Most Times, Limp Handshakes Are Wayyy Preferable To The Too Tough Ones That Insecure Blowhards Like To Pass Out!t!!

I couldn't decide if I wanted to put this here or in another group but  figured it would give another side to the weak handshake issues!!

Last week 2 guys made an appointment to interview for martial arts classes.  One was a smaller sized guy on the thin side.  He had the really limp handshake and a sweaty palm.  The other one was a way bigger man who was muscular but was also carrying a LOT of excess baggage that wasn't muscle.  He grabbed onto hubs hand like he wanted to break his arm, you could see the yutz's knuckles go white with how hard he squeezed....

Hubs is FLAWLESS with this sort of moron.  He immediately released the mans hand and looked him in the eye and asked him, very quietly... if he was aware that doing that  made others view him as insecure and  perpetually guilty of "trying too hard" to be  something he was NOT...  The guy was struck  totally dumbfounded..and  quibbled and quacked for a few seconds then went straight into stuttering and blustering....Hubs stayed  silent the whole time and just let the fool flounder.   Then when Mr. I have a mean handshake, got done with being embarrassed and acting like a TOTAL  dunce.  Hubs asked him why he wanted to take martial arts.  The guy...who was still a little red faced... said he wanted to get better at kicking ***.....
*see eye roll*

Hubs  quietly told him  the school had no openings for  teaching him.  Our school isn't about some blowhard making a bigger *** of himself.... These types are more of a liability to a reputable school. They are so full of themselves they NEVER get the moves right and they usually end up hurting themselves. Plus this guy needed to lose a good 50 lbs before anyone would even consider letting him in a class.  MA classes are about serious folks making a commitment to training and self control. Hubs said it way more professionally then that but it meant the same thing. No matter how you fancy it up with good English...Dismissing a dumbass always amounts to the same thing!!  The guy got pissed but he left and never said a single word, out of line to hubs.....These big mouthed, blow hards always fold up like a card table!! 

The little guy stayed tho and sure enough..he went thru a flawless interview and got signed up. He said the other guy was a neighbor who insisted he needed to be with the little guy when he took classes cause other wise the men would  be too hard on him...

Wanna hear the best part...The little guy knows Mr. See how Strong I am...is A total mess and HE feels sorry for him.  He lets the  man go on with his bullshit and yes's him just because the little guy feels sort of sorry for him.  Now the little guy had a weak shake and a damp palm cause he was a little nervous signing up for classes...because he mistakenly brought the ******* along!!! He had hopes the man wouldn't jump right in, being such a  moron... Needless to say...he learned a valuable lesson!

Let me tell ya......This guy will be AWESOME in his classes cause he has an understated wisdom and a lot of self restraint and compassion to be able to deal with his neighbor... the *******....in a friendly way......See....a weak handshake isn't any sort of an indicator in what sort of man you're dealing with......
sierra33 sierra33
31-35, F
26 Responses May 17, 2012

I like the some where in the middle handshakes.Too limp.either You dont really want to shake my hand, lack self confidence,or worse,just not a friendly person.Too strong a grip is almost always a silent challenge.I've found that locking Your eyes with theirs almost always loosens their grip.

YESSS! My hubs, K is always big on giving a direct gaze... eye to eye with some folks. It totally works too! Eye contact says a lot more then words sometimes!!

I could always tell when my daughters were lieing to Me cause they couldnt look at Me! Just like their Daddy!

I am the worlds suckiest liar... My parents could both tell in like 2 seconds...I think I turned colors or something cause they were both on it in a heartbeat... :O I think I always looked at the floor...so maybe that was it...

k you are a disagreeable mo fo most of the time but your honest and you love that girl. makes you ok in my book.

roflmao!! this cracked me right up!!

you go cc!

aww thanks.... hugs.

looking 4.....aww thanks rough guy!! You got a few ROCKIN talent too! Refocusin a thread might not be one of them BUTTTTT where you ROCK.... you really, TOTALLY ROCK like a mountain!! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ I gave you my 5-Heart rating!! They rank wayyyyy higher then stars!! :D

Sie--<br />
My--most--humble apologies for the error of my ways.<br />
Yes indeed--you did refocus this thread--<br />
rather nicely.<br />
Bravo! ;-)<br />
This happens to be a talent of yours.<br />
One that I utterly enjoy--

looking4, SHAME ON YOU!! Comin onto MYYYY thread and telling a big ole, bare-faced lie!! :D I'm crackin myself right up here but seeeeee....I TOTALLY turned this thread around to grins & giggles!! :D

Sie--<br />
Bravo--my love.<br />
On your highly--seamless--transition from--<br />
socially inept greetings--<br />
and those who boast of using them--<br />
accidentally-- <br />
To your latest composition on--<br />
Navel ornamentation.<br />
How utterly delightful!<br />
How wise you are to--not--allow others to subtract from your enjoyment of this site!<br />
Bravo--once more--my love! ;-)

myaah, I just read a letter from a shared buddy of ours and he said he pretty much caught you up with this last night... :( I'm a little bummed about it. My whole thread got derailed... bummer.... :( <br />
<br />
This site means a lot of different thing to different folks. I love it when I can roam around and really talk to folks and say things that mean something to me and hopefully to them sometimes. I like to be goofy and naughty too, cause it's fun. During the day, if something wacky comes up I like that I can come in here and share thoughts about it. Thoughts, I can't share with the folks who might be right around me. Cause having a business means you have to be professional... no matter how much ya love a client ...ya still have to mind your manners and always be professional.....So I like to wander on in here and vent sometimes. That's ALL this story was too...A minor rant about a person in my rt....<br />
<br />
I never checked to see who else wrote what, in the group!. If I did that... I'd NEVER write anything!! A million folks could write stories I would really hate or strongly disagree with but I would never bug them about it on their threads,cause while I have a right to think my way they have the exact same right to be who they are and think thoughts wayyy different from me too...<br />
<br />
.It bugs me that folks get so caught up in their own heads they forget to stay in their own stories and leave others to theirs. But......this is the internet and if its taught me nothing else...it has, for sure, taught me that not everybody respects others rights. I refuse to let them ruin my fun in here tho. I will keep deleting and ignoring as much as possible cause to carry on with every rotten comment left on my stories by cowardly folks who hide behind new accounts and blue faces would take up a BIG chunk of my time and I'm just not gonna let them have it. <br />
<br />
Once in awhile, like on this thread...I say what I have to say to a person but then it needs to be dropped and everyone needs to focus on what they're here for. I'm not gonna become some mean, hateful person just because some folks on the internet are....Nope...not going there!! :D <br />
<br />
I did get a BIG kick out of you calling hubs the "pushy mofo I'm hitched too!" That'll keep me gigglin for the rest of the day!! Thanks! <br />
<br />
Thanks for sharing what you think too. I do appreciate it but this crap has to end here and folks need to get back to being naughty and happy and having some FUN!! ♥

dont a girl miss a lot when she works 2 jobs? i made it all the way down this and while im no college grad i can put some peaces together on what happened. i would like some details though just to back up what im thinking. <br />
<br />
Something got that pushy mo-fo your hitched too all fired up and i think i know who did this. see, yesterday I conveniently got an apology from him for his being a jag off on my confession. i see he is being all sorry in here. this dude isn't sorry for what he pulled.hes sorry he got caught and brought out on it. Suck it dude we all got your number now.<br />
cc, you need to call more of these worthless scumbags out for what they say on your stories. i have seen so many do it to you and when i ask where they went you say you ignore and delete them. that aint working so well for you cause there like a pack of rabid dogs and once they think they can get away with **** they pull more. <br />
good on you cc for stickin by K and what he says. You got yourself a good man who know what he wants to say and goes about saying it in a way aint nobody going to wonder where hes coming from. <br />
as far as the ***** that run around acting like they think they might be tough. None of them are, its all talk. real men dont need to pull this ****. they live it and trip up the ***** who try and fake it.<br />
now, quick, email me all the dirt!

myaah--I am not--pushy--
I am merely--verbally assertive.
Might I take a moment to commend you on your own--verbal assertions.
I quite agree with them--

myaah...he's like TOTALLY lyin right now!! He TOTALLY pushed MEEE yesterday!! Then he even held me where he pushed me..The BRUTE! He was tinkering on our wonky water sprinkler and asked me to watch and see if it was working. Being the good girl I am i stood right there and waited for it to come on and when it did he snuck up behind me and PUSHED me into that COLD spray and held me there till I was soaked like a lil drowned rat!! He did this to be funny cause while we always run around our back yard all nakey out front, I had on my jeans and a lil shorty t-shirt with no bra and once that water hit my poor lil nipples turned into steel bullets....He is a BEAST sometimes and never let him try to convince you otherwise!!

Sie--I did push you. I stand corrected--My only defense is that I believed your nipples were in dire need of some--fitness. I do what I can to ensure your--complete--body health. ;-)

Awwwwww THANKS SOOOOO MUCH on behalf of my nipples!! :D You crack me right up sometimes!! I swearrrr!

you 2 need to go get a room!

2 More Responses

looking4, While we have wayyyy different ways of handling things....I TOTALLY agree with every freakin word you just said. There will never come a time on ep or anywhere else where I don't wade on in and stand tall and proud right smack beside you.... YOU will always be my "bar" set... for what I think an AWESOME man is and stands for!!<br />
<br />
I do have to admit that I did sorta *giggle* at your saying he needed to grip his own ways without wincing.......That was sorta PRICELESS and Yeah.....it's good enough to be repeated that folks who don't wanna get called out on another person's thread for being an asshat....needs to NOT be an asshat on another persons thread....<br />
<br />
If a person doesn't lie or exaggerate and get caught in it...they never have to worry......<br />
<br />
Lesson to be learned here is....Don't tell big ole bloated tales in YOUR stories and then drag your issues into someone elses...TOTALLY UNRELATED STORY and try to claim it was all a BIG accident..... Makes ya look bad....Some folks just aren't all that interested in playing "ep-pattycake" with the back tracking and denials...We're ALL just HUMAN.......if somebody is dumb enough to throw out a rampage on someone elses story....Then they gotta expect that person might be tempted to rampage a little...right back. We are ALL just human....That isn't any "elite" club for just the ones who screw up a lot....

Thank you--my love.
You are correct--
Being--Human--
in--not--an excuse.

Sie--<br />
Bravo--my love.<br />
Once more--you gave us all a very rare glimpse--<br />
at a side of you--<br />
that while still being polite and fair minded--<br />
clearly demonstrates--what a powerhouse you can be! <br />
Thank you--for so generously sharing with me--all--comments and exchanged missives regarding yesterdays--incident.<br />
<br />
Thanks--<br />
are also in order--<br />
for all those individuals who shared their many thoughts with me via messages.<br />
Always enjoyed and deeply appreciated.<br />
I must agree with others that while--awkward--<br />
This situation did indeed capitalize on the original thoughts within your story.<br />
That being--Windbags love to bluster--<br />
but then easily fold when offered insights on their foolishly placed exaggerations and fictions.<br />
Windbags always seem highly skilled--<br />
in disclosing who and what they are.<br />
<br />
Once more Sie--your honesty and candor were decisively--on point--<br />
Your highly astute capabilities of both--<br />
firm reasoning and unquestionable logic--<br />
held firm sway in your maintaining a very fair-minded and reasonable stand in this.<br />
You have my greatest admiration for this.<br />
<br />
Your story was clearly an accounting of an event well away from EP.<br />
It--in no way--offered anything but an accounting of one person in your work day.<br />
That it--hit a nerve--with an EP poster is most unfortunate--for them.<br />
It cast him in the light of being a highly dishonest and rather troublesome individual.<br />
Who cornered himself--<br />
needlessly--<br />
On your thread--<br />
with his own words.<br />
While he certainly put in an effort to recant those words--<br />
in private messages to you.<br />
It must be noted that--<br />
One is either being honest when they post--<br />
or spouting fictions.<br />
To claim--accidents--where only moments before--<br />
it was clearly stated that those same--accidents--were called<br />
--rituals--<br />
is laughable!<br />
I actually had to read those messages twice to fully realize he expected to be believed--<br />
<br />
I understand that an apology was given.<br />
I applaud you acceptance of it.<br />
I myself--<br />
Quite frankly--<br />
see it as a rather--limp--attempt at<br />
damage control--<br />
Perhaps--he needs to grasp his own posting techniques--<br />
with a--firm grip--<br />
trying not to--wince--<br />
and try to avoid making these same blunders in the future. ;-)<br />
I can only add--<br />
I am very pleased he is removed from your own circle.<br />
Even though--that came about for a very different reason.<br />
<br />
When we cannot believe the words stated.<br />
There is no longer a need for them. <br />
<br />
For those of you who might wish to chastise me for my own open candor--<br />
Save your efforts.<br />
I hold no pity for ******** who so obviously **** up and then try to crawl back in my wife's good graces. <br />
Or save face with other individuals who might fall for their posturing blather. <br />
If one does not enjoy being confronted as an utter ******* they should avoid the actions that lead others to hold that opinion of them.

Awwwww, just awwww......I TOTALLY want to thank all you guys for the AWESOME messages that found their way to my inbox yesterday afternoon and last night. <br />
<br />
You guys and thoughts like that are what keep me on ep and enjoying all the special moments I get to share with you. You'll never know how TOTALLY meaningful your thoughts are to me. Words alone just can't tell how you make my heart feel.....♥<br />
<br />
I really didn't intend for this story to cause any sort of "issue" I just wanted to "rant" for a few seconds about the chest thumpin, hand crusher who showed up at our real time business.... I was enjoying the feed back.... But ep is always good to throw up a surprise here and there too. It did and I am happy to say it is all resolved.<br />
<br />
Once I decide I am just not compatible with a person I stop reading what they say. it just makes sense to me. If someone has a different opinion as me. I TOTALLY accept that! That is just the way people are and I think it ROCKS!! I don't judge folks as good or bad. Who the heck am I to make that sort of judgment? ll I can do is make choices that work for me and I do..... I try to follow this idea.....<br />
<br />
Say what you mean. Mean what you say and try NOT to say it mean..... It works pretty good for me most of the time too!!<br />
<br />
I do like to hop all over and be happy...... It wouldn't be any fun for me to hop all over and be mean or angry about stuff. I don't do that in real time!! <br />
<br />
BUT.....when someone brings their own issues onto my threads I got no problem with dealing with it as honestly and directly as possible. I never play games or pretend to do well with people who I don't do well with...... I got no time or patience for being all fake. You'll never hear me label myself as shy, introverted or fearful of meeting any situation head on either. Cause I'm not. I am a happy-go-lucky lil camper...right up until somebody crosses my line and then I can switch right into, "handle it gear" I haven't lived with rough guy for all these years and not picked up a few good pointers in just how to do that too. You never see me play the "smooze game" of being all over the top, cozy with somebody and then ripping them up the back for ha-ha's . If I say I like a person...I mean it. If I change my mind, I move along....as quietly as possible. No harm, no foul.... I totally dislike all the dramatic bullshit that floats around here sometimes and I get away from it as quick as I can.<br />
<br />
I'd rather have 5 buddies I honestly enjoy then a 1000 folks I don't know, could care less about or dislike, just to have a big number. You'll never see me go out looking for trouble on anyone elses threads. They have every bit as much right to be who ever they are... as I have a right to be me. That's just fair..... But I am..who I am...and I like who I am. <br />
<br />
Reading all your thoughts this morning reminded me for the 1000th time why I care soooooo much for all of you.....It's cause YOUUU ROCK!! ♥ ♥ ♥<br />
You're also ver real and honest on a very consistent basis.... and I TOTALLY appreciate that too!! Boy.....do I EVAH!! <br />
<br />
hugs and hugs and MORE BIGGER SQUISHIER HUGS!! ♥

Thank you Penn.

Sierra, my post from earlier was poorly worded and came across as an invasion of your story. I posted an apology, but when I realized how much it bothered you, I deleted my reply, which took the apology with it.<br />
<br />
I assure you, no ill will was intended with my response. I wish you well.

It takes a strong man to appologize. Kudos!

sciguy, YUP!! That seems to be the overwhelming opinion I've gotten from this thread!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on it!! :)

A firm handshake that is released after a few seconds is one thing. A crushing handshake that seemingly never ends reeks of insecurity and overcompensation...

Just for the record and those of you asking. Penn has apologized to me and has voluntarily removed his comment.

Awww hugs and hugs lil yellow birdie!! ♥

Thanks for this story Sierra!

CWS.....I think he wanted to "appear" to be a lot more then what he was. Epic fail on that level! ....He ran off with his mouth closed and his blow hard, tail stuffed right between his legs. He was smart enough to know that he just needed to STFU and go! That was all hubs wanted anyway!! :D

Aww Ari, it doesn't surprise me in the least that you offer a PERFECT shake for the best possible reasons....Genuinely AWESOME guys always do!! ♥ :)

looking4, I read this and was reminded, one more time of why I love, respect and admire you sooooo darn much..... You're wayy honest with folks but you also see past the emotional pissy-ness of the moment when dealing with them....STANDING OVATION on that score rough guy!! <br />
<br />
I thought for sure you were gonna say something about how grumpy I was about this......and you did but it was wayyyy sweeter then what I figured you'd say!! <br />
<br />
I have always gotten miffed at folks who pretend to be all hot **** when in fact they are the EXACT OPPOSITE!! They are the only ones who don't realize it tho! That sucks....but the only way they can sometimes get a clue, is if somebody is kind enough to let them know they are being both transparent and wayyy ignorant about how others see them. I gotta give the hubster a big ole KUDOS for being nice enough, to this jerk to try and clue him in on how folks see his pathetic behavior!!<br />
He did it in a really, "soft spoken" and firm but still thoughtful way too.<br />
<br />
I would have been more tempted to laugh right in the mans fat, red face and tell him to take a hike!! This is why it's good for hubs take the lead in situations like this!! There are times when it's best if I go all subby and just let him do his thing!! :D I do nothing but learn from this man!! <br />
<br />
I know I am still being sort of mean about this but every time I think back on it I get aggravated all over again..... Of all the icky qualities you can find in people..this is one of the WORST... Chest thumping, bragging, fakes always turn me right off....

A weaker grip can merely be indicative of--social anxiety--<br />
That condition can be greatly improved through instruction in the arts--<br />
or time spent in a gym.<br />
I pay no heed to the various grips.<br />
Unless they are dysfunctional and obviously overt. <br />
as was the case with this man.<br />
I do not run a mental health institute.<br />
I have no desire to waste mine--<br />
or my staffs time with those who so clearly need psychiatric adjustments.<br />
A distorted ego and fictional posturing--of this nature--<br />
is disruptive to classes and pose a decided threat to the one--posturing.<br />
This individual was red faced and perspiring when he left.<br />
He had clearly over taxed himself--<br />
with--only--a handshake and his dysfunction.<br />
To allow him to continue this futile behavior--<br />
in a class setting--<br />
could lead him to serious injury or other health risks.<br />
In short--the man is a far greater threat to himself.<br />
This behavior produces vast levels of stress in those who display it.<br />
Sharing my honest thoughts--<br />
quietly and calmly--<br />
could have been the most beneficial response--<br />
he has received in a very long time.<br />
Most individuals--tolerate--this behavior<br />
then seek to avoid--the person.<br />
They then--use it as fodder for their own entertainment--<br />
at a later time--<br />
when recounting the incident to others.<br />
I had enough respect for the man--<br />
to offer him my truth.<br />
He will do with it whatever he chooses to.<br />
This is of no concern to me.<br />
If he condemns myself or my business--<br />
It will only serve to heighten others opinion of our integrity.<br />
Some individuals best serve others in this fashion.<br />
There will always be individuals who live inside their own fictions--<br />
Let not--my business practices reside beside them.<br />
<br />
It is clearly obvious that this man and his actions rest--<br />
as a decided--pet peeve--<br />
for my wife.<br />
I find many are offended or at least embarrassed by these--<br />
obtuse shows and those who display them.<br />
It seems--no one wears--bloated-self-fictions--well.<br />
<br />
Sie--<br />
Thank you.<br />
I enjoyed reading this piece--<br />
Your disdain for the--obtuse--individual is clear--<br />
and rather fitting.<br />
I did find your evaluative thoughts--<br />
regarding the other gentleman to be utterly--on point!<br />
Bravo--my love!

WO...Now there's a plan!! :D

I'm not sure I agree. It's not like we have a man-class in high school to teach us how to shake hands, and I would consider it rude if someone who didn't know me immediately felt the need to comment on my handshake. In this case it seemed your husband was correct but I've met friendly, gregarious men who had a tendency to grip too hard, and I've met total asshats with too much self confidence that had limp handshakes. There's also a cultural aspect. Cultures that don't typically shake hands in greeting vary how hard or soft their grip is.<br />
<br />
I will say that, consistent with my membership in the group, I don't like limp handshakes, but I try not to make judgments ba<x>sed on the handshake.

iRant, Thanks for commenting. Common sense is the best teacher in situations like this. Martial arts requires folks with the ability to "think" beyond themselves. Commenting, straight off, when the person deliberately does a "white knuckle squeeze" is at least an honest way to let them know how their poor behavior is interpreted. There is a big difference between a "little too hard" and someone trying to have a, hand holding ******* contest. You have to be "on point" and direct when you're taking people in to train them in things like martial arts. The wrong person with the wrong attitude, doing the class for the wrong reasons can make classes that others payed good money for a mess. There was no "cultural" aspect to be considered here. The MA guys are all very aware of cultural difference simply because MA does take in so much diversity in that area. Over half of our advanced folks, *already black belts going for higher degrees or those involved in competitions and exhibitions* are from other cultures NO culture does a "white knuckle grip" from the beginning. Again, it's a long distance between energetic and naturally firm to "idiotic"

I consider it--rude--when another individual--intentionally--grips my hand with enough force to cause discomfort. My reaction was no less then simply informing him his behavior was unacceptable. Far better to respect the man--as a man--and confront him with my sincere opinion then to pander to his obvious ignorance on how his interactions effect how others view him. Quite frequently--silence--is considerably less respectful then offering a word of truth.

Sie--Common sense--indeed--is a requirement for anyone engaging in instruction within any--combative forms. Sadly--it simply is not found in some individuals.
Offering classes to distorted or dysfunctional egos could easily equate to offering driving lessons for the blind. The one taking the class becomes a danger to themselves and others.

AWESOME point looking4.....When a person is a big enough... RUDE CLOD to try and hurt someone they gotta expect a little rudeness in return!! I thought what YOU did was wayyy more polite then I would have managed with that oaf!!

loking4, good point again....Blind folks can't drive and morons shouldn't be encouraged...

2 More Responses

Just for the record a nicely firm and dry grip is the best and all secure men know just how to do it "right" so it generates confidence in others and not make them laugh at him behind his back.... :D