I Just Don't Like Their Personalities - And It's Not A Teenage Thing

I have been working and living abroad for many years and so did not spend a lot of time around my family. My life continued on a separate path from them. Recently I had a break between jobs and decided to spend more time getting to know them. I got to know them and I really really dislike them. I am not a teenager by far - I am decades older so this is not a teenage rant. I just really dislike them, and often I think that I am lucky I lived abroad most of the time otherwise I might have "caught" their bad personalities if I had been in close contact with them the whole time. I think they are small minded, weird, petty and generally unintelligent. They are the kind of people I would not choose to be near given the option. I think I am just going to try and forget all about them. They have the worst personalities ever! I was horrified that people like them were in my family. When I am around them I act very nice to them and since they require a lot of sucking up to and ego massage otherwise they go into tantrums, I make sure I throw them a compliment every few minutes - of course there are never return compliments but I actually don't need those I am old enough to know my own strengths and weaknesses, anyway you have to keep peppering them with compliments or they start losing their stupid little tempers over all sorts of insignificant things, so I tell them it's so wonderful they are doing this and so wonderful they are doing that when I am really just holding my breath for the moment when they will say they have to get home now it's getting late.

Regarding their stupid little tempers: some of the things they flip out about include if you have a different opinion even a slightly different one - not telling them they are wrong but expressing another opinion, I learned quickly not to do that - and you also have to watch that you don't accidentally express an opinion that is different from theirs - for example if they had not expressed their opinion yet, and you say something different from what they were thinking, they flip out, even if occasionally you might think you are just expressing something logical or factual, it's still not safe, and if they say something do not correct them unless it's an issue that requires calling an ambulance on the spot, God forbid you tell them 1+1 is usually 2 if they were thinking otherwise. I've learned how to keep the peace and nod at their words. I usually stick to compliments until they have expressed their views and if I agree I say "That makes so much sense!", "You're totally right on that", if I think something different, I keep quiet about my views and compliment them about something else. Oh and while you are complimenting them, it helps if you can also put yourself down a little at the same time like "Wow, you are so amazing, I wish I could do that but I just don't have that ability" that kind of thing elicits a smile. I plan on moving again soon and I think I will distance myself completely, I'll be nice when they call, ask what they are doing and then compliment them on whatever it is as usual, but I won't call them and I won't call them back if I miss their calls. I haven't decided what to do about Christmas, I would like to avoid that, but this time I won't be far enough for the cost of the air-ticket to be a good excuse. Right now I still don't have a family of my own, but when I have my own family I'll be glad to have an excuse not to see them at Christmas. I am sure they are not bad or evil people, I just really really dislike their personalities. The chemistry is so not good.

chocolatebar chocolatebar
36-40, F
1 Response Mar 2, 2010

I know this was written almost 5 years ago, but I'm in the exact situation. Thanks so much for sharing. Even if it was written a while ago.