I Married My Sociopath

After reading some of the stories of others, I really wanted to share mine. I married my sociopath. We met in college. He was going to the church I had gone to for years. He wasn't at all what I thought I wanted in a man, but he seemed to love me. He made me feel like anything was possible. We both had issues from our pasts and we wanted to help each other through them. Or so he said. He played guitar and sang. I just fell in love. Looking back, I'm not sure why. He turned everything around to being my fault. He ignored me and made me feel like I wasn't important. He had a severe **** addiction, and both of us felt that it was cheating. But he made it MY fault that he looked at ****. It was my fault that he lied to me about smoking. It was my fault that he cheated. It was my fault when we fought about anything. In the first few years I believed it.

We were married 1 yr after we met. I was 20 yrs old. The first time he left me was about 2 yrs after we married. He started to make a pattern of it really. All in all, I think he left me 5 times.

The second time he left me was less of a shock than the first. My heart was sad, but not broken like that time. I didn't beg him to come home like I did then. But I did want him to stay. We were still living together in the same apartment. We had finally started to be friendly with each other when, for no real reason, he threatened to strangle me. It started because I asked him to put the window down before he went to bed... It made no sense and I was scared. So, I decided to check his room to see if he was on drugs or something. I found a "journal entry" (that's what he called it anyway). In it he not only described what he called the perfect murder, but drew out his murder weapons. Now, he believes to this day that it was normal. The police, prosecutor, and judge didn't. I ended up putting him in the state mental hospital for 2 weeks. When he knew he was getting out, he got me to take him back. Everyone told me not to. It was stupid of me. But I loved him. And I wanted to believe that God could keep us together.

I'm going to skip ahead. Over the next few years he would leave off and on. 2 yrs ago he left me again. He actually used a girl that he worked with. He got her to fall for him and then had sex with her and used her for drugs just so I wouldn't take him back. But me, being me, I took him back anyway. Turns out he just came back because he wanted to quit his job and stay home and play video games.

I found out that he had be poisoning me. He felt I never cleaned enough. I have fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, hypothyroidism, migraines... I have a TERRIBLE time working and maintaining my home. He wasn't working. He still felt I should be cleaning. So, he poisoned me with my cleaning supplies. I got so sick that I had to quit working. (Of course, I didn't know then that he was poisoning me) Then I had to start taking money from my parents to pay our bills.

Staying home with him everyday was hell. He either ignored me or yelled at me. I never did enough. Everything would somehow start an argument. It got to be too much. When he started saying I'd be better off without him, I agreed for the first time. And I said I wanted a divorce. We still stayed in the same home though. Sleeping in the same bed together. He started to act very violent. He even destroyed his computer. Smashed it.

Things got worse. He told me he wanted to be a serial killer. He wanted to impregnate women and then murder them before they gave birth. He wanted to do it because he believed it would make people see that abortion was murder. And, he wanted to become famous for being a serial killer. He told me that, and I got scared. Then my symptoms of being poisoned started happening more often. But what made me make him leave was that he told someone that he had poisoned the cats that lived under our trailer.

He left here in early September. I haven't talked to him since then. I got a civil protection order against him. But I'm afraid for the people he's around now. He found a very nice girl to take him in. He used my accusing him of poisoning me as a pick up line and it worked. He's known her 4 months and he's already living off of her. He quit his job just like I knew he would and she's paying his bills. He bought her a ring and she thinks they will be together forever. He's so good at what he does.

If anyone on here lives in Parkersburg, WV or Marietta, Ohio, message me and I'll give you his name. WATCH OUT FOR HIM. He is very dangerous.

All these years I had wanted a baby. Now I know, if I had gotten pregnant, he would have killed me. I thank God now for not answering my prayers with a yes...
marriedtoborderline marriedtoborderline
22-25, F
2 Responses Jan 5, 2013

It seems hard for most people to believe this stuff... I believe. There is a very good book out there that I recommend reading. Its about $15. Its called "The Sociopath Next Door". Author Phd Martha Stout. It explains it all. She also says that 4% of us are a sociopath. I can believe it. I think its worse than that even. Read my story. I divorced one.

Oh my God... just oh my god... I have been trying to get my freind to break up with this sociopathic guy, but now that I've seen how bad they can become, im going to crack down on it.. You deserved so much better..