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Didn't Wait! Don't Care!

I didn't wait, but married the man I lost it to. I hadn't dated much in high school or college; I didn't really believe in dating unless you felt you might have a future with them so I always broke it off before it got serious when I knew there was no way I would be in love with the person.

I had just turned 20 and the relationship was a bit of a fluke; I was studying abroad and a long time friend admitted that they liked me. I didn't want to make the friendship awkward or tank by refusing him, so I figured why not do something different for a change and just give it a shot. In the very least it would buy us a bit more friendship time. I didn't have any hang ups about sex itself before marriage even though I was raised to "wait". We did it on the third date. I was too self-conscious about whether I was attractive enough to enjoy it. Effects of social media pressure and a father that always nit-picked on my looks.

Going back I might have taken things slower so I could gave had the chance to be more self-confident and enjoy it more. Either way it doesn't matter now. We dated 6 years before waiting to get married, been married one year. Sex has never been an issue before or after. Some people think I missed out not experimenting more before settling down but my husband is down to try anything new and we have a good sex life because of it so I don't feel like I've missed anything. We're not very hung up on comparing our sex life to others, either, which is IMHO one of the best things about our relationship. We may not be the best personality match but I think it helps bring out the best in us both and pushes us to improve. I hope we're always like this.

In short, life doesn't always go the way you imagine but it all works out so just go with the flow and appreciate whatever you have or what it teaches you. :) Virginity is overrated as a virtue; do whatever feels right whether that means doing it now or waiting without letting others influence you or making it a competition.
jlk2 jlk2 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 16, 2012

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My experience is similar to yours. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you. Everything you said is so true.