Wait For What?

At age thirteen, it never occurred to me that marriage was absolutely necessary.  It was an option that had no real value other than government protection that was being denied to certain minorities.  Of course, I didn't think about that quite as much, only that while at that time in my life a Christian, I was still open to sexuality as a whole.  I had no real judgment of it when my friends had sex.

When I met my first love, I knew without a doubt we'd have sex eventually.  He and I certainly didn't stop to think about marriage yet, we were still in high school.  However, we had the intelligence to pursue sex in a fun, responsible, open-minded way.

At twenty now, I still ponder about it.  Regardless of all that, I knew I never planned to wait until marriage.  Indeed, I certainly have had sex and there are no concrete plans of a wedding in the near future.  I honestly do not believe sex should be perceived as exclusive to marriage institution.

I cannot see anything magical about waiting until marriage.  Sex is suddenly given an important, fearful, awed air.  The first night promises discomfort.  Plus, how do you know you are sexually compatible with the one you plan to marry? Then, in a married life, the busyness of career, family life, social life, taxes, and bills continues on only with a different name.  Sex is not so scary and so highly important then, it would be the same as before you were married had you tried.

Sex has its own value, as does intimacy and love, separately.  There is no discounting that.  Sex is good for connection that people need, as well as communication and intimacy.  Then there is the undeniable fact that marriage goes under two categories: Government and Religion.  I'm an atheist.  I find that there is no need to place religious rules upon sex.  I also do not place a whole lot of importance on virginity, as one of my stories states.  I place more importance on self-respect and responsibility.  Then again, that's entirely my own opinion.

In this way, I'm glad I didn't opt to wait until marriage.  What if I never married, but instead chose to live my life with the man I love without ever marrying? Or better yet as my future seems to hold; live my life with my two men and my woman?

Happyface Happyface
18-21, F
7 Responses Nov 13, 2008

I view sex the same way. I'm 16, going 17 and lost my virginity recently and I never intended to wait until marriage. I don't regret it at all and I don't feel any different about myself. I wouldn't want to wait until marriage simply for the fact that I wouldn't want to marry someone and find I am totally incompatible with them, not sexually attracted to them or I haven't discovered my own sexuality fully. I don't understand why sex has been 'dirtied' and why people are made to feel ashamed of wanting to openly explore their sexuality and intimacy. It is a natural human instinct and, yes, marriage really is just about religion and government. It is actually very little about love or monogamy, since most people are in love with or sleep with multiple people in their lifetime anyway.

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if u are of s/s age and u have minor kids they may qualiy for s/s bennies ..........but with out marriage ..not! <br />
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if you are maried for 10 years u qualify to chosse from ur s/s benfits or ur spouse wich ever is greater ......with otu marriage .not! <br />
IF UR NOT MARRIED TO UR PARTNER..... UR ALL MOST **** OUT OF LUCK WHEN IT COMES TO BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF THEM IN DEA.H OR BAD HEALTH ... U HAVE NO SAY TO WHAT GOES ON.... OR PERMITTED TO BE IN THE KNOW , WHY? CAUSE U ARE NOT MArried to them and you are not blood family ...some do take the stance and write up legal papers in case of any thing happening .....but most dont un less there is big money involed

There are other contracts possible. Visiting a notary and explaining your situation is all it takes.

Yes. This is all true. If your not an independent fully qualified woman. If all you are is a stay at home 'wife' figure raising kids. Then yes, you need marriage to legally support yourself and any off spring in the case of death of 'husband' figure. But really. It's 2013. Go make your own money hunny! I support my man. I bring home the bread, butter, wine, and vacation tickets. Constantly and consistently. Like a woman in 2012 should!

NOW about SEX before marriage? Yes please. If I had waited I wouldn't be the woman I am today! With so many different kinky desires! I love that I have explored myself, and others, sexually. I also love that when I met my man, we were able to share women etc. still do on occasion. But we are open and have very strong communication bonds with one another. I truly believe, with EXPERIENCE (not just age), comes more of the openness to express oneself fearlessly. Plus. When we grow, we loose some of the shyness, which also helps us open up to other scenarios! But please, use birth control teens!!


Uh... writing in capslock. Right. Could not be bothered reading that hysterical mess.

1 More Response

Sex is the most wonderful thing that happened to me. So long as you are doing it with somebody you want to be with , go!

yea u'r right but it is important for forwarding.so sex keeps important place in our life.

There was a time maybe 100 years ago when people got married in their teens. Going to high school was a luxary that few could afford. College or trade school was for the rich or middle class only. Things are different now. People get married later for various reasons. Waiting untill you are married does not make sense. It never did and it never will. As long as two people have responsible sex-CONDOMS!!!! and BIRTH CONTROL every time, then it is a good thing for both people.<br />
You do not seem to have any regrets nor should you.

You've got a good point there.

Cheers to that!