Haven't Yet - Probably Will Soon

I don't intend to wait until marriage. I just haven't felt ready yet. I know I want to so I probably will fairly soon (not like next week but soon).

I know I want to have sex Now - not right now what I mean is that I know now that I want to have sex. I'm 16 and still a virgin - why would I want to wait until I'm 26 and married? So we can both not have any idea what we're doing? Maybe I'll be the one to teach my hubby a thing or two about pleasing a woman.
KimmieDelta KimmieDelta
18-21, F
7 Responses Oct 17, 2012

I suggest you keep it, not for religious reasons, but for others. It's my personal opinion that believe you're too young. Saving yourself for the one will make it more special. It will create a greater bond between the one you love. Remember that it can only be given ONCE. Don't regret it, and please make the right choice. It will be better in the long run. You can be one of the few proud women that don't have to live with the regret of giving it too soon. Who knows after marriage, some young girl you know might ask you if they should give it up. By then you'll know the right answer. If your BOYfriend isn't willing to wait, then leave him for a MAN who will.

Can I make it with you pleezzzzz

My boyfriend probably wouldn't like it. If we break up I'll keep you in mind.

I'm 16, have lost my virginity and do not regret it. I don't know why sex has been dirtied the way it has, it is a natural instinct and we should embrace it. Sex is as necessary to people as eating, sleeping and breathing. It is essential for a healthy state of mind.
I have never understood the pressure to stay a virgin until marriage; everybody knows marriage is just about religion and politics, not love. Sure, virginity can only be given away once but the more times you have sex (and therefore explore your sexuality) the more satisfying it becomes. As for the person I spend my life with? I don't care if I was their first, I just want to be their last. I think that is all that should matter.

You are right

In a lot of places in the world people still do marry at 12 or younger. It's just different customs. I just don't see that marriage actually has a lot to do with love at all.

That's all good as long as you haven't caught a disease or have a unwanted pregnancy along the way. Sex is fun, but there are risks. The fewer people you share yourself with the better.

I agree - I wasn't advocating for reckless promiscuity and yes, safer sex is always a better option but I don't think people who suggest 'waiting for marriage' do so because of concerns for sexual health, I think it's a moral stance and I think that it just serves to commodify people.

1 More Response

I waited until I was in my 20s and regret it. I was ready at a younger age and repressing the feelings just led to poor decisions, frustration, and problems in my first real relationships. Everyone is different and only you can say whether you are ready or not but if you are ready, sex can be a wonderful thing. Getting that "first time anxiety" over with will help you learn about yourself sexually.

I was a good catholic boy. I waited till I was very close to being married before I lost my virginity. It was a few months before the wedding. I was naive and she was more experienced, but she wouldn't give ******** or even let me go down on her often. But, we had lots of regular sex and she said she would learn to give and receive oral. Well, 28yrs later, and I've never received a ******* in my life. I've been true to my wife, but temptations are getting stronger. And, for the past 15yrs, she hasn't let me go down on her. Sex is now every couple of months.
I don't wish that on my 20yr old daughter. I want my daughter to experience men. I want her to enjoy her youth...but be safe. There are many nice men out there and she needs to try on a few pair before she knows what she really wants.
Be careful. Be smart. Learn about sex, diseases, protection. Know your body and a guys body. Experiment with toys. Have some fun.

Sixteen equals hormones. I guess... I don't think you're ready. I don't know you. And I know what its like to be female and "know" you know everything. But I guess... wait until that next moment you look back on the self you were and think "geez, I didn't know anything back then." Those moments happen... and I guess, wait through a few more of those before you confirm that you're really "ready." Because I don't know that anyone's ever really ready.

After you give away your virginity, you can just pop down to the local store and buy a bag of new ones. You future husband will be so pleased to find out that you know all about the treatments for STD's and that the itching, rash and sores will soon go away. It's great to be young because you live forever, nothing goes wrong, you are immune to everything and you have no value because you do not value yourself. Unfortunately in the real world, if you do not value yourself, then no one else will either. You are not on this earth long enough to treat yourself and your life as if it was a replaceable item.

Just because you are open to exploring your sexuality does not mean you do not value yourself. Sexuality is a really important part of a person's life and repressing peoples' sexuality can lead to just as many problems as abusing it.