I Used to Date Older Men.
I feel compelled to edit this story, because several people have written in ob
For a while in my early twenties, I found myself strangely drawn to men who were substantially older than I was. When I was 21, I began dating someone who was 38; one year later, I found myself with a 43-year-old. Both of these relationships came shortly after I lost my father. When I was 24, again I found myself with an older man, this time 36.
Looking back, I know I was aware of why I was with these men at the time that we dated. They all were there to replace my father in one form or another, to give me some kind of stability where I had lost it, to give me guidance, to love me ... I soon came to realize that these dynamics were troublesome and that these relationships -- despite the wisdom that I'd acquired from the first one, and taken into the second one -- wouldn't work for me. I recognized long after the fact what it entailed to date and build what is supposed to be a lifelong commitment with someone who's got two decades of experience on you, but the signs were there in their demonstrations of intractability and what was basically inconsideration of me because of my young age (how ironic).