My Inbox Must Be Broken Or Something...

I keep feeling like there are lessons in life that other people have learnt but I haven't. For example: I don't know what clothes are flattering on me; I don't know how to comfort people who are sad or upset; I don't know how to show emotions in public; I don't know how fast you can count a person as a friend, nor do I know how early you can become more personal in your interaction with other people (it takes me a few months to become comfortable around people, but others appear to just have met and still know everything about each other); I don't know how to present myself well at a job interview; I don't know how to go with the flow and stop worrying; I don't know what people do in the evenings (do people actually hang out with other people every night, or are they sitting at home - like me?); I don't know how to meet new people; I don't know how to talk on the phone without sounding like a rambling idiot; I don't know what kind of physical contact is considered acceptable and where the line goes (so I just don't touch people at all); I don't know how to use makeup; I don't know how to enjoy life; I don't know how to make someone know I'm interested in them as more than friends; I don't know how to flirt (it's train wreck); I don't know how to go to bed early.

However, I do know some other things: I know how to write scientific essays and articles; I know how to write a good resumé; I know how to make myself sound interesting online (though I fail to keep up the impression in person...); I know how to read sheet music; I know how to use several programming languages; I know how to conceptualise abstract ideas; I know how to take stunning nature photographs; I know how to figure skate; I know how to judge figure skating; I know how to sing in a choir; I know how to be nice to people; I know how to control my temper; I know how to contain my feelings; I know how to like myself (now); I know how to build a treehouse; I know almost all Friends episodes by heart; I almost always know who did it when watching detective shows; I know the entire lyrics to Always Look on the Bright Side of Life; I know that the only way life will get better is if I make it better.

So I guess I'm not completely hopeless :).
nahald nahald
22-25, F
2 Responses May 3, 2011

Sounds like you're hard working, well educated, and not fickle. I think you have just as many wonderful attributes as the things you find upsetting. Socializing skills come with putting yourself in social settings, and comfortable ones that you feel you can express yourself in. That takes time and experience. And Kudos to your possitive attitude towards at least TRYING. YOU have many other 'gifts' to give, even if "social bugging" doesn't become one of them! :)

English is indeed my second language, which is a great sorrow for me because I love it so much yet I'll never be as good at speaking and writing English as a native speaker. But your kind words are warming, thank you :). I'm sure you have many great talents as well, we all do if we look earnestly enough – a year ago I wouldn't have come up with any at all. You are perfectly right, I need to leave my bubble and meet people. It's just so difficult since I've never been a very social person, and I hardly know where to start. But good things in life shouldn't come easy, should they?! So I had better go out living then :).