I Was Not Sure

This is the time when i just turned 19 and was in college. my mom and dad separated by that time and my elder sister got married. we had a huge house and it was parted in two sections. once my mom told me that sharad my cousin is coming to visit us. he was 5 years elder to me. once i was coming back from college and took auto and i found a book in auto, probably someone left it or forgot. i took that book and came home i tried to find out about the book . it was full with sex stories and pictures. at very first i did not like it and kept under my bed. my cousin arrived and mom gave him the room just besides mine one. we had dinner and i saw him looking at my breasts which were around 30 by that time and i was wearing a sleeveless low neck nighty. i felt bit awkward. then i went in my room. i was laying on bed and thinking about that book. finally i took that book out and started reading and got aroused with the stories again i hided in my cupboard. i was wet but did not do anything as i was not totally aware of sexual word. once i came home from college and did not find that book in my self and got scared if mom found it. but mom was normal and when we were having tea mom asked sharad that if he managed to find hollywood dvds in my cupboard??? i got the glance that sharad had taken it. then sharad came in my room at night and asked if i read those books i said no i just found it in auto. well i was bit curious abot sex adventure and we were open in our talk. i said i am virgin and never had anything like this before. then he told me that he can show me his ****. first i ignores than he said just watch.... i agreed and he unzipped his pant and took his 7" **** out. and again i was arousing. h came near me i was sweating and he asked me to touch it i could not resist and started rubbing his ****. now he asked me to take my cloths out i was feeling shy but tok my nighty out and was in panty. he saw wet spot in my white panty and understood that i was ready. he gave his **** in my mouth which i felt ugly but then i started feeling nice he was moaning ""ooohhh nice hmmmmmmmmm moree"" and took my panty out. i had little hairs around he laid me down and spread my legs started licking my *****. i was in little pain and excitement..."""ooohhh sharad slowly mmmmoooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"""" then he put his **** on my ***** lips and started inserting but it was very tight and i was in great pain. ten he took a cream from my make up box and apllied nicely in my uusy and again tried this time his half of the **** was inside me and i was crying, he kept his han on my mouth and inserted rst of the tool inside i was bleeding and could not bear that pain. he laid on top of me for few minutes then started stroking i was feeling bit nicer this time. he kept sucking my boobs and lips..... after 10 minutes he came on my tummy. and i could not get up for next 20 minutes. he went to his room and wiped my blood and *** wore my nighty and went bathroom.