Come On, Guys. You Can Do Better.I have just finished having a conversation with a local friend of mine which ended on a rather unpleasant note after he began making crass comments and calling them "jokes". At first, I explained to him that those types of comments may be common place among other males but around women, they shouldn't be spoken at all, especially if the woman happens to also behave herself like a lady.
Still, he wasn't very quick to admit that yes, he'd crossed a line that he shouldn't have. He explained his comment as having been intended to be less "sexual" and more of a means of his expressing to me that he's proud of me for doing what he considers to be "real work". I let it go at that only because had I continued on in the conversation, I might not have spoken to him again for quite some time.
So can someone please tell me what it is about men these days that when they encounter a woman that is actually respectable, they either consciously or subconsciously attempt to knock her down a few notches with their words? For instance, I have girlfriends who answer to the name "hooker". Such as, "Hey hooker! What's up!?" Now I can't speak for other women but personally, I've never been a hooker a day in my life and I've never answered to such a label, nor do I plan to. In fact, I don't even think actual hookers should answer to such a word and it isn't because I don't understand the "humor" dynamic behind it. I get it. I just don't find it acceptable.
And men.. why, oh why must you look for any and every opportunity to slip in some sort of sexual innuendo into random conversations with your female friends or women you're interested in? Honestly, don't you realize that almost every other guy is throwing the same kind of nonsense at her and if she's the type of girl that plays along with you, she's also the type of girl that's playing along with all of the other guys dropping thinly veiled sexual hints in her direction? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize this and yet when they encounter a decent woman who expresses that she'd prefer not to hear it, men actually defend their "joking" even when it clearly offends the woman they're "joking" with.
Online, it can be even worse than in person though. Men online seem to think that since they can't be slapped in the face or publicly humiliated by a woman who refuses to be treated like a tramp, that they have free reign to just say whatever offensive nonsense comes to their minds. It's honestly depressing, because unfortunately, I realize that the only difference between the online version of men and the offline version is the anonymity. At the end of the day, they're all the same guy. (Typically, speaking anyway. Thank God there are plenty of exceptions to this general rule. If you're one of them, please, please never change.)
It's so unfortunate that women (and men) these days feel that in order to not be perceived as prudish or boring, they have to accept being adressed as though they are less worthy of being treated with respect and dignity than they actually are. If you have boundaries, you're accused of having no sense of humor because the person making offensive, rude, crass or explicit remarks will rarely ever admit that they in fact are the ones that are out of line so they instead justify their own poor taste by calling it "humor".
Just be a gentleman, guys. A true gentleman.
Is that really too much to ask for?
Intelligently 31-35, F 9 Responses 9 Jul 11, 2012