I Thought Until I Found The Truth....

I had an experience of focusing all my attention on my consciousness. This is the closest group that I found that I think describes what I was doing. Maybe someone will understand or at least help me explain what happened...

I was watching a movie and was not paying attention; I got lost in my thoughts. I had been thinking about how we can divert attention away from our conscious thoughts and immerse ourselves in something else (like a movie). I decided to only think about my thoughts and as I focused more and more attention on my thoughts and my ability to think, I suddenly heard my own voice in my head telling me that I could connect with the part of me that knew everything. Everything about everything. I had a physical reaction then... my heart started pounding and my breathing quickened and my muscles started twitching. I had my eyes open but I could not see anything I was so into my thoughts. I was debating about going to learn everything because I understood it as "going" somewhere even though it might not have been. The presence of my all-knowing self was overwhelming. I eventually calmed myself down and stopped focusing so hard because I was scared. I had to promise that I would come back though. I promised that I would one day release myself into complete consciousness. It was hard to let go... when I finally did my leg muscles and arm muscles were twitching like crazy. For the next 30 minutes or so I kept slipping back into thinking about my thoughts or wondering about something and the feeling of knowing everything would happen just a little bit and I would focus all my thoughts onto not thinking about it. It was really hard to not think about something, but I let myself get immersed in watching the movie and then driving.

Yeah, weird story... any ideas?

supersnail105 supersnail105
18-21, F
Feb 17, 2010