Say What You Mean...mean What You Say....

Simple enough.  Say what you mean, mean what you say.  I live by this creed.   Why is this so difficult for so many people?

I can not comprehend the people that are nice to your face then speak horribly about you behind your back.  I abhor how people will come to you and act as though they want to be friends but in truth are just lying through their teeth and have some other motivation.  I see these type of people in my career, at my children's school, and even in social settings. 

My job is political in nature, so by large, there is a large quantity of people who smooze each other but secretly loath one another.  I had someone come up to me recently (we will call her Jane) and verbalize how she is so surprised at the level of work that I do, thereby, I do entirely too much.  She even went as far as to tell me that I should ask "our" boss to give me a new title and more money.  Ironically, in her mind, she thought she had me and that I had bought every item of her sales pitch.  I even went as far to tell her that I truly intended to speak of her suggestions to our boss.  I didn't want her to be blindsided by anything.  I spoke my intentions, I felt I was truthful.

Of course, when speaking to my boss about Jane's suggestions, my boss became livid. Jane is a manager under my boss and felt that Jane's statements were unethical. My boss who is a straight shooter let Jane know how unacceptable and inappropriate her statements were, and it is best if Jane kept her mouth shut.  Jane, now, is quite upset with me and feels betrayed.  I have to question if she is mad that I saw through her plastic crap or if she got caught doing it?  I will never truly know the answer.

At my children's school, it is absolutely appalling at some of the parents and their plasticness.  Parents that behave as though their lives are perfect and their children are absolute geniuses.  When in truth even in you are a stay-at-home mom or a working mother, there never seems to be enough time in the day to get everything done.  It is a constant struggle, I have done both and do not envy either role.  However, instead of the mothers and/or fathers rallying to each other's aid, it becomes this gross plastic competition about whose life is better.  It really is all about appearances, it sickens me.

I learned this so very poignantly the other day when my ex-husband who owes an arrearage of $20,000 in back child support was named "Volunteer of the Year" at my children's school.  Of course, he is volunteer of the year because he is at the school all the time, thereby, not working to pay his child support.  {Yes, I am pursuing Enforcement but the process is painfully slow}.  So for the sake of appearances, my ex-husband seems to be this loving father while all the time not financially supporting his kids.  He is truly plastic, I learned this going through a 3 year divorce and finding out along the way that nothing he appeared to be was what he was actually.

Imagine the world with people who truly meant what they said.  The kiss-***** would have to really know their jobs and the conniving woman in your office would have to make her intentions clear.  The ex-husband would be exposed for what he truly is and not rewarded for playing mind games with his childrens' lives. 

Wouldn't life be just a little bit simplier?

bonobabe bonobabe
31-35, F
1 Response Apr 30, 2007

Agree with you, people put on public performances every day of their lives and are really good at it. Sometimes I have trouble distinguishing the plastics from the real, but a lot of the time you can just tell. My dad used to beat my mum up and everyone who knew him (they didn't know) used to say what a charming nice man he was. I don't hold resentment towards my dad now, we have made our peace, but if those people saw him for what he really was back then they wouldn't think of him so highly. Too many people take others at face value, I try to look a little deeper!