Wait For What?
At age thirteen, it never occurred to me that marriage was absolutely necessary. It was an option that had no real value other than government protection that was being denied to certain minorities. Of course, I didn't think about that quite as much, only that while at that time in my life a Christian, I was still open to sexuality as a whole. I had no real judgment of it when my friends had sex.
When I met my first love, I knew without a doubt we'd have sex eventually. He and I certainly didn't stop to think about marriage yet, we were still in high school. However, we had the intelligence to pursue sex in a fun, responsible, open-minded way.
At twenty now, I still ponder about it. Regardless of all that, I knew I never planned to wait until marriage. Indeed, I certainly have had sex and there are no concrete plans of a wedding in the near future. I honestly do not believe sex should be perceived as exclusive to marriage institution.
I cannot see anything magical about waiting until marriage. Sex is suddenly given an important, fearful, awed air. The first night promises discomfort. Plus, how do you know you are sexually compatible with the one you plan to marry? Then, in a married life, the busyness of career, family life, social life, taxes, and bills continues on only with a different name. Sex is not so scary and so highly important then, it would be the same as before you were married had you tried.
Sex has its own value, as does intimacy and love, separately. There is no discounting that. Sex is good for connection that people need, as well as communication and intimacy. Then there is the undeniable fact that marriage goes under two categories: Government and Religion. I'm an atheist. I find that there is no need to place religious rules upon sex. I also do not place a whole lot of importance on virginity, as one of my stories states. I place more importance on self-respect and responsibility. Then again, that's entirely my own opinion.
In this way, I'm glad I didn't opt to wait until marriage. What if I never married, but instead chose to live my life with the man I love without ever marrying? Or better yet as my future seems to hold; live my life with my two men and my woman?