Deflections: Part 1. Life Experiences.


Events happen to all of us. We are in every event that happens and every event that happens is in us, the rest of our lives. It is the way we react to these events, how we deflect off the major events, the heartbreaks, the loss of those that we love, the births of our children, job losses, divorces, etc. that make us who we are. To most, these deflections are completely random and unrelated in their minds, to what they become. They hardly notice how they have changed from big events in their lives. But the impact of small events goes completely unnoticed. They charge through life, through each event that happens, and never see that how they react to each event shapes the very core of who they are. A few finally realize that they can choose how they react to each event and thus shape not only who they are, but who they can become. And a very few learn that how they feel towards others is who they are. The feelings that beam back from another that we have touched reflect our very souls, who we are, what we are, our values, our self-worth.

I love life with a passion. I eat too much, lust too often. I'm overweight. An overachiever, a borderline workaholic, a borderline patriot, and a lover of mankind (even children). After living abroad for the last two and half years, I have to amend "the borderline patriot" evaluation. I am a raving mad yankie - I love what we have in this country, and I am always amazed since my return of how little we appreciate what we have accomplished in so little time - but, we will get to that later. That is not to say that we do not have serious problems both at home and abroad....but I digress.

Most of all, I am a dreamer. A lover of what could be. A lover of the best in me and you. I am willing to ignore the bad, until it hurts too much, either me or someone I love. I believe if I can see the good in you and me, and focus on it .. we can make it grow. A dreamer, I remind you. I want to believe we are evolving toward a more caring, wiser world, but, I'm not sure. I want to make a difference. I somehow want to make the world a better place to live. As I get older this becomes more important than becoming rich, scoring with a beautiful woman, or even winning a tennis match. I want to be respected by my peers, loved by my children and wife and well-balanced.

If you are still reading this, perhaps, we are not so different. This is my first venture into the work of art, of literature. I've had little, or taken little opportunity to enjoy the arts, or even discover the arts. My life has been about running from poverty. Not my poverty, but the poverty of my parents. I went to college, studied hard and did well. I've chased a career since then - not knowing I caught it several times only to let it go. Now, I'm fixing to do what I think I should do - write this book.

Our lives are full of modern problems, which are not so different than problems man has always had except they come at us faster. I will write about these in the last section of this book. But, I believe most of the shortfall in these areas come from a simple reason: we have severe shortfalls as humans and no real guide-posts on how to get any better.

I'm convinced that life offers us all we need to develop a moral code that will work today. The point is very simple. We have all been provided with opportunities to learn "a" right answer to all of these problems. To at least be smart enough to know what defines the basic principles of a free, self-determined life. And even more basic problems like how do you become happy or at least peaceful. You only need two things to learn how to live life: a love for the truth and a love for life. The rest is provided for us. But where do we acquire these two traits? Not to be smart, but from a commitment to keep it real (the truth) and to find that which is of value around us. It is mindset you choose or you don’t.

How do you find a love for the truth? If you are logical you will realize that there is nothing but the truth. Anything but the truth is a lie - it is not real. It does not exist. If you make it up, if someone else makes it up, it’s only real if it accidentally matches the truth. Some people spend their entire lives in a made up world. Happily? not often I think. Why, because real life constantly clashes with their world. It’s out of harmony. That's not to say the truth is not painful. But without it there is absolutely no foundation to stand on. One has to take this on faith in the being and embrace truth, wherever they can find it, to begin the journey to becoming happier and well adjusted people.

If you love to argue, more than likely, you are not yet really looking for the truth. You are trying to convince yourself and others that you have some small corner on the truth. But the real search for the truth, I'm convinced, comes much more quietly between two people that understand that it is precious and not so easily found. So do some soul searching and see if you can start each day with a mind that is a little more open. If you feel some disquiet in yourself, you are probably harboring two or more ideas that are not in harmony...because one or more of the ideas is untrue. More later. A few words about loving life. It follows after you learn to love the truth.

Deflections the concept: To learn to love life, or to solve any of these problems, we must first understand how rich most of our lives are. Every moment you are alive is leading to the next deflection in your life. How you deflect off the next big event in your life depends strongly on what you have managed to learn from your past deflections, the spin you have put on your own life. Where you end up in your life, especially inside your head where it really counts, depends on what spin your attitudes give you as you make contact with your next big deflection (image a pool table).

I believe the most important thing to improving yourself is to have a clear image in your mind of who you want to be. When you come to your next deflection, the challenge is to respond to it in a way that the person you want to be would respond. If so, you will deflect off the incident in a direction that will change, will improve your life. If you meet the deflection with no clue of who you want to be, you will proceed straight through the deflection and your life will repeat the same patterns and get the same results you've been getting. Try deflecting off the next question someone raises with the truth. Keep it brief and to the point. Saying, "I don't know" is allowed.

Once you have your own life in control, you will run into other deflections that let you help those around you. Then, perhaps, we can get enough energy in our everyday lives to solve some of the problems we are facing in this modern world. I don't expect you to understand what I'm saying up to this point, but, you should feel what I'm saying by now.

I've pulled examples from my life and others to demonstrate my philosophy of life. I believe my philosophy of life is somewhat unique and very constructive. Perhaps, you can understand what is here, improve on it, and help take all of us to the next level. You'll find that some of what you read will border on the mystical, maybe, even religious depending on your orientation. But, we will get to the force later.

The following are a few of the deflections I've had in my life. My goal is to somehow apply what life has taught me to the problems we face -- first inside ourselves and then those in this country. The first part of the this book is about those lessons- my life experiences. The second part is about preparing for those deflections that come in everyone's life. And the last third is about applying the lessons from my deflections to the problems that our society should face and solve.

Finally, if you believe that human life -- and all life -- has value, then meaning for our lives can be found in preserving and increasing that value.
rroe rroe
61-65, M
May 15, 2012