No One Cares

Once upon a time there was a girl. She didn't want to live anymore, but she couldn't kill herself because all the people who would mourn over her lifeless corpse would be people who only pretended to care until she was no longer useful.
When she was born she thought, "what a beautiful thing life is." Soon after she discovered hunger and loneliness. Her mother was never home to feed her, and her dad was the same. Both of her parents were addicts of the worse kind. They were selfish pleasure seeking addicts. A sister had been born to the girl, a year and a half after she had been born. The girl's mother loved her sister. The mother would disappear sometimes, and once when the girl was about five, the mother took her sister with her. The girl was home alone for a week when her father returned home. She finally cried, and told her father of what happened.All he told her was to go to her room, and he started crying. She did as she was told and cried by herself, missing her sister. She was lonely and unloved. Her mom never came home, but her sister was brought back. She promised to take care of the sister that everyone loved and cared about. She loved her sister, and never wanted her to feel as the girl had felt. The sister never knew about what the parents were doing when they left. The girl was like a mother to her beloved sister. The girl was soon burdened with other sibling all with different dads. She made sure they were all taken care of.
One day a social worker came to the girls house with the police, and they took all of her siblings except her beloved sister. A piece of her disappeared. She didn't know what to do. Soon after, her and her sister were also taken by the government. They were brought to a new family that she knew little of. The new family liked the girl's sister so they decided to keep both of the girls, and the check that came with them. Nothing changed for the girl. When something went wrong in the family, it was always her fault, and she never knew such a thing as friend ship.
She eventually graduated high school, with acceptance into the college of her choice. She was happy because she could make her life better. Then a miracle happened. She got a boyfriend. She loved him as much as she could, and she thought that he loved her also. He loved other girls though. She wanted to keep him, but ended up pushing him away. He took with him, her heart. She was broken before she met him, and now she was nothing.
Like a leaf torn from the branches, she fell in a direction she could not control. College, a home, food all were but dreams to her now. Her new family stopped receiving a check, so they sent her on her way. Her soul was dying. Her sister hardly talked to her anymore. She was alone.
She had a friend who took her in. The girl was so content that she gave everything short of her life to this "friend." Soon they became best friends. The girl knew so much about people, and about her friend. Even so, she was blind to the vices of her best friend who only cared bout herself. The best friend was number one, selfish, and ever demanding, but the girl stayed because this was her new home.
She started to cut herself every day because she felt nothing close to love from others, or from herself. How could she love herself when her parents didn't even love her? She was certain that the only people who would cry for her were people who had hurt her. They were scared to be hated in the afterlife, and would want to be forgiven. She could not give them that. She would stay alive so that they could never have the right to mourn her.
She is lost! She is unloved, unwanted and alone. She can only become a ghost, and for some miraculous reason she hasn't yet. She is afraid of the ghost that haunts her every night. Her life haunts her. She has no where to go, she is perpetually stuck in grief. It can't continue like this. I hate myself, and yet I can't free myself from this ever growing hate.
organicruby organicruby
18-21, F
Sep 19, 2012