Unessary And Outdated Ideology.

I am 25 years young and unmarried, single even.

I would first like to state, i am not against marriage. I believe that it can be a beautiful thing. However, it is currently not for me, and may never be for me.
Society has come a long way from its original mores about  what is a proper life to live. It has changed in many nations with their sovereignty's's development. In many industrialized countries, it is no longer that only men can work, live a way from their families, or earn a hefty income. Women, in the coming eras have gained many freedoms, privileges, and rights.  We have a lot more power to make decisions about how we wish to live, lead, and plan our lives.

I do not think it is an outdated notion to desire to make a legal, spiritual commitment to your spouse in the case of marriage. I believe, Legal privileges aside marriage is a very ( mostly) religious/societal institution.

I am an American; and for me, in my country, I am free to be independent. My family does not have the right to "marry me off" nor do they have the NEED to, because as  woman, in my society, i CAN provide for myself.

However, older generations of women, still hold the notion that i must find a man/husband, to be a complete woman. I must be in a relationship or i am lacking in life experiences; or a richness in companionship.
THAT kind of thinking, i believe, is outdated.
For women who desire that, it is not an outdated sentiment. However for those of us who do not desire such a life/lifestyle, it's a useless mentality.
There are "successful" women who are not fulfilled unless they have a spouse. Nothing is wrong with that. I DO believe that humans are social creatures; and being that I am a Christian, i also believe that God made Woman for a Man, etc.  Adam was lonely so God made him a companion. In that respect seeking companionship is innate and natural.

However, for many women who choose not to marry, it is not the act itself that is bother some; but some of the responsibilities, drama, and expectations that come with a marriage.

The way that society pressures women to become wives, they  also pressure them to become mothers.

Usually, those who feel a woman should be married in order to become complete, also have other rules of "traditional lifestyle" etiquette to be met.

            The woman must submit to her husband in all ( or at least most things), especially her body and her will.

            The woman must put aside her Academics and Career... to prepare herself for motherhood. 

If she does not comply, she is selfish, damaged, or just an embarrassment "to all women everywhere", or just family/society in general.

However, this not the case with men, although there are a different set of pressures that come along for him.

If a man chooses not to marry he is "avoiding a trap", or just... nonchalantly, being a Man.  They avoid commitment and responsibility... *shrugs* its just what men do... its acceptable. He can wait till he is 50 to marry. Unlike women, generally speaking his ability to produce offspring does not expire, and thus neither does his worth.

A man is not expected to give up all of the hard work he has expended part of his Youth/Life on, during his Academic/Corporate Climb, to be a househusband/ house dad. In fact if he DOES, then HE, is seen as less of a man.

In this day and age, marriage is not a necessity that will make one ( or two) productive to the community or society as a whole. We are no longer small tribes of people, where we need to marry and pop out as many babies as possible to strengthen our numbers.

Though there are many successful educated women who choose not to marry, they still find ways to contribute to their society. IT it need not even be the case of parenthood as there are many single parents around, who raise healthy well adjusted children.

Society needs not stick to ideas/ideal that a woman marries, just because that's what she is supposed to do.
People should be free to marry out of a statement of communion with each other, Their beliefs/desires, and THEN, if they choose, for their families and society.

We shouldn't judge people by their marital status or desires, but more the content of their character and actions.

MissVenom MissVenom
22-25, F
2 Responses Jul 9, 2011

In Scandinavian cultures, this isn't the case and it's refreshing how forward thinking their culture is in comparison to American culture!

Subconsciously you've come to realize we are here, on Earth, for far more than just raise children.