I Miss Him...

My whole life, there was something missing.  It felt at times as if I didn't even exist, as crazy as that sounds.  Then he came into my life and our friendship blossomed...and blossomed...and blossomed.  We would talk for hours sometimes.  We talked about everything.  He had the most beautiful, understanding eyes and they saw right into my soul every time he looked at me. 

Though the intense physical attraction was there from the start, it took a long time for both of us to give in to it.  And it was even more amazing than I had imagined.  Being in his arms gave me the most content, peaceful feeling I've ever known.  It was like finally being home.  I have never met a more compassionate, understanding, generous, honorable person in my life.  That he was so beautiful was a bonus.  I've never had that kind of connection with a person, and he said the same thing.  I've never given myself to someone so completely before, and I know that I never will again.  I don't know if I ever told him how important to me he was, but I think that he knew.  

I should have known that honor would win in the end...he couldn't live with the guilt.  So he walked away from me, taking my heart with him, and I will never get it back.

So I wonder, does he ever lay awake at night like I do and think about me, maybe just a little.  Does he think about how far it might have gone, if we'd let it.  Did he forget about me, and how good it felt, all of the times we shared.  Is it possible that he could have moved on, never looking back, or does he miss me too...

itsjustme21 itsjustme21
2 Responses Mar 7, 2009

Thank you and I hope your heart heals and you find love and joy elsewhere. As for my attire, I am nude unless I have to get dressed (to avoid problems with the law and the like). And BTW, welcome to EP!

If the feelings he had were anywhere near yours, then there is no way that he cannot miss you! I did not understand how honor won out unless he was married and he went back to his family, if so, then I am sure that he remembers and reminisces of the time and love shared with you!