True Discipline

We have always used a firm hand theroy of discipline. Training children on how they are to behave is not something that is done overnight or something that can be done using "time out". When a child knows the rules and clearly disobeys them there is nothing wrong with using a firm hand to let them know and give them cause to stop and think about thier actions.
jointhecorner jointhecorner
36-40, F
14 Responses Aug 20, 2011

Same here in this house.x

I absolutely agree

It really is heat warming to see so many responses from people that feel the same way as I do! God bless you all!!!!

Ugh. Feminism means having the right to do what u want, including be a submussive. Assault means the act of using physical force over another person. If u dont have permission assault is wrong. Let children grow up and decide for themselves if they want to be assaulted. Assaulting children teaches them it is ok to assault others. If their own parents would beat them than why stop there? Jesus said "those who would harm these little ones should be cast in the sea with a stone around their necks." Jesus didnt get that mad often so maybe u should take note. Dont start quoting old testament to me, im a Christian, not an ideologue.

You have to teach your children acceptable limits and let them grow up to make their own decisions within those limits.

I guess I agree with that response and that would include assault. I dont cross that line and I want my children to learn that also. On the other hand I my daughter jumped off the curb yesterday on a busy street and I promised next time she did it I would spank her. Nobody is perfect.

hopefully, there won't be a next time, for if there is, she just may jump out in front of a car, and the next time if she does do it, and you don't follow up with the promise, you will just have taught your daughter it's ok to lie

Jesus also said "spare the rod, spoil the child" as well as "he who loves his child disciplines, and this who don't hateth their child".

Actually that wasnt in the bible before 1377.

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"The firm hand on the bare bottom experience" is necessary for a child to learn to behave.

Good for you! We use the same philosophy in our home. Children need and appreciate firm boundaries and rules by which to live . Too many children these days are growing up with parents who are afraid to discipline. As a result, they never learn how to lead a responsible life within a society.

Agreed. Just being shown the slipper or cane in our household did the trick !

My mom used a firm hairbrush on my bare hiney. It worked.

thats the way i was brought up so i stand by you 100percent

100% in agreement. Kids today are very much different than when we grew up. They are not afraid to tell you to spank them so they can call the cops or tell their teacher. You see kids all the time acting out in public and you can slap their bottom or anything. You very rarely if ever saw consistent bad behavior from a kid in my day. You got caught, you were spanked and punished.

So true. back in the days I was spanked even in public never was the cops called.

Disgusting! Well said in your first post gymshoejane. I have been a child carer for 22 years & a parent for 11. No child in my care has ever been physically struck by me. I spend time, effort and energy making sure my children know right from wrong and how to care for others. I always receive wonderful comments from other parents and glowing school reports from teachers about my children's good behaviour and empathy towards others. Hitting anyone at any age is totally wrong. Parenting is the most important job in the world, why is it the only one where it is acceptable to hurt and injure those most vunerable?!

Why spend time and energy knowing right from wrong - a quick spanking gives a short, sharp, shock. 5-10 minute spanking gives you something to think about and acts as a deterrent. Where is the deterrent in talking ? If you know the belt or cane is coming your way you'll think about it - believe me and I'm talking from experience. I was frequently slippered, caned and belted both at school and at home. I'm not inured, emotionally hurt, aggressive, going around hitting people and most people of the CP era would confess "did me no harm". To many do gooders in the World today leading to too many disrespectful children.

Spanking teaches a child that it is ok for a bigger person to hit a smaller person. It hurts a childs feelings and teaches them to fear their parents. It reinforces to a child that they had better lie to their parents then honestly own up to something they have done because they dont TRUST their parents.<br />
<br />
To review: Spanking teaches<br />
violence<br />
fear authority figures<br />
lying<br />
distrust people<br />
<br />
Spanking is a lazy parents way to discipline, we as a society can do much better by our children.

That simply is not true. Abuse (physical or emotional) teaches those things, spanking does not. Spanking is a punishment method, and when used properly it does what all punishment is designed to do for children; that being to teach and reinforce that improper behavior has adverse consequences. Spanking is not at all an indication of laziness. Parents who spank have to do all the things that non-spanking parents do: Communicate with their children, set clear expectations in an age-appropriate way, teach by example, love and cherish - and punish for misbehavior. Punishment of all kinds is a very small, but essential, part of parenting. It is not possible for children to learn that improper behavior has adverse consequences unless parents impose adverse consequences when their children misbehave.

There are other ways to teach consequences to kids; time outs, losing a privaledge ect. I for one find it far better to reinforce positive choices by rewarding good behavior in my children.
I do agree on one point: that if you must spank, you should communicate with your child and reinforce to the child after the spanking that you love them regardless of the poor behavior choice.

Technically, spanking is hitting. However, grounding is then false imprisonment and assigning extra chores is slave labor. Virtually any method of discipline used with children can be given a negative name. That said, if time outs work then use them. I think it's best to have a variety of tools in the parental toolbox and use the correct one for each specific job.

Well said Jon1975. Punishment is a small but essential part of parenting, and parents should use whatever combination of methods works best for their individual situation.

There are other more effective and kinder methods to teach children.
I was never spanked and I am a law abiding, tax paying, educated, caring person.
My children have never been spanked, and my son who is 9 is praised by his teachers for his polite and caring nature. He is compassionate and respectful. My daughter is only a toddler but is learning through consistency and boundaries respect for herself and others. She has never been spanked and will NEVER be spanked.

There are other methods which are more effective for some children at some times, but spanking is also the most effective method for many children at some times. The key is to use the most effective combination of methods for each individual child, and parents should not limit themselves by not considering spanking as one ofthe options.

Load of rubbish gumshowjane2

Very well put!! Completely agree with you!

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I agree 100% Spanking is a well proven and accepted way to train to your children to become responsible for there actions. I actually think that parents who don't spank are letting their children down.

same here. it did me no harm when my mom used a firm hand on me when I crossed the line.