Jumped In Quick....not Sure If Jumping Out Just As Quick Is Best.

I am 25 yrs old and have been married for 2 mos now. We dated for 4 mos before getting married. Before we got married life was amazing. He made me breakfast in bed almost everyday, was sweet and loving, made love to me daily, and cleaned the house. Since the day we said I do everything changed. We moved for my job a month ago and it was worse than pulling teeth to get him to look for a job. He insisted on having his name on all accounts so he has credit card access. In the last month, he has decided that a huge flat screen, a PS3 and games are necessary(1000+ dollars). We never even watched TV when we dated. I have never owned one! Now he plays it all the time. My last day off he started before 8am and ended at 10 pm. He rarely cleans. And worst of all he has a temper from only God knows where. He throws things and yells. Sometimes if I am trying to leave or he wants my phone 'accidents' happen. Nothing too bad yet, but it isn't getting better. Just small bruises or bumps from being restrained, pushed and shoved. I am not an angel by any means. I usually fight back with everything I have, but it does me no good. I told him if he lays his hands on me again, I am getting a divorce. I love the man I married, not the one who I am married to now. We don't make love, but once a week. He is so manipulative. I really only want to be married once, but I don't know what to do. It isn't easy to leave, but its not easy to stay either.

If I leave, I can support myself and eventually pay off the debt he has been ringing up. He on the other hand would have to down grade his standard of living quick. I know I cannot get him out of the apartment we live in, but he couldn't afford the rent. (He has bad credit, little income and no education). I don't have family close (1500 miles) so where would I go? Can I make him leave? When I try to leave or mention it he becomes so sorry and loving. I don't want to have to threaten to leave once a week to get him to be nice.

If I stay, I think we will grow to hate each other. How can I make it work? Is there a way to get the man I knew back?

I do not have anyone I can talk to so this helped.
sweetberry14 sweetberry14
22-25, F
1 Response Jul 17, 2010

Ihate to say this but thats what happens when you get married to someone after 4 months of dating. You learn REALLY quick how the person truly is after marriage.<br />
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There is no way to make it work, your future with him will be an extremely abusive one. You need to get out now! Do not waste even another month with that loser.