First Day Of Dealing With Deployment To Afghanistan

Hey everybody-

I just said my final goodbye to my boyfriend of 7 months. He is on his second tour overseas, this time to Afghanistan. I'm really nervous since this is the first time he has ever been deployed since him and I are together. We have had our entire relationship long distance. I am 21 and finishing my nursing degree in Virginia, he's 25 and was stationed in Oceanside, California (Camp Pendleton). I am just very nervous and have a lot of anxiety. We had a lot of fighting and arguing before he left and it only started to get better a few days before he left. I also feel very unnerved because I told him that I loved him and he blatantly said he did not love me back. He used to be married for two years and was seperated for one, and finally divorced this past November. However, I stayed with him through the brunt end of the divorce and he used to be extremely emotionala n sensitive, then just completely disconnected from me. I am afraid that he will not realize that we do have a good thing and I have sacrificed a lot by flying out there as much as possible in the 7 months of our relationship. I have flown out there 4 times stayed around a totl of 2.5 months and he flew to VA once for my birthday. I just feel like I need security or something to help. I certainly do not want to waste my time on someone who doesn't love me and want a life later on. He is just very topsy-turvy and says one thing but acts another. Is this normal? Does he really mean that he has no plans for our future? I don't want to bother him about this stuff, but I just find myself being worked up about every detail. I'm just so scared I don't know what to do! Please help me out guys!



Runin4rmfate Runin4rmfate
26-30, F
4 Responses Mar 11, 2010

He is gone for a year and sadly enough he had cheated on me. So I am over it and have no desire for him to ever be apart of my life again. Sounds harsh, but it is the truth.

awww my man left about a week before yours.. hes in afghanistan now too. also stationed @ camp pendleton. it's a really tough time.. and i read your other posts but after reading this i was gonna say.. it seemed like he wasnt fully healed from his ex. but stick with him cause 7 months out there makes them realize **** they didnt know about.. they have so much time to think.

He's gone for a year, read my other posts more has happened.

wow!! that's quite alot to go through and not know if it's a sure thing.I personally don't think it's normal. I think either he was wanting to start a tiff before he left to make u worry more or he could be nervous himself or he could be using the rollercoaster feelings thing to hid guilt from something. my point being it coulld be anything. I know its going to be painful with him gone, but I think you've been together long enough that he either feels something or doesn't. no matter what he says. I think he does care about you and is just frustrated about leaving. how long is he gone for? if it's going to be as long as your relationship or longer, it could play into his 'tude. my advice is don't take offense to it and just wait till he contacts you. you always have us to talk to about how you feel. I've only been on here for a week, but I know that support is all around you, you just have 2 look. =) love and prayers. ~V~