Delete Stories?

If you get so frustrated about the Experience Project because of other people's viewpoints or the direction your story leads the discussion, that it causes you to delete your story, you need to delete your Experience Project account affective immediately.  You are involved in a community.  You post your stories and you have to release it.  People are meant to read your stories and comment.  You cannot control people.  If you feel challenged or if you do not want to have a philosophical discussion which can come from your stories, state it at the end of your story.  If you cannot handle the comments which are not insulting or driven by hatred, than stop posting your stories and leave the site.  Seriously, how immature to have a temper tantrum and delete your story.  If you do not want to read other people comments, don't read them.  You do not have to be like an angry child and delete it.  If you want to just post stories without comments of other people, you can probably find a place like wordpress.org.  They never leave comments on your blogs.  You can post away. 

Give me a break with the deleting of the stories. 

BluOmni BluOmni
31-35, F
14 Responses Feb 15, 2010

Asevan.... that's no fun.

Asevan.... wow you wrote a lot. I have to break it down a little because you brought up so many topics in one cluster such as1) "people can do as they will" which I already addressed and 2) how well can you know someone and define their personality based on written posts, also 3) the philosophical falacy of debate regarding trying to personally attack someone by pointing out what you feel about a person's personality instead of sticking to the philosophical topic being discussed, and 4) this nonsense that I'm trying to make anyone do anything. This is a philosophical discussion about should's and should not and also about society really and how its rules carry over to the Internet or the problem that it sometimes does not which leads to huge amounts of problems. <br />
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We'll start with this one: <br />
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You wrote:<br />
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"Users can delete comments they don't like. They can delete purposely insulting comments. They can delete comments that are intended for discussion or debate. They can delete comments that are completely innocuous. THEY CAN DELETE COMMENTS FOR WHATEVER REASON THEY PLEASE, SO THEY CAN USE THIS WEBSITE IN A WAY THAT MAKES THEM HAPPIEST. It doesn't matter if it's "unfair" to anyone else -- remember that old saying, "Life isn't fair?" Neither is EP."<br />
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and<br />
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"*I* advocate that people do what makes them *HAPPIEST*. Is that selfish?! Is it selfish that people do what makes them feel *better*? I believe that people who are *upset* because people delete their stories are the *selfish* ones -- they're more interested in getting what THEY want than being concerned with the comfort and happiness of the person who WROTE the story."<br />
_____________________<br />
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My reply:<br />
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No sh**. You think? Again this is a philosophical discussion. This discussion has expanded beyond just deleting comments and stories at whim. People get really happy sometimes when they kill each other, rape, and burglarize so using your contention that people should do what makes them happy no matter what condones all these behaviors. Do you really believe people should just go ahead and do whatever they want? Come on. Dangerous thinking. <br />
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My contention is that societal rules of "do no harm" should carry over to the Internet. The reality is that it doesn't a lot of the time because people are generally selfish and want gratification and do not know how to look at others with empathy or even consider that there are people interacting with them on the Internet. Selfishness and issues involving personal gratification at all costs are two of the biggest causes of most if not all society ills. Why in the world would any intelligent human being advocate for that?<br />
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Like I wrote before when people break the "do no harm" rule no matter what level or where they are, the cause is selfishness and a lack of empathy toward the people they are harming. Do you think there is another cause for this behavior? People who have issues in the real world but follow grudgingly societal rules in the real world tend to bust out on the Internet. I feel this is not positive and people should reach for a higher way of being. Do you believe in anarchy? A lot of what you wrote tells me that you are advocate for anarchy. <br />
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Your first post about me personally is rather comical. You cannot know anyone based on a few Internet posts. Also you cannot gauge another person's emotional content over an Internet post either unless a person quotes: "I am angry" or "I am happy." Impressions about another person's feelings or their personality based on what they wrote on the Internet are usually erroneous. You seem to have a lot of questions about how I can come up with this or that based on what you wrote.... well here is a new's flash, I do not base what I write only upon what you have written. When I use the word "You" in the other posts when referring to concepts, I am usually referring to the collective "You" which can also be replaced with "a person" or "people." It isn't a personal reference when referring to concepts. <br />
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__________________________________<br />
<br />
You wrote:<br />
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"You CANNOT FORCE people to be that way, and it makes me *SICK* when people like you try to."<br />
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and<br />
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"It doesn't matter if it's "unfair" to anyone else -- remember that old saying, "Life isn't fair?" Neither is EP."<br />
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_______________________<br />
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I reply:<br />
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I'm not trying to make anyone do anything. This is a philosophical discussion. Take some pepto or some mylanta. <br />
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Life is unfair? I don't think it is. Everything that happens and everything is the way it is for a reason. It is always fair. But what it seems you are saying is that there should be anarchy, people should do what makes the happiest even if they kill, rape, burgalarize or otherwise hurt other people in any way. It seems what matters to you based on what you wrote is that people should do and really do whatever makes them happy no matter what. Is that correct?<br />
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I don't believe in anarchy. I believe that social rules are important as well as morality and codes of ethics, etc. Anarchy is fundamentally poison for any society real or electronic. That is why even EP has rules that people must follow or their accounts will be deleted. Do you believe these rules and others should not exist? Are rule makers, the leaders of certain real or eletronic communities are selfish for expecting certain modes of conduct that are conducive to the health and viability of communities? From what you wrote, it sounds like you think those leaders are and that anarchy should reign and people should just do whatever makes them happy even if people get hurt. <br />
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Also from what you are writing to me, it sounds like you also believe that people who point out that it is wrong to hurt people and that societal rules should also apply to the Internet are the ones being selish, How is that? So the person who is hurt by another person's actions whether it is because they were disregarded or because they were physically assaulted are selfish because they spoke up and defended themselves plus pointed out that it is wrong to hurt other people?<br />
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Well... that simply does not make sense to me but it makes sense to me that people who have your way of thinking (something in me thinks you are completely playing around by saying such silly things) tend to not think about other people when acting and that A lot of these types of individuals end up in prison. I don't want to be associated with that crowd. Why would you want to be associated with that type of crowd with this erroneous anarchist fr<x>ame of mind? <br />
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Asevan... do you realize that the latest post before this one was directed at Alernate Source. are you Alternate Source too?<br />
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________________________________<br />
<br />
You wrote:<br />
<br />
"I believe it's wrong for you to dictate how others handle their stories on EP, or how they otherwise choose to interact, no matter HOW "right" *YOU* think you are."<br />
<br />
__________________________<br />
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I reply:<br />
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Ummmm... believing that there should not be anarchy, that societal rules and codes of ethics, morals should transfer to the Internet and that people should be treated with empathy and that people should act in a non-selfish manner is WRONG? Wow... Thinking and believing that those things are wrong is a twisted brand of logic that will get a lot of people in trouble and will land a lot of people in prison and/or otherwise lead to a non-successful life. <br />
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Why in the world would you choose to believe in anarchy? <br />
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I can't dictate anything to anyone...... but I believe EP has dictated certain modes of behavior that are conducive to the health and viability of this community.... are they wrong too?<br />
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I can debate and I can and you agree because by your logic people including I can do whatever it is that makes me happy, right? So in a way you support me as well as oppose me.

Alternate Source......Where did I insult anyone? Please quote exactly what I wrote... not your impressions and show me what is an insult to you. I don't feel passive agressive... I have beliefs.. I admit that I am an idealist. People will always have differing views. That is what makes discussion so colorful and fun. I don't expect all people to agree...I just want all people to put their two cents and THINK! Operative word is "THINK". <br />
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A good discussion involves pointing out what makes you think a certain way about what a person has written... You wrote: "It seems to me that you have misunderstood the entire thing.." <br />
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My response: Pray tell what you mean because I feel like I understand a lot about "the entire thing" if you are meaning the story deletion process. My contention is that it is mostly a selfish act only when it involves the deletion of thoughtful comments from other people as well. Cynical people also tend to do selfish acts. Some people realize this and come people are not conscious of their actions and how they can be construed as selfish. <br />
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People who are not conscious about their actions can only become conscious of their actions if someone tells them how they felt as a result of their actions. People then become conscious. People who continue to do things that affect other people and continue to be selfish will do what they will. I don't accept that. People should think about the karma they are creating when doing selfish things. It is easy to be selfish on the Internet on formats like The Experience Project. Also my contention is that selfish people who step on others should go elsewhere if they can't play nice. wordpress.org is perfect for these peope and others who just want a web diary and do not necessarily want to interact with others. My contention is the selfish people tend to also be cynical. They do what they want when they want. Again people like these who do what they will no matter what and who delete at whim no matter what should be encouraged to go to wordpress.org to create a free blog/web diary. Then they won't step on other people who are trying to help or comment on what they write when they delete at whim. <br />
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Do you think being told that you are selfish if you step on other people and do not care about their feelings is an insult? Is that what you are on about? Well... what is selfish behavior? People who only care about themselves, who step on other people no matter what, who only care about their own feelings and do not even see the interaction that is taking place are selfish. This is fact. It isn't an insult at all. Perhaps the sting comes from the truth when someone puts a mirror up and the other person is faced with what their actions are causing (in this case, the action is selfish) Some people can be full time selfish, part time selfish, or they can be selfish only on the Internet where it is easy to be that way because it doesn't feel like the same social rules that exist outside in the real world also apply to the Internet world and social networking sites. I believe they do and they should.<br />
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I understand that people mostly who have commented on here may or may not be conscious about the fact that deleting stories and also associated, thoughtful comments from other people could be seen and experienced negatively by the people who have spent their precious time writing in response to their stories. I understand that these people may or may not care that their actions are hurting other people. That is not entirely clear because they are stuck on the "how dare you tell me what to do" part. I am not telling you what to do. I just think people who have a "who cares"-"who gives a damn what you think or feel" and "I can do whatever I want" attitude probably were not parented correctly and still have some growing up to do emotionally and socially. It is dangerous to be that way. <br />
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I understand that some people feel that people should do whatever they want, when they want to no matter what. I understand that people who agree and who are like this feel that the people who are hurt because they were stepped on and who were the recepients on their selfish acts should just keep their mouth shut. I understand that people feel that it is good to delete stories when people have started making comments that are abusive or crazy. (I don't understand why they just don't delete the comments). I understand. <br />
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Again my contention is that being selfish and hurting people and not caring are not ideal states to be in nor is it healthy or mature. I also understand that people do not think they are being selfish for deleting their stories but again this is not being conscious of what they are doing and maybe disregarding the fact they are deletng other people's comments that they spent their precious time writing for you the writer... a stranger. So the problem is: "not being conscious." The problem is not: "the person standing up for themselves or pointing out that it is a selfish act."<br />
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Do you think it is okay to be selfish and hurt other people no matter what because you can? If so, who needs to take another look at themselves?<br />
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Obviously people who disagree with my contentions (stated here in summary) are people who advocate for being selfish, cynical and doing whatever they want whenever they want and others be damned which is an unhealthy, uninsightful, non-ideal, immature, and destructive way to be hands down. So I insulted everyone who disagrees with me? How? Because I pointed out that selfish actions hurt other people and it shouldn't happen? Ok... that makes sense.. I do believe that people who think like me (not advocating for selfishness and recogizing that your actions affect other people so tred with caution) everything would be a lot better.. All crime ever committed and other hurtful things done against the people of the world is the result of pure SELFISHNESS where the criminal and the bad doer just have no insight about what they are doing and also absolutely no empathy for the victim. How could the world not improve if people stopped being selfish? <br />
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We are living in a world full of people. We have to learn to get along and the people who do not care and who do what they want when they want no matter who they step on need to grow up and get conscious. Plain and simple. If people refuse to get along with others and continue to step on them no matter what and even laughing while they do it, those people need to go somewhere where there are not too many people, maybe all by themselves so they can sit in their selfish doo-doo until they learn something. I am not only talking about deleting stories at a whim. It is a pattern of behavior and a pattern of action. <br />
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Are you advocating for selfishness and being cynical and hurting people and stepping on them, not caring who it affects and then practically laughing because those people who are against selfishness said anything to stand up for themselves? MMmm.....if so (I hope it isn't so), then perhaps it is you and others who think the same way who should take a good hard look at themselves and their actions. <br />
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So what have I misunderstood exactly? I am all ears (or eyes as the case may be....LOL). Wow. it is late.. Crap...<br />
<br />
Please enlighten me.

I am left with the impression that you aspire to a utopian world view, <br />
and if only everyone did as you suggested, everything would be fine.<br />
<br />
I disagree.<br />
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I see that you have insulted most everyone who disagrees with you, all the while you have denied any intent to insult. This is called "passive-aggressive" behavior. I'll suggest you have another look at yourself before you cast any more put downs at people who you don't even understand.<br />
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That is the main point I will attempt to make here, It seems to me that you have misunderstood the entire thing, yet that hasn't stopped you from deciding what is right or wrong...

Aseven.....It has nothing to do with having a thick skin or thin skin.. (whereever that came from) that's fine.. people have different perspectives and people will do what they want. I have heard it all before. There are two reactions to take: 1) Give up and move on (a cynic's way) or 2) Hold people accountable and demand and expect better, positive behavior (an idealist's way). <br />
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People who give up and move on do not say a word when other people are being stomped on. In the real world, they are the observers of the fight who look on in a kind of detached cool reserve unable to be empathically linked or feeling toward the one who is being attacked. A cynic could care a **** less. Perhaps a cynic also is more concerned with themselves and having fun no matter what and do not care what other people think. Out of control. A cynic does not expect much more from humanity. They feel the victim somehow deserved it and probably provoked it. a cynic will look at the bully as being (whatever) and probably an example of humanity at its worse but hey, you can't expect much more.... "we are talking about people anyway and they will do what they are going to do." And then they laugh and go home after seeing the end of the fight when someone is passed out black and blue and bloody or the cops come or if someone dies and the bully runs off to avoid capture. <br />
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The idealist (I am one ...for better or worse) do not like being stomped on or seeing others stomped on. If they see negative behavior, they tend to advocate against it. In the real world, when they see a fight in the street unlike the cynic they are empathically linked to the weaker one being stomped on. Each blow is felt. They are the ones who tend to get in the way of the fight to try to stop it. They can't stand by and just watch detached. these are also the ones who tend to help out in emergencies for example when someone falls to the ground with a heart attack or they call the police when they see crime happening. They tend to be your social advocates or political advocates. They are the heros of society. They simply fight for the little guy. <br />
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I don't know what you think sounds better... but a cynic's behavior looks to me as being the cause of many of the world's problems. So who in their right mind would nurture a cynic's behavior in themselves or in others by not speaking out? Perhaps the cynic is someone who has been the weaker one all their life. Bullied. Stomped on. Disregarded. No idealist around at those times to help them... to speak out no matter how small the issue might seem to be. <br />
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Anyway why am I telling you all of this? I can either mention that I was floored and hurt by what happened and do not believe the behavior that causes "hurt" be accepted as just what happens or some other cynical view. I tried being cynical and it just doesn't fit. I always go back to my default which is idealism. Love us or hate us, can you imagine what the world would be like if no one ever did a damn thing ever when **** goes down? God, I wouldn't want to be there. <br />
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So I refuse to accept behavior like that. People need to grow up and think about others. Plain and simple. Yes I know that people are going to be immature and behave like children who haven't been taught correctly by their parents but that doesn't mean I should stand idly by and take that crap from anyone, any time, or any place. That's just how I am. <br />
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So if **** goes down then I am probably going to be the one standing up for what's right.... (shrugs) ;o)

KittenHasaWhip.... abusive comments that are blatantly hurtful and insulting should be given different treatment to those that are just discussion or challenging. Insulting and challenging are two separate phenomenon. They are not related. But since the person has some brain damage due to meth abuse, I am less surprised by her comments and then the final act of deleting. People with issues should be given special treatment or special consideration...or at least, a kind of understanding. I had no idea. If I had, I probably wouldn't have taken the time to make the kind of comments I was making. I should have noticed the signs that the person was a little off but I didn't. Live and learn...

lalaninjacakes..... I hear you. I agree. I think people who would rather not have comments should use the private button on their blogs when writing a story. That is perfect. Also if comments are not wanted or feared than wordpress.org is perfect as well. There are many tools. I just think that people should think before deleting because they delete people's comments. And those people put a lot of time in writing those comments. Some people also archive their comments because they felt inspired with ideas etc. People should understand that it is an act of caring to comment on stories and to try to help or to challenge or otherwise help you to learn something. It is a selfless act because the people who comment to help in some way don't get anything back besides how usually the comments stay there where they were written. And if they can't even allow that to happen, they should not be on this site.

squid4you.... when someone deletes a story here, it also automatically deletes other people's thoughful comments. Does another person have the right to delete someone else's comments? That is what I find distasteful more than anything. People comment on the stories and out of respect and Internet etiquet that shouldn't be taken lately and deleted at whim. Yeah yeah I know other people have a right to do what ever they want and that's why teenagers put graffitti on the walls, and skip class... that's why crazy people beat and or kill others... they can do what ever they want right? regardless of the people involved right? I don't think so. Unfortunately there are people in the world and a lot of them gather on the Internet (I'm not talking about you) who care very little about ettiquette (however you freakin' spell it) and respect and logic etc. I'm very clear about that. That doesn't make it right does it? LOL! <br />
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There are people on here who care about the time people take to comment on their stories and to read them. Those people should be respected and thanked for taking their precious time away from their life to spend commenting on the stories they read on here written by strangers. If that is disrespected than one should think really hard about what the hell they are doing on a site where the whole idea is to write stories and share them... as well as gather input from others. I personally think people who toss things away like should not be a part of a community. They are just looking for an online diary... so go somewhere else. That's what I think. <br />
<br />
wordpress.org is a perfect place because no one on there ever comment on people's blogs ever.

I delete mine because sometimes writing it out is just enough, I don't always need comments.<br />
Or...<br />
I fear it will cause drama, which I don't want.

AlternateSource... I didn't read your original story. I think if there is name calling going on that is immature and abusive. Calling someone's immature actions as immature is not an insult. It is an observation. People do things for a lot of different reasons. Yes... like a stubborn child you and everyone else can stomp their feet and say: Just because the big bad lady says I have to get used to it doesn't mean I have to!" (Stomp stomp... grumble grumble) And also you can say: Your rules are just your rules. It doesn't mean I have to follow them." (Stomp stomp.. grumble grumble). And then the circular thing goes around and around. And Tra la la... it gets old. <br />
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If you are talking about my finding out that the person who has been immature and bipolar on here, she declared herself an ex meth user on EP. And thus everything was explained to me thus I was able to understand her actions as an uncontrolable part of having brug enduced brain damage. I was able to find pity and sympathize. People who have brain damage tend to do things that are immature when angry etc. That is why I wrote that when I typed that someone was being immature it was an observation because the actions were impulsive and thus childish. But everything is cool now. thanks for your concern.

Sounds like someone needs a hug! Can't we all just get along :) It seems to me that if or when someone wants to delete a comment, edit, blog, ignor, continue on, or just allow something said to take on it's own life and or direction that we, reguardless of our joy, distain, pleasure or disapionment then so be it... To me when another writes they have the rite to do with it what they wish. Why should we condem others for thinking differently as we exploring and sharing to expand our minds, emotions as we define who we our and chose to become...

It isn't logical to spell out what has happened so you can put it down.<br />
None of the things you refer to are associated with my deletion <br />
(I'm commenting here because I founded this group)<br />
I explained in my original story why I deleted my stuff, <br />
so to explain it here is redundant.<br />
There were no spiritually enlightening comments in the 1200 that I deleted with the spelling thread. Just a lot of circular name calling -as in: the name calling went round and round and round, kind of like this: Idiot!, Nazi!, Fool!, Nazi! like that for 1200 comments. I found the whole thing embarrassing. You keep using the word, "immature" to describe the act. That is insulting, surely you realize that, right? <br />
You have set up your rules for us to abide, <br />
but what if we think those rules are..."immature". <br />
Then what of your rules? If/then statements are computer logic, not human logic. When you apply things like that to humans it's called opinion. And yours is different from mine, not necessarily any truer than mine. I don't have to get used to anything, especially if you say I do...<br />
And finally, I believe very little I hear from strangers on that internet thing you speak so poorly of, <br />
so why would I take your word for anything?

Well I have my answer about a certain person. She was an Ex meth user. Explains everything. I have a viewpoint that it is a sign of weakness and of immaturity to delete a story to punish another person for their insightful and thoughtful comments which also gave spiritual insights. Challenging comments. Delete your stories for YOU, not to punish someone else. It is immature to delete stories to punish other people. I was referring to those people, and not people who just want to delete just to delete. People who write stories on EP or anywhere have to get used to the idea that people are going to comment on them. If they can't handle the comments, don't right stories. And if you aren't going to write stories, might as well delete your account. <br />
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That simple. Just my viewpoint. People rarely follow logic on the Internet, why would EP be any different? I know. Believe me, I know.

Is that a directive? Delete my account?<br />
What if I learned from my first group of stories <br />
and my second set is better from the experience?<br />
You cast a bunch of disparaging remarks there...<br />
I wonder, did you read the original spellcheck flamewar?<br />
It was deletable...and nobody cried at the loss<br />
I deleted all of my stories, <br />
as opposed to just deleting the ones I didn't like.<br />
And as a final word, they gave me a delete button so I could use it, <br />
not so you could forbid me from using it.<br />
<br />
No brakes, head for a tree...