Misty Larae.....

I've posted the story of my stillborn daughter elsewhere , here on EP.  One of the things that hurt me the most , was that I never got to hold her...or even see her.  When I was bleeding profusely, during the beginning of the tragedy, I had two toddlers to take care of....and by the time I knew I had lost her, I was in so much pain, I was in and out of consciousness....when I awoke from the anesthesia, she was already gone...permanently..taken to the funeral home.  I remained in the hospital for another week, recovering from a severe loss of blood that was within minutes of taking my life.  She was gone...gone!!  And I never got to say goodbye..nor even to see her..............

 

lonesurvivor lonesurvivor
56-60, F
4 Responses Mar 8, 2010

Thank you both for your kind comments...michelle, I do thank God for my remaining children, who are now all grown, the youngest being 26. This event changed my life. It ended my marriage, and left me unable to have additional children. For more than twenty years, I cried every single month when my period started, b/c it meant i wasn't pregnant, and I prayed to God every day to give me another chance of being a mother. I am at peace with the lack of children in my present marriage, as I am divorcing my hubby. Children with him would've made things much more difficult. God does look out for us, even if we can't see why the events he allows are for our benefit.<br />
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andyneil, thanks so much for your take on this. You know I appreciate learning from all points of view. Thank you for taking the time to tell me this!!

God looks after everything! In Hindu dharma, you have literally delivered an angel to Him/Her! pls be at peace...you are an instrument of God!!!

Thank you, so much, baby...the tragedy still affects me today...as you know. Thank you for going to her grave with me, baby..it was the first time I'd been in 20 years....I love you, sweetheart....

I am so very sorry that this tragedy happened in your life. Personally, i think the Drs. owed you a chance to say goodbye; but it happened years before that was a common practice. Such shame, such a terrible loss. I share your grief. Remember her for the innocent angel she was, and know that she is waiting for you in heaven. <br />
With all my love and respect, <br />
Tiger