I didn't wait until marriage for sex and I didn't regret it then, and I don't regret it now. I haven't had much casual sex in my life, and truly I don't regret the few encounters I have had. I am a sexual being, and I make no apologies for that. Sex is a wonderful thing and as long as you take measures to protect yourself, I say have at it.

autimom autimom
31-35, F
7 Responses Nov 12, 2008

I totally agree about embracing who we are and that our sexuality is an intrinsic part of us. I am so sorry that you found a man who could not deal with that. It is definitely his lose, although you had a price to pay too. My own theory is that if a man is scared of a woman's sexuality it is due to his feelings of inadequacy... he is afraid he will not be able to satisfy her and is afraid he will be seen as less than "all man" because of that. (I know, only my theory). But I have never found a man who was good in bed that was afraid of my sexuality! The exact opposite is more the case!

There are men who don't appreciate a sexual woman, and actually find a woman with a healthy sex drive a bit disgusting. I know, I married one. There are men that appreciate it, I know, but not all of them.<br />
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I refuse to be ashamed of my sexuality. It is part of who I am, and an important part. Women should embrace their sexuality, and be proud of it.<br />
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My parents were like your dad, Saratogagirl. I was told also to not give myself away lightly, but they never tried to tell me sex was dirty, wrong, or that my virginity was a sacred thing that should be saved for marriage.

Hey, autimom, totally agree here. Especially the question about whether sons are told to be chaste until marriage... yeah Right! It bothers me to see this new movement to say that a woman's sexual desire is somehow dirty and that women who have sex are somehow "less" than women who dont... SEZ WHO? What's so precious about a hymen? Gimmee a break. My virginity was mine, to do with as I saw fit. I was raised by a single dad, and I will say this about him -- he raised me with a great deal of self-love and NEVER told me I was anything but EQUAL to a boy in all ways. I was told to be careful, to value myself, to look out for myself, but NEVER that I had to be a little virgin girl. (Good thing, too, because once I discovered the joy of sex -- good book title, that -- there was no turning back.)

If both people are mature, responsible and can handle the possible consequences (a pregnancy) then waiting for marriage is not a necessity. I didn't wait either and don't regret it at all.

I agree wholeheartedly. It is nice if you don't give yourself away lightly, but waiting for marriage is an antiquated notion and doesn't make sense at all to me in today's world.

Yes...but if you had a son, would you tell HIM to wait?

I would have to agree for the most part. I mean I have a daughter and i will definatly tell her to wait , but that might be hypocrytical to say.Its quite a challenge finding someone that didnt wait till they were married. But i agree sex is a good thing.