Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device


I have a question regarding the disciplining of my 10 year old son. I have been using spanking as the punishment for bigger offences since he was a child. Yesterday I gave him a spanking, the first one he has gotten from me in a while. Afterwards I noticed he had an erection. I was so taken back by this and didn't know how to respond. I don't understand how he could have gotten any enjoyment from the spanking. The spanking I gave was quite hard and he was crying quite hard. I decided not to make any comment about his erection. I know that boys his age are going though a lot of changes with their bodies, but I want to know how I should have handled the situation. Should I ignore it in the future or should I confront him? Should I have given him the spanking over again?
Aprilm32 Aprilm32 31-35, F 139 Responses May 15, 2012

Your Response


It's fine. I always got a erection when my dad spanked me and I hated them. I think that's because I was scared plus the pressure of my penis being over his lap. Nothing sexual.

Why would you spank him for getting an erection. Wouldn't that send the message that erections are wrong? At that age a boy will get hard from any stimulation to that area. I think if you punish him for it you will be setting him up for a weird fetish later in life. Rather if he seems self conscious you might be reassuring that that is NOT part of the punishment or anything to be ashamed of. That it is natural for a boy of his age. But the spanking still stands as what he did to get it was still wrong.

My mother just ignored it. You can read how she disciplined me on my profile page. Spank him harder perhaps?

That's what my mom did to me too just spank me harder !

I think I should probably clarify my comments above. My suggestion about spanking him harder does NOT mean I think you should spank him harder for having an erection. It is a natural physical reaction over which he has no control and certainly isn't something I think you should punish him for or make him feel guilty or ashamed of. The suggestion was prompted merely by the thought that while a light or mild spanking is quite likely to be experienced as tittilating and arousing a proper long hard painful spanking will be experienced as a real authentic painful punishment which will not be pleasurable, even if it is midly arousing at first.

I would not repeat the spanking but be careful if he gets erect every time you spank him. That would suggest he is getting turned on & you should either use other discipline methods or talk to a parenting expert. You do not want to be getting a 10 yr old turned on by spanking from his mother.

Sometimes a guy can't help getting an erection, and often it happens at an inappropriate time. Your son probably doesn't know why he had an erection and probably was pretty embarrassed by it.

I also wonder what you were wearing but you didn't say what he was wearing? Was he completely naked? Do you always make him ***** for a spanking? Hard to tell without the whole story but I think you did the right thing by not commenting. Please add me. I can elaborate on my spankings....

Curious maybe something triggered him. what were you wearing immediately before and during the spanking?

April my mom gave me spankings till I was 15.. as well as my brothers and my sister, we were made to stand in the corner after naked,, the embarrassment added to the punishment, and i usually lost my erection if I got one.

I am not sure spanking ever accomplishes anything. There is a certain point where it just doesn't work. Reward good behavior. Talk with you son. He should always ask himself two questions before he acts out. 1 Is this going to make me happy? 2 Is this going to make my parents happy. If the answer to either question is no don't do it! The lad is going to make mistakes. Show him the error of his ways.

Thats whats wrong with kids now. parents are to busy trying to be the sweet caring best friends of their kids and not a real parent...I know whats in my kids room and monitor what they do pretty closely...I don't have time for the time out approach..

Hey I got it pretty good as a kid. I just figured if it was worth the beating I did it. Believe me I wasn't a friend to my kids and didn't spank them. There were lines they didn't cross. When you don't work you don't get paid. When you don't behave you don't get to do what you want. Nothing like a little house work instead of a movie or TV show. **** my mom made me clean windows. To this fricking day I hate to clean windows.
Dispite what you'll read on this site beating the kid doesn't work. I love that old saying a slap on the *** never hurt me..Really.

totally agree, especially with boys

you should be spanked too!

I was growing up...that is why i have respect for other people..which is hard to find in the US anymore!!!

You should be spanked more now!

Males of any age get uncontrollable erections. Period, as you say in the US.

At that age his penis might have just re acted. If it happens again. Talk to him about it. Get his thoughts

It's a normal response. Spanking on your buttocks makes blood run into that area and beyond. That's why he had an erection.

I always get an erection when getting spanked as well

Why would you spank him again unless you wanted to see if his reaction would be sexual. His response was very normal as is the same with women. Even though there is pain, erotic response is almost expected. Maybe you even got a little wet or your nipples hardened when you think about it.

ignore it for now

ignore it and spanked again if needed he is at that age dont worry. now if he starts acting out causing you to spank him more and more then find something different

it's a sign: stop spanking!!!

i don't think it's an issue and you don't need to talk to him about it, but for the sake of your own understanding of how he could have enjoyed it you may want to consider a couple of factors. i'll put to you two possibilities at extremes of how it could happen. if when you spanked him he was fully dressed and you were also, and if the only contact between you was your hand on the seat of his trousers (plus perhaps such as having hold of the collar of his shirt to prevent him running away or being sent flying by your spanks), the there is every chance he may have been hard because he got a sexual thrill from the spanking, either the pain of it or just the idea of having been a naughty boy. on the other hand if you pulled down his trousers and pants, or he was naked anyway, and if, being as you say in another post that you are often naked around the house, you were naked also, and you put him across your knee to spank him, then since his penis may well have been in contact with your thigh, especially the soft inner part, then the impact from your spanks would have quite likely meant that your thigh was in effect caressing his penis and so that would be understandably the likeliest cause of his erection. obviously there are many variables between these two scenarios but the greater similarity to one or the other situation may be an indication of the probable cause of his penis being erect. as i said i don't think there's any need for concern either way, it's all natural, but analyzing it may help you ascertain what it was about the experience that he enjoyed and got his erection for.

i think it is normal and for you to make an issue of it could cause him to become mental about it... just ignore it and let it go... and spanking him again is not a good thing... i do not believe in spanking unless it is for something very serious...

hello april miss u

Not that uncommon. It happened to us at school when lining up for spankings. We certainly weren't getting turned on by the thought of what was coming!

It's hard for me to belive that a 10 year old get erection when spanked. I have raised a son myself and spanked him too, but never notice any erections before he was 13 - 14 years. Then I just ignored it, and it soon dissapeard when the spankings starts.

i think i would ignore it and spanked again

I do they don't get off that easy..

nbe nice to chat to you

No, never confront him about having an erection, that will make him self conscious and especially around you. And of course you don't punish him for having a natural occurrence of the male body. But don't hide from him either. You need to be as accepting of his changes as you would a daughter. I never spanked my son. Guess I just never had a reason. We stayed too busy for anyone to get in much trouble.

you mean you asked him to ***** down for you to spank him??

This happens to young boys.

yes, ignore his erection, but no, I don't condone spanking or any form of corporal punishment

Having been through that, its better to just ignore it. Boys that age get and erection if the wind blows just right. Its not that he is enjoying it, it could be the embarrassment. As soon as I was told to remove my undies or they were pulled down for a spanking, I had an erection and hoped it was not noticed. I hope that helps. Thanks for writing.

You did the right thing by ignoring it. Its a natural (perhaps involuntary) response to spankings. Even when they really hurt.

I wouldn't confront him about his erection. He is 10 and its natural for a boy to get them. If you confront him you may embarrass him or worse, make him feel he is dirty by getting them. He is at a pivotal stage and the last thing he needs is to be admonished for getting an erection.

completely normal, way I see it is if a grown man (or woman) can get off on being spanked it is normal for some kids to be aroused by it as well

You are right to what you say about spanking adult

It's Normal.

Time to stop spanking. Boys do not need it past 10.

Dear April
I hope only he is still tight and complete circumcised. Soon get the time start of terrible, excessive ************ by him.
I know that really well. Sometimes is spanking hard necessary, but I would prefer other methods more. Par example clothing with uncomfortable pants and so on. Better is a psychological punish who they learn the right behavior.
Regards Elena

It is hard to answer this question without more info.

from this point i would spank with his pants or underwear still on him

Ignore it its perfectly natural and to be expected hormones and nerves

As you said, he is growing up and going through changes. The one you need to think about is spanking. It may not have the desire outcome as you thought.

Beautiful Story. It is hard to keep from happening. I still get them for no special reason !!

I am impressed with the overall quality of answers to this question. Of course you have some guys that want attention, but most of the ansewrs have been thoughtful. The nerve endings in the behind do run through the pelvis and wind up arousing both genders. Most females can ****** while being spanked. Many girls have told me that they often provoked spankings because they were so satisfying. That shocked me,but I am not sure why. Do keep the spankings as part of the discipline for a while longer. I believe spankings should be replaced when puberty takes hold, for both genders.

It happened to me as a young lad, and as it was at school and not bare bottom CP, it was livable with! Happy to advise/discuss privately in a responsible way as a prospanking but sane dad

Best to ignore it. He, and probably you, would be embarrassed.

I bet he loves it when you tell him he is in for a spanking I know I would ! Ma'am'


I have an erection just reading this.

Response #190

oh....i also wish to get spanking session from you

I think thet you are a great mom. I bet he looks forward to those spankings.

I know I would !

Me too. Some boys have all the luck!!

boys can't help it and especially at that age when they are starting to get those random boners.

<p>April, you are his mother and not his friend. You need to discipline your children as needed without abusing them. There are many options available including spankings. I took away their favorite toys, sent them to bed early, grounded them, restricted them from driving, being with their friends, went to school and then came directly home, etc. We are not helpless as parents. Yes, erections do come up all the time when I spanked my boys and at other times seeing me. I think it is no big deal because it is bound to happen when boys see their moms dressed, semi dressed, semi nude or totally nude. I have been there in all situations, like I just described, with my children.</p>

You are right that we have to teach our children and that may at times involve disciplining them. Spankings do not have to be part of that, especially not when there are sexual connotations.

It isn't just young boys. My wife and I have an understanding, that when one of us messes up, it results in a spanking from the other one and is carried out pretty much the same way as when I spanked our daughters... ***** totally naked while listening to the explanation of what is wrong. I spank her bare handed over my knee till her bare butt is very red and she no longer tenses up her butt. If I receive the spanking, i am over the back of an easy chair, and she uses a soft leather strap on my bare butt... she knows how to use it, as it hurts like hell! However, I do get an erection during this, and she knows it will happen. Either way, we wind up in bed *******... clearing the air really makes for intense sex!

No big deal. I have 3 sons, (17, 15 and 14) and they all get erections when spanked.

And they always will. Its something that boys cant avoid.

never talk to him about it, it would embarrass him so bad. and don't spank him more, for being erect. he can't help it and it's not like he wants to do it. wish you the best of luck. I also have a 10 year old boy :)

You are a Good Mom. You have a healthy, considerate way to raise your son.

thank you :)

Babysitting growing up, when I was asked to discipline little boys, they always got erections! I think it's the case that the nerves in the bum are the same ones that go to the penis. I would ignore anything that would tend to make him associate spankings with sexual arousal. Psyches will tell you that's why you shouldn't spank. I'm not sure I agree.

Hi, i think that it is quite normal. If you do some research, you will find that some girls get "excited" when they get spanked too. I dont know why this occurs, but i wouldnt fret over it.

Also when you spank is it only punishment but also enjoyment and pleasure?

add me to talk about it, please.

Hey April, young guys get spontaneous erections, anything can set it off, I remember the thrill of doing something wrong, driving cars and riding motorbikes underage would get me hard, you did right, ignore it, he did not get hard deliberately

oh erection at that age is common , you must discus with him about his erection in penis , and tell it is normal for his age , and asked him hen he getting erection and what time he getting erection ? an d clear him about his erection and comfort him.

personally you will know when to stop , but i would think you being smarter than a 10yr old you could find better ways to discipline ,, no tv for a couple of days ... stay in your room no tv or video games ,,, if he has a phone confiscate that,,, ground him for a few days ,,, no treats ,,, work smarter ,, adults always win in the end

Us men get erections all the time, can be anything from a thought to a slight breeze. It is even worse when we are changing from boys to men. You got to understand just cos we get hard dosnt mean its in a sexual way. So dont worry about it, getting an erection is nothing in a few years you will have more concerns to do with his becoming a man :)

Stop spanking him. Don't do it. It does more harm than good. Surely there are other ways to get your message across.

I have tried....

I disagree. Try something else.

Surely there are other ways than spanking.

I agree, spankings are the best way of getting the attention of your child.

1 More Response

My brother and I got in trouble and we were spanked at the same time. My mom pulled his pants and spanked him with the paddle and when he stood up he had an erection. I pretended not to notice but my mom did and she was mad and spanked him again.

I spank my son over my knee and have noticed the same thing. I guess his penis was touching my leg... it has happened a few times.

I believe it's 'normal' for a young man to get and erection when spanked. It just happens. In the old west one of the main lures for so many (women especially) to go to a 'hanging' was because the person being hanged usually got an erection that was very visible even through his pants.

You might enhance your diciplineary methods by making him be naked (or nude) first then make him stand before you that way during his interrogation as well as after the administering of the spanking. (You probably won't have to smack him as many times either).

Being naked/nude by choice is one thing but, being made to be is quite another. You might even make part of the 'punnishment' to be naked for a period of time like standing in a corner facing out without allowing him to cover himself, etc. When a young man has to stand with his erection and glands exposed (on purpose) it is quite the learning experience.

Don't 'belittle' him for an erection either. Notice it but don't make fun of it or tell him anything negative concerning it being erect. He'll thank you some day for allowing him to be naked and 'hard' in front of a women for the first times of his young adult manhood.

I'm not suggesting you have sex with him or do anything harmful but you are asking for alternatives to the 'spanken' routine you've started?

Let me know what happens?

The first time I got an erection over my moms knee she was furious , and she spanked me again ! this did no good in the end as I always ended up with a hard on when being spanked , she just carried on spanking me in end as if she had not noticed ! When my wife spanked our son he too got an erection when he was older , she would just carry on spanking him as if nothing was wrong , I think that's the best way to carry on !

dont pay any attention to it an keep given him the spankings
may i ask what are you spanking with maybe you need to use somehting else like belt strap

You are never too old to get a spanking from your Mom !

that is true never to old for spanking from mom

just dont spank is not a solution

It worked for my mom , and I still love and respect her for taking the time to spank me !

when i got older an spank by mom i had to thank her or dad for my spankings as i do know wiht m ywife

I had to thank my mom too after she spanked me ! and I have to thank my wife after I have been over her knee just like you !

it i snicce that we have to thank the one that spanks us

1 More Response

I can tell you very confidently that at that age, boys have a fountain of uncontrollable erections which which will spring up at the worst times, no matter how much they don't want them. Anything can trigger them and there were a lot of triggers going on. I hope you do not 'confront' or address him, at least not in any way to make him feel bad about it, it's bad enough to have the spanking and be over mom's knee like that, particularly in nude household! If you are going to continue spanking him, this is something you'll have to learn to accept.

I would feel sure that there is no need for you to confront him, It is most likely just a stimulation of certain nerves or some similar explanation. ( I am sure I would have an erection during and after a spanking from you ! ; )

I would sometimes get an erection when my mom spanked me as a kid. Last time I was almost 13. Afterwards, I went into mu room and ***********. Had a really great ******!

Do not stop spanking him as a punishment. He will get in trouble just for a spanking from you and to see how far you will go on the spanking. It his way of asking for your love as a mom. Give him a spanking that he dose not sit down for a day or two, After you do that tell him you love him.

There is no book on patenting. It's trial and error, if it is consistent and fair. Work on disciplining the mind. Our goal as parents is to teach then to be a positive member of society. If what u do works then its ok. The interesting thing about pain is that as humans we can't remember how much it hurts only that it does.
What I do is express how sad they mad me feel by doing what they have done!
Works sometimes!

i think no,,u shouldnt spank him , and kids dont learn by spanking , they should be told firmly what is good and what is not

Maybe another form of punishment like taking a video game away or no Tv....

I cannot understand why you would feel the need to punish him if he had an erection when his pants were presumably down? Maybe you hit his sweet zone? I can understand being taken aback if it has never happened previously, but he IS coming of age.

He can't control his sexual response to being spanked, so I hope you wont fault him for it. After all, you're a woman before being his Mom, and there he is bare-butt and you're touching him, even tho painfully. Maybe his erection would be a good time to talk about sexual responses and how to deal with them. My question to you is, how did your body react to seeing him erect?

you r his mother and his first object of sexual attraction - being over your knee most probably rubbed his little penis against your leg - boys don't need much stimulation to become erect - he may have been very embarrassed but i agree with Janie - never punish him for his erections - esp because it is natural for a boy to love his mother

Oooops... one more comment. The worst thing you could do is punish him for getting an erection, because he has no control over that. Doing that would cause him perverse psychological associations with sexual arousal. You could talk to him about growing up, if you haven't already. An erection is like a period for girls, just a part of being male growing up.....

Ignore it... it's a normal biological response....

have you disciplined him since posting? was the response similar?

honestly, I do not think spanking is appropriate, especially at that age. Instead, open the lines of communication - sure this a difficult task to do with a teen or pre-teen. Spanking requires far less effort, kind of a knee jerk reaction on your part. If you communicate instead of spank, you and your son may understand each other better and he will certainly get a better understanding of why you are disappointed in his behavior.

as some of the others said, i believe it is unrelated to the spanking. boys get erections at the most embarrassing times (well it always happened that way for me) and it could be from squirming around, clothes rubbing etc...

His erection most like came from squirming around on your lap during his spanking. I don't think it is anything to be too concerned about even though you probably felt a little embarrassed by it. At his age he probably doesn't understand exactly what is going on with his body. If you do have any form of conversation with him about it the conversation needs to be handled in a very tactful manner.

I am a pediatric nurse and I have 2 teen boys. They both frequently are erect as I am lowering their underwear. Or they will become erect during the otk spanking from wriggling during the spanking. Boys have no control of an erection. He is not feeling pleasure from his spanking. Boys will become erect regardless if they are being spanked by a male or female. Your son is probably as confused by his erection during a spanking as you are. I would not ignore it because you should be telling him it is normal he is not a bad boy because he is becoming erect. If you feel spanking works for your son I would continue to spank him. You spank him because you love him and want him to grow up to be a respectful young man.
If you want to talk more send me a message.

I would be concerned as you are. I received the occasional spanking as a child and never remember having a response like that. Perhaps other forms of punishment for awhile will help.

no more spanking...lots of other options...

i am seperated from the mother of my daughter but even though she is 14 i still give her bare bum spankings as her mum allows her to get away with too much and i want her to respect people and authority . i was not spanked as a kid so cannot comment on his erection but do as you see fit

it is normal, and will be part of future discipline sessions if bare as well. It can be used as part of the discipline, but at some point it can be discussed..

My son does the same thing, I think it the rush of adrenaline

The best thing to do is take no notice and keep spanking him , it will soon disappear , mine always did when I was younger !