Almost 5 Year Old's Turn

This morning, my youngest, almost 5, woke up a bit grumpy. I was worried I might have to spank the attitude out of her the way I did her sister the other day. Fortunately, a threat got through to her.

Then, an hour or so later, she wet her pants, and tried to hide it from me. Oh dear. Between the pants wetting (a definite no-no for a girl who has been potty trained for about 2 years) and the hiding it (which is lying, as far as I'm concerned) I felt I had to send a stern message.

I normally spank her with my hand, but lately she's been introduced to the wooden spoon. Today, she got her wet panties taken off, cleaned up, and then the spoon danced on her bottom for what was certainly the hardest spanking I've ever given her. I made sure she understood that, while she would have been in trouble for the wetting, she got in MUCH worse trouble for the lying. After I spanked her, and she calmed down, we hugged and prayed and I told her I loved her, and let her stay in her room to compose herself.

This was her first wetting accident in quite awhile, but it was also one with absolutely no excuse, given that she was at home, and the bathroom was not occupied.
MichelleAnneWaters MichelleAnneWaters
41-45, F
5 Responses Dec 11, 2012

Michelle,

Assuming already it's been determined she has not had issues normally with wetting, which it sounds like she does not, I agree with your decision to spank. It would be one thing if she was in a situation where she could not use the washroom. But as you said, it was unoccupied, and being that she has been toilet trained for a couple of years, there is no reason she shouldn't have gone to the washroom. And that she lied just made it worse.

In regards to using the spoon, I think it was fine. Around 5 is when I began to use the wooden spoon with mine for more serious misbehavior, which I would consider this to be the case with the lying alone.

Finally, I am really glad you sat down and talked with her afterwards, comforted her and let her know how much you love her. I feel that is just as important as the spanking itself, if even more so. Too many parents just spank and don't let their children know they love them, and that's why they spanked them, and that the slate is now clean. Good for you.


Sarah

Sarah, I agree completely on the need for forgiveness and reassuring them they are loved after a spanking. They must be built back up after the spanking.

No, she definitely doesn't have wetting issues or anything similar, nor a medical condition. She wets her pants very rarely, maybe 4 times in all of 2012. When there is a plausible excuse, there is no punishment. But the bathroom was not occupied, she was wide awake, and in the middle of playing with toys. So, she was in trouble. But when she tried to change her clothes to hide it from me, and didn't come clean when I asked her to her face... Well, she went from "going to get about 10-15 hand smacks on the butt" to "hide tanned with the spoon."

I don't really count when I use my hand or the spoon, but it was about a minute of fairly rapid smacks. I'd guess I gave her between 20 and 30. Not as hard as I would spank one of the older girls, but hard enough to make her feel like her butt was on fire.

It certainly did at that.

1 More Response

i think using a spoon ay her age is a bit much a hand spanking would have been better the spoon should come later at may be 6 to 7 i have 4 kids and its just my thoughts how you bring up your kids should be up to you good luck

Right. I mostly use my hand with her, but lying (and, to me, a lie of omission is still lying) is one of a few things that I feel call for a more serious punishment, which, for her, means the wooden spoon.

i am sure you only hit as hard as needed and she got the message which is what its all about

you said it yourself it was an accident... so why punish a child for an accident? it's not like she'd do it on purpose... plus even a few years after it can happen... there are even health reasons why it could happen. but the most comone is just forgeting everything around them...

Is it possible that her wetting was accidental? If so, it seems cruel to me to spank her. It could also explain why she tried to hide it, knowing she would be in trouble. However, if she intentionally wet herself (refusing to stop what she was doing to go to the bathroom), then that and trying to hide her intentional mischief may have been grounds for a spanking. Regardless, I hope mostly dry unspanked times are ahead for her.

I think you did the right thing dealing with these kind of issues as soon as possible stops further problems that can arise later on. I know this only too well from experience with my own daughter. Much of it is laziness and the trying to hide the accident only makes it worse as she found out with the sore bottom you gave her. Maybe some toilet training and supervison is needed here, check her underwear on a regular basis and react if they are messy or stained more than normal. If not dealt with it can just get worse later on in life.