Trying To Figure It All Out And Why

I was cruising around the web looking for articles on how to get over dating a sociopath and came across this website and figured I will give it a try. How do you ever trust yourself or try to have a relationship once you have been thru the wringer with a true sociopath? I no longer trust myself or my instincts on being able to see a person for what they truly are. I now look at people wondering what dirty little secrets they are hiding. My ex sure had the dirty little secrets and they all came out of the woodwork. I was his joke. I look back on it now and can see that things were not right, and I spend a lot of my time wondering what he saw in me that attracted him to me and if he saw it, will someone else pick up where he left off? I was never afraid of people before I discovered his secrets and now I am. i have nightmares now and hope they will go away in time.
lostandwandering41 lostandwandering41
41-45, F
7 Responses Jan 14, 2013

I'm sorry here is the link to the book via amazon. Good luck

I to was in ur shoes I want to share an awesome book that has really helped me sort it all out I recommend the big it will answer all your questions. Good luck I'm here if u wanna talk Tara

I feel the same. I have been trying to grow more confident so that whatever weakness that he was attracted to will never attract someone like him again. It is so hard to believe anyone after someone that you shared so much with just lies and lies and lies to you.

I am no longer in the relationship. We weren't together for just a few months, we were together for 9 yrs. After our break up I saw him for what he really is. When I asked him about all the lies he told me, he said it was no big deal and he did nothing wrong.

from a personal experience i realized that its not about what they see in's more about how you can benefit them one way or the other. Once they get bored (which usually happens within 1-2 months into a relationship) they move onto somebody else. They have very low self esteem and inability to be honest hence why they would never come forward and tell you that they are simply done with you....if you continue on with the relationship, trust me, it's only because you want it.

Fiona, I think you are very brave to enter the dating world again. I am such a chicken even thinking about it brings me to tears. I know I will get thru this, I am very stubborn and not going to give up or let him destroy the best part of me.

Sociopath was a new word for me last year.

I was married for 3 weeks to one, after a few months of blissful intense relationship. I have spent the past many months examining how it all happened much like you. A good friend of mine asked me how I let it happen. She said if I didn't see him for what he was then how could she ever really trust anyone because I am typically so aware of underlying things. I do not usually trust so easily. I must have been distracted by his 2 kids.

In the end, a year later, I have gotten on with my life. I am thankful that I was not in deeper than I was or lost my home, my job, or my friends. I was able to slip back into my life easily though cautiously. I resumed my activities as if nothing had happened and pressed onward. I stayed busy, that was defintely the key for me.

I believe now that he was a user, he saw in my a reliable steady woman able to do what it takes to create and maintain a life. He saw that I loved his kids and they loved me. He saw good things in me that he took advantage of. He is a liar, a terrible person & father, lazy, an alcoholic and he would have only been able to hide those things for so long. I was already suspicious and second guessing our life together. I am so glad that he ran back to his ex (not the kids mother).

I got my life back. Lesson learned, I am definitely more aware as I am entering the dating game...ugh. lol

OMG this sounds very much like my ex. I'm wondering if it's the same person. Mine is in Israel.

Not the same but there are plenty around.