when we know who they are, the impression of them we have makes us see their “looks” as really attractive.
If you see a pic of Meryl Streep, you may say she is attractive, but once you see her in a couple of her movies, you get to realize that she is a very special woman, and then her as really attractive. So her abilities, and her powerful personality makes a better statement for her than perhaps her chin or her nose, for example. When they had a tribute to her, every guy women lust over, went up to the mike, and said they’d do anything to sleep with her!
So with those examples in mind, I really think that when we approach someone, anything they are doing makes their picture come to life. I mean we see “them” beyond their looks, and their looks strike us as part of their whole person. We know there is a lot more to them, and so we know that on first sight we form a very quick impression of who they are and what they are like, and we decide to try to get to know them better or to stay away from them.
In fact, there is a great book on how quickly we come to “know” another human being. It is called “blink” by Malcom Gladwell. It starts by simply saying we see a “slice” of another human being in a “blink.” If you are genuinely interested in know how we do that, I mean come to know someone so quickly, I strongly suggest you read at least the first chapter of that book.
I hope this experience profile has helped others to really figure out how we can love someone for far more than their “looks.” Thank you so much for reading.
Dancewithme2 Dancewithme2
56-60, M
1 Response Aug 22, 2014

I loved that book!! This was an awesome read too!! Physical looks are at best purely subjective and let's face it we are all just one tragic accident, skin condition or disease away from losing whatever looks we have so it is far better to have more going for us then just a nice face or rocking bod! The soul of a person can be amazing yet housed in a very humble lil form.... It pays to look for a good soul rather then just seeking out eye candy!!

You have got it sierra!