Please, Ignorant Women of Society, Stop Making Me Feel Bad For Not Being Married!
I think my first brush with this topic came when I took a Psychology of Women class in my undergrad. I had a fabulous teacher who really knew her stuff and was able to wonderfully express all the pressures society, American in particular, puts on women. Firstly, the marriage issue...
When I decided to start this group, I was feeling quite angry about the pressure that is put on me personally, to get married. I feel that ever since I can remember, having a relationship is not only a must, but crucial to be accepted by society, especially as a woman. I remember when I was in 4th grade, several of my classmates were having fake weddings on the schoolyard and how, even then, I was annoyed by how superficial it all seemed. I remember thinking to myself, most likely subconciously, "Uh, they're not going to be together in 10 years, let alone by next period!"
I had always felt when I was younger that no guys liked me in school (I'm a straight 24 year-old female), and in many ways, I felt very unworthy of any type of romantic love. When I got older and when I was in college, I was always skeptical of advances guys made towards me, because I guess I have ingrained in my head that relationships don't typically last, especially in the random hook-up way, which I completely and totally abhor. However, in college and now in graduate school, I still feel like in many ways that I am ostracized because I "turn my nose up at" people who are clearly and blatantly, at least to me, in stupid, superficial relationships, just to be in a relationship-and that clearly aren't going to last. I hate that I'm somehow supposed to respect people like that. Because I don't.
Anyways, I think the main thought I had when creating this group was about a high school "friend" of mine who is constantly trying to track me down on the social networking sites I use. I am not really crazy about her, I wasn't even in high school, but she keeps posting these OBNOXIOUS status updates, like, every 2 seconds talking about how much she loves her husband, how happy and in love she is, but if I remember her correctly, she was quite phony and annoying. I have jokingly renamed her the National Marriage Authority President (NMAP for short) because that's exactly what she's doing: shoving her opinions of marriage on all of her friends, whether they be people she knows well or not at all, because she has clearly fallen victim to that societal pressure to get married. Just because I'm not married does NOT mean I don't have my life together. In fact, a lot of her status updates seem to be indicating she's fighting quite a bit with her husband, yet I'm supposed to bow down to her? Puh-lease.
I think what also made me mad about her tracking me down is the fact that she's trying to grasp onto as many people she can possibly get her hands so that she can show-off to everyone what an "accomplishment" she's made. Mind you, she is unemployed-her husband is the only one that works, so she just constantly complains about how bored she is. While here I am, working my *** off at grad school, barely struggling to pay my bills, and she's, in many ways, taking her life situation for granted. It drives me absolutely crazy!