I met my ex boyfriend 10 months ago on an online dating site. We talked for two months and only met each other a few times in those couple months. I remember he revealed to me on our third date that he had gone through an abusive past relationship and that he and his ex had suffered a molar pregnancy.
I felt bad for him. He told me she cheated on him and treated him badly. And that he had finally left her because she was too mean and abusive. I remember the crazy stories he told me how she had hit him in the face with a boombox and attempted to stab him. Now i can see why.
He moved quick. Told me he loved me after only seeing me in person a few times. Gaining my trust and making me think he was the greatest man in the world.
Three months later after a great date with him i wake up to his phone repeatedly vibrating. It was his ex. I read the messages. Saying she was going to kill him and his family that he had stolen from her family and cheated on me with her. I picked up one of the calls. She didn't say a word and i hung up. I left and intended to never see him again
He woke up and called me saying she was crazy and said those things to get me to leave him. I was naive. He was so manipulative and charming i believed him. He then claimed he blocked her number and so we stayed together.
He was horrific after that. I realized he was an alcoholic. He knew my weaknesses. I have an anxiety disorder. I remember he would constantly put me on edge about my health i would have repeated panic attacks because of him. I believe this is the time he started slandering me to people he works with. Telling them i'm crazy and abusive. the same things he said about his ex. He managed to turn his "friend" that i knew he was only using to drive him around and for a free place to stay ( he had no license) completely against me and would often say his friend advised him to leave me but he truly "loved me" all the while slandering his friend to me.
He managed to do some triangulation with his ex girlfriend and a girl he works with and me. He would talk incessantly about the ex to make me jealous and insecure he then would talk about me to the girl he knew had a crush on him at work. He actually got me and the girl from work in the same room at a party together in which he publicly berated me in front of everyone he worked with for no reason. He then proceeded to smash my 300 dollar phone with a hammer while his friend held me back. It was sick and absolutely disgusting and to this day i can't believe i apologized and asked for him back.
After this things really went downhill. I started finding random texts from the ex. He would try to "gaslight" and tell me things and then deny having said them. At this point he was downright abusive. He would get in my face and punch things. I ended up physically abusing him by punching him when he got in my face. I am a good person but that man brought out a monster in me. however he would always claim he loved me and wanted a child with me and marriage. it was sick.
One night while driving home he grabbed the steering wheel and swerved into oncoming traffic on the highway. He did not even flinch. He just sat there with the most lifeless look i had ever seen. He had the classic "predatory stare" it freaked me out.
He was devaluing me. The final discard came when we were out with my friends. I believe He planned it well in advance. He was highly intoxicated. excusing himself every five minutes to go to the bathroom where i assume he was throwing up. Then out of nowhere he makes a huge scene. starts punching things and screaming at my friends. i say goodbye to them and we go to the car. He continues screaming and yelling at me. And begins stabbing himself with a pencil and breaking skin. He then tells me he will "tell the police that i stabbed him" he demands i drive him to a friends house so i do. i stop the car and he jumps out grabs my phone and runs away. I call from a family members phone begging for my phone back. He mocks me and threatens to slit my throat.I check the call logs and see he made calls to family and to his ex girlfriend. The next day i went looking for him at his work. They tell me he never showed up.
Five days pass. I get a new phone expecting to never hear from him again. But no, maybe one hour after activating my service i get a text telling me he will send me the phone. He then goes on to tell me how he didn't come back to get back with me he wanted to apologize. He then has the nerve to call me from his ex girlfriends cellphone which i did not answer and to this day he swears up and down that it was her calling me.
I told him i was dating someone else and of course he starts hoovering. I flat out tell him i want to be reimbursed for the phone and he starts getting nasty telling me to "get over it". I never saw that money again. He blocked me on facebook. I did get ahold of him over the phone and basically he and his friend sat and mocked me while i yelled at him. It makes me so sick. I can't believe i allowed myself to be treated this way. What's worse is that he never even said sorry or showed any remorse for his actions. He just up and walked away. He now says his ex girlfriend is pregnant but swears up and down that it is not his child and that he never touched her. I'm so sick. I can not even fathom that someone could be as evil as him. I feel like the life has been sucked out of me. He will never see justice and it disgusts me. I don't know what to do anymore.
lauren212193 lauren212193
22-25, F
6 Responses Aug 16, 2014

your story sounds so similar to mine almost as if he were the same person. An alcoholic who had no license and also grabbed mu steering wheel to pull out into traffic and a lot of things that are exactly the same.....

My x boyfriend told me his x wife used to hit him too, but never really gave details, never really told me how things went from great to bad. He also did the whole triangulation thing constant comparing me with his exes, too bad I am not jealous at all and I was just curious. He would be very hot and cold, sometimes would be super loving and then just back away and made me feel like I was a burden. He overdid it with the favors he did for me, and eventually I accepted and thought he would always be there for me and trusted him and that's when he decided to leave.

yeah similar stuff happened to me. :( sad most stories are similar.

Your experience rings so true to me, I got involved online with a psychopath and I can relate to you. I didn't understand what he was until a couple weeks ago and i'm still searching about the subject. My point is, I have friends, had other boyfriends and never any of them made me act so desperate, online stalkerish, angsty and insane. I believe psychopath are really good at finding what makes you "tick" if you know what I mean and use it against you. I realised that every crazy act I ever did or every bad thought that would consume me, actually came down to an internal fear or trauma that he knew exactly how to exploit. I believe yours was the same.But I think that what is important is to use it as a learning tool, because otherwise you let the psychopath win in his quest to destroy you. Now I have a better idea of my weakness and how someone can use them against me. I hate to admit it but I know myself 100x better now and I hope one day you'll feel the same.

I totally understand what you went through ...

Did the idea to get help never occur?

i did end up getting help but it was after the fact unfortunately. I was so brainwashed by him.