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Died At 21

I went in for surgery Oct 2011. As soon as they put me to sleep I flat lined, took the doctor 45 mins to get me back. When i woke up i had no idea where I was, what was going on or what month it was. I do not remember anything about the week I spent in the hospital but since I was released from hospital I have terrible nightmares, about my son dyong, that my sister who is 14 gets very sick and almost dies, I also have dreams about things that terrify me more than I can explain. Since this happened I am scared of so many things and i do not sleep. I'm worried about making sure my son is okay and that i can prevent bad thinga from happening to him. Some days are really hard because I'm 21, have a pacemaker, I'm on many medications, and i can not live the carefree life moat 22 year olds can, I have no one in my life who can relate or who would understand if i told them how I feel 99% of the time.
micsmama micsmama 22-25, F Apr 10, 2012

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