I totally agree with the "taking the car for a test drive" analogy that another member gave. But I also just believe that sex can be enjoyed on many levels and doesn’t have to go hand in hand with marriage, or even with love. The whole “waiting until marriage” mentality seems to come with this idea that if you love someone, the sexual chemistry will come naturally, and if it doesn’t, you can get there just by being more open about what you want. My experience has taught me that this is not the case. I think that, to a certain extent, the chemistry is either there, or it’s not. I’ve had boyfriends who were nice guys, we had a lot in common, but we found out pretty quickly that we just didn’t mesh in bed. With one of them I felt like he wanted step by step instructions each time, and for me that killed the passion. I could pretend I was enjoying myself, or I could just admit that it wasn’t working for me. I opted for the latter. Needless to say if I'd married him, it would've been much more complicated.
Now the best sex of my life I had with a casual friend. He and I never would’ve lasted in a relationship, but we were attracted to each other so we tried making out and it led to amazing sex. Maybe if we’d been madly in love it would’ve been even better, but the fact is, I haven’t been lucky enough to find someone I love who can also do it for me sexually, and in the meantime I’m going to experiment. And will NOT apologize for it.