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The Wooden Spoon

We disciplined our son and daughter with a very good implement, the humble kitchen wooden spoon.
We found it a very effective implement in giving a good sting yet not causing damage like a cane, for example. We ended the CP around puberty, and now I often wonder if we should have continued. They had been model kids till then and afterwards, all hell broke loose....
reggiefane reggiefane 56-60, M 48 Responses Dec 31, 2011

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Should have continued

Thanks for your comment. By all means message to disuss family CP

I think you should have continued with cp till they left home!

You are probably right about the fact that the discipline should have continued after puberty. It just seems to be the usual pattern.
When the discipline stopped, they figured that they COULD break ALL of hell loose since there were no longer consequences for their actions. It should have continued even into late teens or even further as long as they were under your roof. I have plenty of people in my EP circle who have admitted to being spanked even in their early twenties!
Being model kids during their earlier years and then turning away from the pattern of good behavior into a consistent pattern of bad behavior once the spanking ceased proves that point.
Many spankers wrongly use the word "discipline" in PLACE of the word "punishment" or "spanking." The word "discipline" simply means "to teach." Self discipline is a classic example of this; where you teach yourself to manage your time better, etc.
Spanking is a form of punishment used to TEACH the child the CONSEQUENCES for negative behavior and personal rewards as a consequence for good. For example, no study (or SELF discipline in studies) results in bad grades, whereas well disciplined steady study habits will result in success in school and in life!
I know canning is primarily a British form of punishment. I never got the cane nor the belt, even in boarding school. My parents were German and Dutch. I think the wooden spoon has its roots from the
Dutch and the OTK position came from the Germans.
My mom used her hand until I was 8 or nine then "promoted" me to the paddle, If the paddle wasn't near by, she would grab the wooden spoon and put it to work on my bottom.
I was also fortunate that I was never bared for spankings. Interestingly enough, I always enjoyed baring bottoms to deliver play spankings as a kid. I believe I got the idea either from the kids I spanked who were used to being bared or from enjoying the view of a bare bottom when playing "doctor." However it started, baring bottoms was my delight ever since my joy of spanking began well over a half century ago.
Did you bare your kids and/or use the OTK position when spanking them?

Thank you for your excellent and detailed contribution. I agree with every word. Happy to chat privately about details.

EP chat costs money. I'd rather just communicate via private message. Therefore, there will be less pressure to respond immediately. I hope to message with you back and forth regularly.
Hope you had a memorable Christmas with your kids. I have no family. My nearest family is over 1,000 miles away. I did, however enjoy a wonderful meal with the family of a co-worker. I also treated myself to a nice meal Christmas meal and bought myself a personal dvd player since I have no TV or internet services in my home.
It would be great to have someone to "talk to" and share precious memories with now that I am old and alone. Please be my friend.

Actually, if you download the EP app for smartphones, you can effectively chat for free. But of course you may prefer to message me.

We did have a lovely Christmas with love from us round the table. I'm sorry about your family situation. But of course I am here as a friend for you, I think you are in my circle

Thanks for that. The family who had me over were strangers at first but we connected right away. The conversation was wonderful and the food was unbelievable!
My younger sister has not had a "well (unsick)" day in 48 years yet managed to live her childhood dream of being a wife and mother. She has no kidneys, her liver is not functioning properly and she has had a shunt in her head since the age of 8. The one she has now is more permanent than the other three. In all she has been through over the years she has never complained but came through everything with flying colors!
I will write you a private message in a few minutes. Look for it.

Thank you. What an amazing woman your sister is. I wish her well.

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Add a response...

A response to what, please? Note the use of the word please :-)

I'm so glad that I read this I was feeling like a bad mom because I use the spoon but my children behave most of the time we always get complements on how good they are and how respectful they act. One of my biggest pet peeves is a disrespectful child we never acted like the kids I see if we did we would get beat.

WELL done you! Feel free to contact me privately to discuss family spanking/tips

Good for you. Keep it up as long as they are in your home, as long as you don't punish in anger, as did my parents. Eventually, they will respect you for it. How old are they now and how young were they when you began spanking?

shame you did end CP so early i had kept up with CP on my girls till they moved out of house but still had one that came back asking for CP

Wow, David, this is so interesting. I'd like to message privately with you about this!

That's wonderful. That proves your adult child respects you for correcting them when they were young! My guess the one that returned was a daughter, am I right in assuming that?

You should've been using a paddle. Also it is not too late to let them know they're getting bare bottom spankings again like before in childhood its your house your rules control your misbehaving kids

I agree.

Me, too!!!

I have always felt that kids should be spanked all the way through school. My parent's stopped spanking about the same time you did though. You probably did the right thing.

parents should spank though school age high school that is or college if needed nothing wrong with discipline when needed

Not at all. You are 100% correct.

Right you are, David4u! They need YOUR loving correction up until they pay their OWN way in life! I trust they are better people for having received you affection through your attempts at teaching them great values!

I am 34 and had to move home. The spoon is used in mom's house. It hurts.

How interesting. You mean you were still getting it?

I got it until around 21. But now moved home and since been spanked with the hair brush and the spoon.

from momma or dad?

That is how it is supposed to be! You have a great mom!!!

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Growing up my sisters and were spanked until we moved out , my own children were spanked into their teens , I think they were better for it because we held them accountable for their behavior and punishment when they misbehaved . You should have continued to use that wooden spoon .

Thanks, Jac24, and you may well be right. Glad you used CP as a parent and continued. Please do chat with me privately if you wish!

You could have spanked me into my late teens , in fact you could have spanked me till I left home Jac !

As someone whose parents if anything increased the spankings at puberty, and continued them through college, I can say two things with certainty: I absolutely hated being spanked, and it did me a world of good.

Wooden spoons are surprisingly effective.

I'm sure can find someone to oblige!

That's a shame. In my long career as a disciplinarian, I spanked many females (and males) whose partners did not understand their need for discipline.

What area are you in?

Hi, not sure whom you were asking, but I live in the UK.

I was definitely asking about you. Sadly I am on the east coast of America.

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I, too was spanked growing up and even got the wooden spoon by my mom. You are right about it being a great implement delivering a good sting. My dad needed no implement. His had was as heavy as steel! I felt every whack. Neither of my parents had to spank on the bare because their hot seats whackings got their message through plainly!
My interest in baring bottoms began with my infatuation I had with them when I was very young. I found it stimulating to have a warm body over my knee for a play spanking many times in my younger years.
If done correctly, a good spanking is a good for of discipline if it is NOT done out of anger but out of LOVE.

Well yes spanking do not have to be on the bare bum but it makes the spanking worse it almost like double punishment.

and it's embarrassing. when your pants are down you are exposed and humbled

Well there your answer you should of kept up with it. I have heard this before parent stopped cp but went back to it after a couple of years and the child changed for the better if it works why not. Remember the kids know the rules and what will happen so if they do not want to be showing their bums off to there parent or siblings when doing corner time well then behave .

After my divorce I stopped discipline all together and like you Reggie I am now reaping the consiquences of it.

May I ask why you stop discipline after the divorce?

I endet also in the puberty the spanking for our children. The wooden spoon was also a implement in our house for this. A fire red bottom is special for younger children the best answer of bad behaviour or disobedient.

Excellent to know you used the same wooden spoon method! Do you feel it was right to stop when you did?

I mean it was right to stop in this time. Deserved is a spanking often also for older children but it work better for younger children.

Well you will find here some parents have gone back to spanking because that's the only thing that works after years of no spanking they went back to spanking and wonder why they stopped in the first place.

Also parents should think about increasing the amount of swats they give there kids. If you keep on giving the same amount of swats at 5 and the same at 14 there is something wrong. Their bums have more or less got use to that amount so it really not working. I am not saying spank the day lights out of your kids at all but surely you would agree 10 swats on a 5 year old works but on a 14 year will not.

Yes, thanks for your comments, all v true

mine was spanked till 16 after that i think they got the message on how to behave

A typical story of the good results of spanking, and a warning not to stop to early. I have a 13 year old daughter, and she really needs to be spanked now and then. I and my wife are set on continuing raising her by repeated spankings until her behaviour is improved.

Thank you for your kind comment and yes, I feel you were right. I would like to chat with you about your daughter, especially as my wife got a lot from the age of 13-17 so I can help you with her experience

Are you sure you can type with one hand?

Well, I am sure of one thing: if you don't have anything useful or constructive to say in life, better to stay silent. And that's with both hands, darling

Thanks for your comment. You are doing totally the right thing, and if I had my time again spanking would be the first resort not last. Would you like to discuss privately? I'm very interested to hear more. maybe for the benefit of any grandchildren

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it is good you did not need CP anymore
i had spank my daughters paddle or hairbrush though teens late teens bare bottom if they need it they will get it
they are married now an had thank me for there punishment over the years

I fully support what you did. And it's great they understand and thank you!

yes it was very nice they understood after all those years of spanking
an late in teens after there spanking an they compose themselfs they came to me saying sorry an thank me for there spanking each time

I think that is so sweet that they had the humility to come and thank you after CP, rather than sulking!

i thought the thanking was very nice of them an i told them so an mademy job spanking them better

well they did i would assume sulk an crying in there room but came down after

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Once all hell brakes loose..its hard to get your kids under control...just ask my friend John..the subject of many of my stories!

I was spanked on the back of the legs with a wooden spoon by mum. Finally she stopped when I was about 12. She lost the plot when my much older brothers took me to the speedway. It was a cold night and I had left my parker (wind jacket) at school. She got out the spoon and broke it over my leg. My brothers laughed and teased mum. She gave up at that point. I still went to the speedway and got teased by my brothers about being spanked.

My family, we were all spanked a little past puberty, and some of us, especially me, rebelled a lot after the spankings stopped. I'm not too surprised that if punishment is less of a threat, behavior could be effected. But at some point in childhood, I think one has to start making good decisions without the threat of physical punishment. It took me several years. I don't know how I'd have reacted if things had been different.

My mum and dad spanked me regularly and hard but also talked to me about my wrongdoing and helped me understand. As I grew older, I was allowed to make mistakes and taught to face the consequences and effect my action may have on others. I didn't need many spankings in my teens but knew I would be severely punished if I was to repeat offences they knew I should have learnt from when I was younger.One golden rule was never bring shame on the family, so misbehaving in public or at school, would earn me the slipper at least or sometimes the cane from mum or dad.

Well it looks like it worked are you raising your kids that way?

I sure did and my gandkids also. It's not easy when so many people are against spanking. I do not use canes or belts, but will spank bare bottom with slipper or wooden spoon, for more serious offences.

It does not matter if people are against it you are raising your kids that's it that's all . If you do not raise you kids probably the state will later and that will not be good . Look at the kids of the people that say spanking is not good there wild out of control breaking the law all because there parent did not give them a good spanking when they needed it, Well the parents need a good spanking. True not all kids are bad some turn out great well to those parents good job. But to the parents were the kids turn out bad get those pants down and get over the knee and then 30 minutes in the corner.

My son-in-law had my grand daughter doing corner time with her bottom bared, while my grandson and his pals were in and out of the house playing. She is 5 and he is 7. I felt uncomfortable about this.

Why did you not do the same thing with your boys and grandson? And does it work the other way around meaning does your grandson do corner time bare bum and she playing around. I hear that humiliation does good to stop someone from misbehaving.

Only with our own close family. I agree that humiliation does add to the punishment but it also leaves her open to teasing from his pals. He knows better than to tease her about any punishment because he will get double. At what age would you say it's inappropriate for others, even siblings to see each other's bare bottoms?

This is a very interesting debate going on on my post! Most welcome. I am all for spanking, we personally did not have them do cornertime/display but at my school there was public CP

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I think its normal for all hell to break loose around puberty no matter what.

So what are you waiting for get those pants down and get the wooden spoon back to work. If you had a system that worked why change it sorry puberty is no answer. Remember it no you getting them spanked it's themselves

As you say \"DAW2012\", down with the panties and use the spoon, as it seemed to give the best result. Many antispankers are blaming puberty, and take it as a reason not to spank. I take it as a reson TO spank!

To me it make no difference puberty or not if the child misbehave well then the child is asking for the spanking

I agree, but during a period, I allowed my daughter to keep her panties on, but she got it harder

Aahhh, your mum sounds so sweet. Like mine! But in our house, we both spanked. Thanks for your comment, please accept my friendship invite and it would be lovely to chat online on EP if you do that sort of thing!

My dad was the disciplinarian, my mom tried the wooden spoon with me, but often she had to chase me with it and swat at my butt while I was running. Most ever she got in was 3 swats. I didn't dare run from my dad, my mom just wasn't good at spanking and would give up an leave it to my father. Even the swats she got in weren't enough to make me cry.

good on you.kid get a way with to much to day

it helps some times but its embaracing

At what age did you stoped spanking your kids. Did they were spanked in private, or in front of each other.

Disciplining in their bedroom Until they left home as Adults . Not in frount of anyone .

Bringing up youngsters without Discipline is Stupid Parenting . Disruptive youngsters need to be Punished .A Sore bottom did me no lasting harm . Having strict Parents growing up might have done me some good . i got well Educated and became a successful BusinessMan . Discipline makes a person fucus the mind to do ones best . Well Disciplined youngsters have more Motivation and inspiration to do ones best at everything they do in their life as Adults . UnDisciplined youngsters grow up Lazy without Motivation succeeding at doing Nothing with their life . Strict Parenting makes better ADULTS . Without Discipline their is just Chaos

Of course we tried absolutely everything else, and not spanking, in teen years, as discipline. They got into deep trouble, the effects of which reverberated for years. Some teens just do, and maybe spanking would not have worked, but I reflect and wonder why nothing else did.
At present, however, we have an awful family health crisis with a young member of the family so it kind of puts the above into perspective.

youngsters did as they were told in the 1950s 1960s or got a very sore bottom . My Mum would make me behave . she was very Controling . i was often thrashed severely i cried lots . even into my 20s i was often being Strapped Naked by my mum across my bare bottom . Living at home My Mum was in Control of me and Disciplined me if and when it was needed . i would never take Grounding if mun said you are to be Strapped or Grounded David . i would say i will take the punishment and i an sorry Mum . She always said its to late for being sorry go to your bedroom . i new i had to be Naked when i was punished it was part of the punishment . i would have to be face down Naked on my bed waiting for My Mum to thrash me . first Mum smacked my bare bottom with her hand . Both cheeks one after the other harder and harder until my bottom was red and ready to be Strapped severely . Mum had a variety of implements she used on my bare bottom if it was going to be a severe Disciplinary session . sometimes Mum thrashed my bare bottom for more than an hour if she was in the mood . Home Discipline was Approved of in the 1950s 1960s when i was growing up . youngsters were Raised to be Respectful . Life was very different back then . today youngsters do as they please . some need a good hiding . in the 1950s 1960s if a youngster Disobeyed Rules or was being Disruptive he or she got a very sore bottom . most Parents were very stricter than they are today . Parenting back then was teaching youngsters to beheave themselfs . Without Discipline their is just CHAOS

That's amazing to read about your excellent discipline from mum. One hour of spanking ... wow, today some might call it abuse, but I know that those times were very different and I don't consider it was seen as that then.

Strict Parenting was Approved of in the 1950s and into the 1960s . Looking back i do think my Mum was very severe sometimes . But it was not Abuse i was Loved and i loved my Mum . Most Parents were strict and Believed in home Discipline . The Cane was used in all Schools back then it was very Efftctive at keeping Disruptive youngsters in Line . 1950s Discipline worked . Without Discipline their is Chaos in the home and on the streets . i truly believe youngsters need Discipline if they have messed up .

You mentioned your Mum had a variety of implements she used on your bare bottom. What were they? My dad was the disciplinarian growing up. First hand spankings till about age 9 then he started taking off his belt and called it "The Strap" and we got strapped with his belt good. He was never abusive, and of course it hurt, but we always knew it was deserved and taught us to behave and learn discipline.

i Remember when i was Age 18 Living at home . A Neighbor told my Mum i had been Smoking in the street by his house . My Mum striped me Naked every Night for a week at bedtime and thrashed my bare bottom severely with a thick leather strap until i cried like a big baby . The Bruising never had time to go . My bottom was very sore after the first severe Strapping across my Naked bare bottom . But My Mum was very strict and thrashed me everyNight at bedtime on top of the Bruised sore bottom she gave me the night befor . if mum was in the Mood the Strapping would last an hour long . My bare bottom would be on fire for most of the night as i went to sleep

I was still spanked into puberty. I'm 18 now and just recently left my parents house to attend an honor program at the university I'm going to in the fall. Even though I don't love at home anymore, my dad would probably still bust my butt good if he thought I deserved it.

As a good father should, he must love you very much.

skyyler13 . Punishments have to hurt NaughtyGirl or it not a punishment . your Parents have my Respect NaughtyGirl .

youngsters need teaching that Life is about RULES . Not Chaos . Caring Parents are very strict . Both Love and Discipline is needed in the home . Strict Parenting with Love . Parents in Control Bringing up youngsters to be good Working ADULTS . Without Discipline their is just CHAOS

you are absolutely right. Shall we chat online or voice?

I got spanked with a wooden spoon a few times. You don´t see the welts as you get by a caning, but it´s a deep impact and hurt like hell. I´m glad that I get caned instead.

Thanks for your comment, I am a big supporter of the cane and understood its efficacy when younger. can we chat online here?

Discipline has to hurt or its not a Punishment . i grew up when most Parents were very strict . My Mum Smacked my bare bottom often for missbehaving at home from when i was very young i cried lots . i sometimes tryed not to cry for as long as i could Knowing My Mum would not stop until i was crying . she would smack me harder and faster until her hand hurt as much as my bare bottom did . and if i was at Aunts or Uncles missbehaving My Mum Approved of them smacking my bare bottom hard . as i got older the Punishments were more severe at home and from my extended family . in 1950s into the 1960s Parenting was a lot Different . it was LEGAL for Parents and extended family to Punish their youngsters if and when needed .in Schools the Cane was used across the hand it hurt like hell . 6 of the Best was 3 on each hand . But the worsed thing was having a Note to take home to my Parents saying i was Caned at School . That me another much more severe Punishment from my Mum at home across my bare bottom .

me too

I have used the paddle an the brush an times the belt on my two girls when they were growing up.They were spank till in college if needed it they know the rules an break a rule you get punished for t.My daughters were polite an like by all<br />
<br />
if i had another child i would bring them up the same way CP is the only way to enforced ones bad behavior

I was always good exept once so I was only spanked once

Without Discipline their is Chaos

i Remember some severe Spankings with woodenspoons over the years growing up in the 1950s and 1960s from my Mum and Extended family . one of the Nun.s at the Catholic School i went to used a wooden spoon . i Remember Sister Penny using it on me often extremely hard

I definetely prefer to get the cane rather than the spoon on my bare butt. It leaves stripes, and thats exactly wahat I want to feel, these stripes, afterwards, and then ********** like mad,

The stripes of the cane are indeed beautiful, as I remember myself from younger days and the school cane!

i would enjoy Caning you NaughtyGirl

Spankolina your profile photo Looks Terrific .

i had never had the cane but i have heard about it i never used it on my girls either but from pictures i have seen it looks very nice after

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It needed to remain optiom. I was spanked into my teens and once in my twenties.

my parents spank me the same way. the spoon hurts :(

How often, Sky, and is it bare bottom&gt;?

yeh it is. Sometimes like last week it was 3 times. but then sometimes it is not as much.

My dad has said that we could be spanked as long as it works so IDK how long that is but I still get spanked. I dont like it but I have to live with it.

Yes wooden spoons are great and you should not have stopped. I thinks parents should continue to discipline until the child leaves home :)

you are never too old to get a spanking if it is deserved

i Agree Parents should keep Control in the home . and if Discipline is needed Continue until it is not needed . one is never Big or to old for Punishments if Rules are Disobeyed in the Parents home .

i Agree

My Mum Thrashed me fot Smoking and Drinking at that Age across my bare bottom severely . i never ever smoked again . someone smoking made me think of my sore bruised bottom after i was thrashed by my Mum . i am now Age 63 years young and stil a none smoker . Thanks to my Mum being strict it saved me money not smoking over the years . i was Age 23 when i was Last thrashed by my Mum it was just a week befor i left home to be an ADULT .

i Agree

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My daughter is 23, son 20. The climate in England turned against CP, and the law too (at least for spankings that leave marks). But I agree with you in princple!

i grew up in the 1950s 1960s it was LEGAL back then . i got Spankings by hand straps woodenspoon and my Mum often Caned my bare bottom until i Left home . i was Age23 the Last time my Mum Caned my bare bottom . it was for getting home Late and Drinking in Pubs with friends

i got spanked and caned well into my 20's. strict routine and control when i lived in central africa. firm believers of obedience.

it was Stupid turning against Home Discipline . UnDisciplined youngAdults can not get work . no one would give work to Disruptive young Adults . Strict Parenting works making better ADULTS . Bringing up youngsters without Discipline is not good for the youngsters or the Parents . Without Discipline their is Chaos in the home and on the streets . its not Surprising with UnDisciplined youngsters out of work and on the streets being Disruptive

May I ask how old they are since you are never too old?