Only Outside Of My Race

I do not consider myself to be a racist person by any means. Picky, yes. Racist, no. I should start out by saying that I am half-Japanese and half-Korean. That being said, I do not date Asian men. I only date white (older) men as a personal preference. I just don't find Asian men to be very attractive. This is unfortunate since I have known many very nice, respectable Asian gentlemen who would have done anything to make me happy and I couldn't bring myself to date them.

I wrote a paper in college on love maps. My professor was a 70-something, white female who still uses the term "negro" and calls locations by their old world names. Anyhow, I met with her after she read my first draft and was quite surprised that in my personal love map I had included the fact that I am not attracted to Asian men. She then tried to pick my brain about this for 30 minutes and tried to see if I would consider meeting this "lovely Filipino young man" in her Speech class (I politely declined). In her mind, it made no sense at all how I was not attracted to men of my own race, but it made perfect sense to me. She said. "But I'm sure there are plenty of fine Asian men out there who are not being given a fair opportunity if you're going to dismiss them just by their looks." I replied, "Yes, but how fair would it be for me to overlook the physical aspect and only date them for personalities when they could have someone who is attracted to both their personalities and their looks?"

All I've got to say is, you don't get to choose who you love, so don't even try to force it if it's not real. You simply have to do what you know is right. And for me, that's not dating Asian men (as shallow as that might be).
grobiegirl12 grobiegirl12
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 15, 2013

Aisan girls are so hot :)
And the cutiest ever

In all honesty, I think we should get to the place where we are not confined by the color of our skin or our racial background. For so long, (and even still today) there are expectations about whom we should marry in terms of within our own racial make up. I am finding that some of those expectations are dying out, but there is still an overwhelming group that hold to that expectation. I think you should look at the person's personality, and not their racial background.

In my own life, I tend to be attracted more so to caucasian women, asian women, and some Latino. I am a black male, but I find women of other nationaities and background more attractive. It doesn't mean I have never found a black women attractive, but I tend to be attracted to others more so. I think it boils down to preference. If you prefer a certain look or personality, then it is fine. You are only racist if you look down on others or your own race, in hatred or bias. Otherwise, as long as you treat others kindly and harbor no ill intent, it isn't racially based. I embrace interracial dating/marriage, because it shows two people can come together despite differences in their racial make up. I would love to date interracially again and even marry a woman outside of my race. Whether it happens or not, I don't know. But if it does, I will do so and not worry about what others think, and that includes family.