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I Miss Him So Much It Hurts.

I am really losing faith in my current situation with my husband in Iraq. The other night I just started crying uncontrollably and went into the closet grabbed all his clothes and just lost it in a hug of shirts and sweaters. I never realized just how hard this all was going to be. Missing him, taking care of my son by myself, no down time and time for just me. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I am just so lost. I have been questioning if I want to stay married and go through this ...but then I remember a divorce will just hurt worse and either way I am still without him. I have different thoughts by the minute of how to get by and cope and it seems like everyday its harder and harder to just get out of bed and live like everything is fine. I have not gotten a phone call in 3 weeks and an email in 6 days, both very weird..I was talking to him once a week and emails were coming in about every other day. *sigh*
LDuliba26 LDuliba26 26-30, F 7 Responses Feb 4, 2008

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Dont loose faith. I did, and I left my soldier fighting alone and thinking there was no-one waiting for him, missing him, pining for him, and all bacause the pain was too much. <br />
Then he died. And believe me, it hurt more than all of the missing put together.<br />
Dont do what I did, just trust and love and, gradually, (although I cannot preach about it, and although Im not even sure) it will probably become more and more easy to cope with. If you can't do it for you, do it for your son. He needs to be proud of his Father, and you need to be too.<br />
Good luck, it aint easy sailing, That I know.

hii..i am so lucky to have him..y bcz..he is cool and very attractive..and innocent also..but i miss him alot from 2days..<br />
we have small small pblms..i knw how to solve them..but i want him for my life life <br />
nd i love him until my death..forever and ever..<br />
[[a small suggestion for lovers..if u both figth sit and talk each other,then the pblm will solve]]

Hi, please do me a favor, i know we are absolute strangers, but pls. remove the thought of divorce from you state of mind...i am not married to my marine YET, and do not have any childrend with him, but i know this strain on you is just temporary, and its not the relationship its just the distance ruining things right now, you have got to stay stronger and look in to your sons eyes everyday and feel your husbands presence through HIM! i know it's hard, even though i can only imagine..be patient and just think of the reasons why you married him in the first place...my marine just left for hawaii this morning, i had to drop him off, but i am going to be moving out there with him after he gets settled in and finds our apartment (im so excited) and i cant entirely say i wish we were married right now, but him and i plan on starting our future together in hawaii and if he ever gets deployed over seas, i know i will stay as busy, strong and positive as i can, not just for me but for him, so he knows what he is doing is the best thing he can offer not just for us as a couple, but for this country....ill always be here to vent to, take care!

Oh and btw you might not have heard from him because they say they are having extreme power outages over there. My boyfriend didn't call for a couple of weeks and he said it's because all the phones were down. My friend, who is also in another part of Iraq, said his power was out too. That might be the reason.

I know I'm not married, but my boyfriend is in Iraq and I feel something about the same as you do. (Not to the same extreme. I don't have children, etc.) But it's just so hard for you to express what you're feeling over the phone...and both of us, even though we're great communicators, just can't say what we want to say. So then things are inferred and it just leaves us in a mess. All we can keep doing is push through and remember that we love each other no matter what. I have to actively tell myself that distance is ruining things-we aren't. It's hard when you get mad or sad at each other bu can't say anything for fear of just ruining it all for good. If I ever start feeling needy, I just tell him I have to go. It's so we don't hurt each other. I cry alone. <br />
<br />
But I just KNOW. When he comes through that door next June and he's done with Iraq forever.....I'll be so thankful I stuck it out. I hope that everything works out for you.<br />
<br />
If you ever need to talk, I'm always here.

I know u might think im just some punk kid but I really feel 4 u. Please don't get a devorce. I am sure he loves you so much. Ethier way u r without him and if u both love each other the limited contact and distance is worth it just so u can be together in the end.<br />
<br />
**** that sounds so stupid and i am so very sorry if i upset u with this or if i totally missed the point i am truely sorry

I used to not call my mother for 6 months at a time. Never meant that i never thought about her or did not love her. Just meant that i had faith she was there and that she still loved me. (honestly though, she hated that i didn't call).<br />
<br />
Keep the faith - he loves you and thinks of you more than you could ever know. Knowing that you are safe and still love him is what helps him keep his sanity in his insane world. Hang in there, he'll be back soon enough.