Dating A Drug Dealer

Rewind many months ago, to this night...

From the life of dating a drug dealer boy, things like this happen. A lot. He walks in with dark sunglasses that conveniently hide his coked out eyes. Words are slightly slurred, and he immediately proceeds to begin chugging his personal supply of beer cans...while every so often snorting lines he really doesn't need at this point.

Finally, he notices im there! "Oh gee, where'd you come from?
...You look really pretty. Who'd you go on a date with earlier?"

[5 excruciating minutes later] "So really, who'd you go on a date with? You're dressed to the nines with your booty shorts on....''
[Um, really, just jean shorts, my hair straightened, and a long sleeve shirt, but okay, 'dressed to the nines,' sure buddy.]

He proceeds to constantly look around to find used condoms, because he is now convinced I am sleeping with other guys, and have gone on a date before he came 9 pm! Remind me again, in what world exactly does a date end that early, sweetheart?

At this point, I ask his coked out *** to leave, and go hang out with other coke heads. He proceeds to turn this into my opportunity to sneak my 'boyfriend' in.

I'm literally dying of laughter at this point. He thinks im laughing at him. I am, but he thinks I'm laughing because he's sick, and so he says I'm "not being proper or respectful", and I'm treating him like "some guy" and a "punk". 

Um no, honey, I'm treating you like a crackhead that i want out of my house! But thanks for being so respectful, yourself, and politely refusing to leave!!! [I smile extremely sarcastically at him.]
I keep laughing, because now I'm not supposed to, and I can't help it when he's trying to be serious, but is so damn out of it!!!
Then he looks at me and musters his remaining coherence to say, "Why do you think you're so hot? Just wait till i get better."
"Oh, okay buddy boy, threaten me all you want with your 'wheels'!"
"What??? I'm not threatening you!!"

Jealousy proceeds to infiltrate his muddled mind, when he hears me say some guy is a 'smokeshow' on the phone to my best friend. My best friend is using said 'smokeshow' to make her ex jealous [and I’m only on the phone with her at this point, to distract myself from the painfully stupid scene playing out at my house].

Drug dealer boy has been attempting to follow along with the conversation, and due to his attention seeking nature, he can't stop himself from expertly pointing out what a loser her ex was…

Mr. Delusional also subtly explains that nobody can compare to his self-appointed greatness. I politely nod my head in agreement, and smile the way most psychiatrists must smile at their patients when they tell them some long winded story about their imaginary friend sitting next to them....

And, literally 5 minutes after everything he says, there seems to be no recollection of the content. Needless to say, it was entertainment at its best.

Too bad it was MY life.
wildf1ower wildf1ower
26-30, F
7 Responses Sep 12, 2012

Try ten years of that life.... then get blamed for the end of a twenty year relarionship with you r " soul mate" ... welcome to my world. Then get told that its your FAULT so many times that you start to believe it.

they always need someone to blame, because if they actually looked in the mirror, they'd realize it's been them all along that's the problem, not us!

Damn what a crazy situation. Good that he is out of your life though - lets hope permanently.

How come the best ladies always wind up with the biggest ********?

guess you gotta kiss a frog before you find your prince!

there is insecurity within every human being, and getting trapped in a bad relationship can happen to ANYONE...good, bad, small, tall. i didn't realize what i was getting myself into, until it was too late. as they say, 'when you know better, you do better.' well, i know better now, and i won't allow myself to get into a toxic relationship ever again...all you can do is learn and improve.

being an 8 year recovering addict myself I find this really funny it took me years to hear all the **** I used to pull crackheads are not bad people they are usually just disfunctional kids that are medicating whatever pain they dont want to deal with but being with them while they are in their addiction is not good for you or them you should date guys that are worthy before the ones that arent screw up your take on men

Damn girl dat ****'s off the chain!! You are too cool, I love the way you played his monkey ***! Hit me up if you ever want a horny little,19 yo, lez to rape or??? Anytime sweet lover...i'm here...xxxooo

Bahaha.. this is great! "Dressed to the 9's" -- what the **** is that anyway? It's like, "ok, Malibu's Most Wanted, take your skeevy *** on back to the crack rock of which you crawled out from under." There are few things more pathetic on this earth than a damn cokehead.. I should know, this sounds a lot like me when I was 18. So, I'm sorry that you (and any girl that I talked to when I was 18) had to experience that first hand. A couple of years ago, my cousin had been dating her highschool boyfriend again, after shortly getting out of an abusive marriage to an Iraq vet. Anyway, he was big in highschool.. I mean husky as ****. Now, at the age of 28, all of a sudden he was my size. His explanation for this, to her and her (my) family was due to his 'acid reflux'.. when my mother tells me this one day on our way to Atlanta to visit them, I'm like, um.. I'll call bullshit. So, we get to my cousins new house that she just bought and had let his *** move into, and we have Christmas with everyone, except he's at work at a bar. As the night get's later all 'the parents' go back to my aunt and uncle's and the rest of us stay there. About midnight comes and he comes crawling in (I say 'crawling' because actual people walk.. junkies crawl, like parasites) and as soon as I look at him, I can now officially proclaim bullshit. Acid reflux my ***.. are you out of your damn mind? The Eric Clapton song comes to mind, *she don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie... cocaine!* Dude, are you ******** me? Last time I saw you, you were Eric ******* Cartmen, only with manners.. now you're a cynical skinny white little Bobby Brown, exept no one here is scared of you. Those black, hollow and bleak sunken in eyes. I tell my aunt a couple of days later that he's full of ****, that Mr. Twitch had walked in looking like Charlie Sheen after a long weekend. She shook her head and refused to believe me. "We've known him since he was a kid" she said. Ok. Flash-forward a few months. I'm at my apartment when my cousin calls me. She informs me that she had kicked him out of her house a couple of weeks earlier after he had gotten a DUI. My cousin doesn't **** around. The week after she kicks him out, he was playing golf with his father when he collapses. They fly a chopper in.. all that good ****. No one in his family knew he did drugs. The doctor askes my cousin and his family if he did drugs, to which they tell him that he has never done drugs in his life. "well" says the doctor, "there has to be some explanation as to why the boy is missing half of his brain.. my cousin calls around to his best friends and they all deny knowing of any drug habit or problem. Finally one calls back and says, "I'm sorry, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't tell you, he's been doing coke every day for 2 years. Not only that.. but they found out, via the doctor at the hospital, that Mr. Coke Dealer of his, had been cutting his coke with morta mix!

wow, why are these sad stories so entertaining to listen to, yet so devastating to live through?

Because after it's said and done with, all we can do is laugh. It's just a natural defense mechanism for us to use when faced with people and situations so outragiously ridiculous. It's human nature. Otherwise we can or will become bitter, resentful and cynical to everything. And then we let others get the best of us. When they're not worth it to begin with. I did drugs for years, now I'm an addiction counselor. You can get good from the bad. You just have to look past the bad first. You may not see anything particulaly significant that's good to take away from your experience.. but, at least you know a real shithead when you see one.

And if you remove yourself from the situation.. everything thinks a crackhead is funny.

wow, an addiction counsellor. well, that's really coming full circle, now isn't it? what an awesome job! to be able to help people. i'd love to become a counsellor of sorts. i think it'd just be so rewarding. and you're right about recognizing a loser; i feel like i'm a ******* expert at it now lol.

thank you, darling. yeah, you mentioned delusional.. it's now that I'm able to see how delusional I used to be. after two years being sober, I am still learning things about myself.. how I was high and who I really am, which I never really got to know before hand, so, it's crazy. but you're right, it is really rewarding helping other people. and another great part about it is that while, or by helping other people, at the same time you benefit from it in more ways than you even expected. it's a fabulous kind of satisfying. haha.

i believe that. i really hope i work hard enough to end up as a counsellor, cause i really think it's my calling. i just feel so much, you know? and how you said that you benefit from it too...i really believe that. i'd become a better person through it, all the time, as i'm sure you have.

I'm sure you'd be great at it, you seem very open and intelligent. and yeah, it really helps you grow.. and you learn about people and life constantly. helps give you a much deeper and broader understanding of things.

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