You Are 'trying' My Patience When You Tell Me You Will 'try'

there are few things in this world that bother me so much and that i will actually admit to ... but this ... this one makes my blood boil ...


i friggin' despise the word, 'try'! when someone tells me they are going to 'try' to do something i immediately realize they just lied to me. history has proven to me, at least, that when someone says, "i will try to ..." that they will NOT make any attempt whatsoever and in this actionless moment they are merely conscious of that which they are not following through on.


listen, people, ... sh!t or get off the pot! DO OR DO NOT! but for crying outloud, people, stop 'trying' ...


put in an effort, make an attempt, give it a go, etc. etc. etc. but don't tell me you are going to 'try'.


:-| *grumble grumble*

AbbyNormal AbbyNormal
31-35, F
8 Responses May 25, 2007


I'm imagining a situation where a husband says to his wife, "Baby, I am going to TRY to not be unfaithful to you." And the wife, waving a skillet, says, "And if you are, I will TRY not to flatten your head."

i must admit ... since my accident i've been much the same as you are - ESPECIALLY when it applies to social situations. i usually tell people, "we'll have to see what tomorrow brings but i'd sure love to join ya!" i say this knowing i don't want to go even though i know i'd enjoy it even if slightly. i say this knowing i need to socialize myself more (not that i need to be how i once was but i seem to be completely anti-social minus the web now days.) so ... i can't gripe too much about non committal types in regard to social obligations - i'm VERY guilty of this myself post accident. the things that get me most are scenarios of which i wrote about in 'more tidbits' or some story titled similarly. wherein my mother has been telling me for 7 weeks now that she'd 'try' to get the lawn mowed (she rents one of my homes) and in those 7 weeks the lawn is now up to my waist! you can't tell me in 7 weeks there wasn't ONE day she could have complete this task!!! that's the kinda stuff that sticks in my craw!!! lol

I understand now Constant, I am guilty of the easy get-away 'try'. I have been guilty of claiming a try when I know full well the odds are that I will not exert much effort except to feel guilty for my false claim. There is no excuse for that; it’s an attempt to avoid explaining why I do not want to do the task, in this case usually social gatherings. It’s easier to say I’ll try, then apologise later (knowing they had a better time without me then they would have with). But a few months ago I decided I wouldn’t do that anymore, but by that point my workmates figured out that I am not a ‘night on the town drinking’ kinda guy, so they do not invite me anymore. Telemarketers are bubbly talkative active people; I am a reserved introverted dude that values time alone and clams up in large gatherings. I’m a watcher, most people are doers…I say ‘I’ll try’ to avoid the doer asking ‘why not’. So I understand how it could annoy you, no doubt as my uncommitted answers to invites annoyed my workmates when I first started here.

i am not speaking of major or complicated things ... of course, with anything of consequence (the larger stuff in life) giving our best is all we can do. we can only afford to 'try' ... what i mean is things like, "will you let the dog out while you're right there, please?" ... "oh ... umm ... i'll try." or "will you be able to meet with me for coffee at 2 tomorrow since you're off work and have no other appointments?" "well i suppose i could try to do that." these are the things that get me. it just makes me think to myself, "ahh come on already ... are you able to or not?!?!? please don't leave me dangling here." perhaps this pet peeve was born from dating a non-committal type. everything was, "kinda" , "sorta" , "maybe" and/or "might" but there was no definite anything with him. these were his keywords and if you heard one come from his mouth you KNEW it wasn't happening. much like yourself, bro, i don't want to over-committ myself into something that i may not be able to complete. i hate failure especially when i'm doing whatever it is for someone else. in that situation i do tend to be a bit vague about what i will, can or cannot do. something easy tho ... like opening the door and letting the dog out, putting the laundry in the drier, doing the dishes in the sink ... for me these are "do or do not, there is no 'try'" ... hope that clears it up.

I do not like to lie, sometimes I do not come through with promises, in which case I will say with all honesty that I will try or do my best…I will only say this if I suspect that the task will not be as clear-cut or easy as presumed, just saves me from lying after the fact ‘I said I would, but then I had to call so and so………..and I didn’t’ I would rather say “Ill do my best’ and that way make allowances for my easily sidetracked nature and some-times forgetfulness. That’s the only way I can be honest, I do forget sometimes, I tend to think about the bigger picture rather then focus on the smaller details, and so I get lost in my thoughts…Just being honest, when I say I’ll try, it means I will try-but no promises, you want it done to your standards, you do it yourself.<br />
Would you rather I said ‘I’ll do it” and then not? It’s not a matter of yes or no; it’s a matter of unforseen obstacles… If I’m certain that Ill do what you’re asking, I will say ‘sure’.

Totally with you on this one. If you're going to disappoint me, do it now, not later. The "I'll try..." bit is for people too timid to say, clearly and directly, "I won't..." They try my patience.