Depressed About My Baby Getting Older--how To Cope With It

Hello. I am a 38 year old married man and a father of a 20 month old boy. I'm a stay at home dad and I adore my son. I've generally been a happy person most of my life, always looking forward to things ahead. I've battled anxiety and even agoraphobia recently, yet have still managed to stay positive and hopeful. But for the past 8 days I've fallen into a deep, deep depression like never before. I've been depressed before when a girlfriend broke up with me, but if she were to make up with me I would have been instantly happy again. This is WAY different. It seems nothing can make the depression go away that quickly. The focus of my sadness is the immense struggles I am having accepting that my young boy won't be a baby/toddler forever. I'm literally in tears right now as I just wrote that and thought about it. I want to stop time so badly and have this moment last forever but I know I can't. I don't think my 22 year old friends that have kids quite understand just how time flies but I'm not a young dad for a 20 month old, and I'm painfully aware of how things in life whiz by at a fast pace. Also my father, who is 75 and has cancer, is very involved in our lives and I and my son love him. I'm scared of him not being here. It doesn't seem fair. It's extremely frustrating cause I want so badly to enjoy these precious days but I get too depressed to enjoy them. My doctor suggested taking an SSRI like Zoloft. I'm considering it. I was hoping I'd snap out of this and feel good again but nothing is happening and I've completely stopped looking forward to things in life like I have for so many all my life. I don't see anything in the future to look forward to. My dreams of playing pro sports is dead, my boy will be getting older and lose his innocent baby stage, and my dad will pass. How can I possibly be happy again knowing these grim facts?

I would love so much if someone can tell me how best to get through this...perhaps someone that has been through this before and has successfully pulled out of his/her nose dive. I'd be more than grateful if you can help.

God bless,
TylersDad TylersDad
May 18, 2012