Step Back While I Blow Your Mind

I see you looking at me. Uh-huh! That's right. I have my 'taco meat' showing from my un-buttoned shirt. You love it ladies, don't kid yourself. You admire my herringbone gold chain...pimpin' before pimpin' was pimpin. See that bulge? It is your fantasy: tube socks.

I say to the bartender: "Let me get the sexiest drink you got! Let me get an appletini" I posted up with my drink, but not quite my two-step. I need my song to come on, then I will tear up that dance floor and make three, maybe even four women swoon over my sweet moves.

Oh. Hell. No. That is my jam! Nothing gets bodies moving like some Jethro Tull. The sound of the flute gets ladies all saucy and gets me all pork-choppy. Yeah baby!

I see you girl and I walk straight up to you and I say: " Damn girl! You got some *** on you...can I thud my hands upon your rear whilst we boogie to this jam?" You slapped me. But you know you want this.  I thought so! Ladies can not resist charm such as this. Take a lesson gentlemen.

The music is loud and we are sweaty. Oh yeah, I said sweaty. Good thing I am sporting my Old Spice tonight. Keeps me fresh as summer rain. You smell my aroma and allow it to engulf the nose hairs. Sexy eh? Nose hairs and *** thudding. I got game and here is a notepad for you, free of charge. Take notes on this groove and style. Watch as I close the deal...

I ask if you want to blow this pizza joint and the reply was, quite as a matter of factually: "Hell no".

Hmm...I examine closely what went wrong. I had my tube socks, taco meet, herringbone chain and Old Spice. Could it be? NO! My style has be elapsed by time. Did it ever work? I suppose not...

Good thing I still have my sic moves. My pelvis is like gravity. My arms flail as if independent from my body. Eyes meet and it's over. You shall be mine. The moves shall over-take you and any will you had shall succumb to my ego.

For, I do, indeed, dance like I own the joint. Now, if you'll excuse me: I need to go towel off. Maybe you should too...


EricS EricS
36-40, M
35 Responses Dec 19, 2008

I have anything in life; I think of my groove owning you all.

We had pork chops for dinner last night. I thought of you.

I do. <br />
<br />
And the groove of the rest of the female population. <br />
<br />
I am omnipresent as it pertains to groove.

You still own my groove.

Thanks! I do try to attain a laugh now and then. =)

Lol, you crack me up. Great story.

We've been waiting for your return, Groove King.

Part two of this story is coming soon. <br />
<br />
Taco meat is going back to the club.

I had to come back and read my own story, then comment. <br />
<br />
This was funny, if I do say so myself. =)

It does. My groove never relinquishes the ownership.

Here I am 2 days later, not even through my first cup of coffee, and your groove still owns me.

My groove thanks you.

My groove says: I own you all.

The part where you did the classic overbite dance...that was GAME! Woot!

My groove is going to be upset.

You should apologize to my groove.

Never mistake my groove for being a nutcase.

My groove is the owner of the joint.

arrrr.. grrooovy babby... (tryin to imitate Austin Powers but i totally suck)..<br />
<br />
Love love love your story!!! Now i guess i gots to go out again tonight.. you've gotten me all hyped up. wers my Bud?? cold, the way i like it.

KF: Do not be scared of the groove. <br />
<br />
NDEP: Groove is impervious to sweat.

Damn boy you are the Groovemister!!!<br />
Here Eric, take my G&T it's glowing under the black light and it'll light up those beads of sweat on your forehead.

Eric...i'm worried about you lol<br />
if i wasn't going to bed right now, i'd seriously think about trying to talk you into some sort of support group for your strangeness....oh

Hard to read? Only because my groove owns you.

"I can groove."<br />
<br />
Indeed you can....

I can groove.

Oooh I nearly died from laughing when I read your story. TWICE! You own this joint, my man! ROFL!

EricS<br />
You really GOT YOUR GROOVE ON with this!<br />
Great post.

You did not run for the exit to flee. <br />
You ran outside to tell the world about my groove. <br />
Feel my dance.

My groove is a present for all the ladies. <br />
<br />
Blessed you all are to be allowed to gaze upon my groove.

I think you left your Members Only jacket<br />
in the back seat of my car.

You are a victim of my groove thing. <br />
No one can withstand this.

Tube socks. Herringbone chains. Jethro Tull (Oh, I love Aqualung) Saucy, pork choppy. Sweat and nose hairs. Ohhhhhhh Baby! Dance with me, NOW!

I got this ladies. <br />
My groove is omnipresent. <br />
You can't run. <br />
You can't hide.


I have your wine cooler...I have a wine cooler. See? Preparedness is paramount. <br />
When you are done with that towel make sure it is placed in its appropriate hamper. <br />
Nothing says groove like proper maintenance.