HeartbrokenMy husband of 9 years came to me a few months ago and told me he loved me but was no longer in love with me. We have a three year old daughter who is absolutely the sunshine in my life. My husband did not want to go through counseling, did not want to work on the marriage, did not want a separation. He wanted a divorce. He told me that he did not cheat and would never do that. Our waiting period for divorce is over this friday. I am completely heartbroken.
My husband and I dated right out of high school and dated for 8 years before getting married. We were each others best friend. We worked well together, we communicated well, our love life was great.
After I had my daughter I did go through the typical blues of being a new mother. Struggling with weight, hormones, just being a new mother. My husband was extremely helpful and attentive to me and our child. He always put us first.
The last few months before my husband came to me to tell me he no longer wanted to be married I had noticed some changes. He had just taken a new job with his company and was very stressed with the new details and just trying to catch on quickly. So he became very snappy and short at home. Towards me and our daughter. We started arguing about trivial things. He started listening to new music. He started hanging out with younger co-workers and drinking very frequently and staying out really late. He stopped wanting to hang out with me and our daughter and would stay out with his friends.
I came to him on several occasions because I felt this distance that was growing between us. I asked him if I had done something to upset him, or to make him mad and he always said no. He stopped having lunch with me during the week because he was so busy with work.
So the past few months have been extremely difficult. I have lost my husband and my very best friend in the world almost instantaneously a few months ago. We have had some good conversations and some not so good conversations, but never once has he said he has made a mistake in wanting a divorce. He actually said that very recently to me. He said that this is a time for "us" to figure out who were are as individuals. I know who I am, but apparently he doesn't know who he is.
But he doesn't think he is going though a mid life crisis...
I am at a complete loss and know that I just have to move on and be a great influence for my daughter that I have most of the time. But it still isn't easy...
lovelost12 31-35, F 4 Responses 0 Jan 22, 2013