To Really Feel Alone...

To really feel alone is to wake up in the morning and roll over to just feel the empty spot beside you..  The spot is often cold and the pillow is empty..  After years of sleeping with someone and being able to touch them and then suddenly nothing, it is hard.  I am fine with being single but I find going to bed and waking up to be the hardest..  I love being able to roll over and cuddle someone and to wake up to a face smiling at you in the morning..  That I find very comforting..l

CaliGirl3 CaliGirl3
36-40, F
43 Responses Mar 8, 2009

Hmmm.. I'm hopin yer right Tp... At least soon I won't have too... ((hugs)) xxx

LOL kwall... it was nice.

I can, but I better not. At least not on here.

im sorry, not sure hun only you can answer that ....honestly.

JEM, why is it that I don't find this show in the least bit entertaining?

Mmmmm..... Feels amazing... Lets head fall back..

christian cowboy i believe there is a show playing in here at the moment..... here you can share my popcorn if you like but you have to provide the soda lol

Okay, I guess I'm invisible now.<br />
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Reaches round and grabs yer *** and pulls you closer...

"I am holding out for that special someone to hold me.. :)"<br />
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"It is the perfect someone for me that I hold out for.."<br />
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wait let me get my popcorn ok im good now resume the show lol

Cali tackles.... JT.... Sweet...

lmaoooo now thats a cartoon image i can picture omg tigress that was hilarious

Ha.... That works girly... We'll leave the makin of the bed till later... xx

Lol.... I have no doubt of that.. ;) So when you come you bring two, then we'll have four... xxx

Girly.. never have to ask me twice... ;) Got two sets of sheets... xxx

Kitten.. Damn the cat... lol.. Where's the love..? lol<br />
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Tg...Honey.. I am sure my friends will not mind movin over for ya... xx<br />
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Enticeme... I love makin you laugh.. Makes me giggle when I write the silly comments.. Thanks for all of the kind words...

that is the many impressions you have given me by just reading about you and our interactions together you are right there in plain view for this entire are a very strong minded lady who believes in the impossible ......that is me my history shows ive believed in those who most people feel didnt deserve it simply because they cared to care about life and showed me they were worth my time. <br />
<br /> just gave me another cartoon vision about you turning into a big ball of mush are worth every word and you are loved in many levels by everyone on here that just happens to cross your path :)

Problem with my cat is, he like to wake me up during the night with a claw to the face.

Exactly.. I got smart though and decided to let my dog and cat sleep with me... :) Now the spot aint cold no more... lol

Not that my ex was ever very cuddly, but I know how you feel. After almost 9 years of having a warm body next to me in bed, it's hard to be in bed with that cold, empty spot.

Jeesh what ya tryin to do to me...? lol Turn me into a big ball of mush? jk... :)<br />
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I do indeed try to see the bright side of things.. I refuse to be down for the count or to give into self pity. There is no point in it. I may fall to my knees at times, as we all do, but I try to pick myself back up..<br />
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I like the fact that you have read my stories.. I try to remain as true to point as possible. The fact that you get so much from them is amazing to me, for I love sharing them. Whether the story is based on something sad or funny I would love the reader to get a sense of me from them... (((hugs))) thanks so much

you too have a way with expressing your words to all on here someone can truely get to know you easily just br reading about you and they will be guaranteed to just feel your life spirit and playful have the ability to make lemonade out of lemons thrown at you as ive read. some crumble under pressure but you try to find the light at the end of the tunnell and anohter story i just read that caught my attention was when you said that you were sitting alone trouble with heart and the atmostphere around you made you realize your troubles werent so big....most cant see life that way........and i made a comment on another story that stated that im only willing to be sweet and caring and give credit where i feel its deserved and there are only maybe 6 people on here whos way of thinking and sparky personality makes me respect them enough to extend my effort just happen to be one of those amazing people.

caligirl...I'm laying here in bed 1.15am with my kitty at my feet. I long for strong arms to hold me again.

CA.... It's workin.... :) ((hugs))

Enticeme..Your words astonish me.. But you are right on the money.. I am most definitely not a follower.. I choose my own path and do not wallow in the lonliness that I feel.. It is the perfect someone for me that I hold out for.. As far as the comments this morning.. I am repeatedly blown away.. I have warmth in my heart and a smile on my face.. :)<br />
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xxxx JT.... Come here baby..... xx

awww thank you but you are the reason you get those words from everone, all by yourself hun......and you are right its not just about having someone to hold you or wake up with its about the feeling that special person of your choice,gives you within your heart and soul that aches with love just by their presence near you. you are a leader not a follower you seem not to settle for less that what truely brings you happiness. im the same way i get hit on all the time but its that certain type of man (( my man only lol)) and any lady who just gives me those feelings just with basic interaction. what good does it do to give your love to someone who doesnt deserve it or cant give you the same feelings back ?? our love is precious ....and should be only given to the ones who make us want to share it just by being naturally desired exactly for who they are.

Wow... You continue to astonish me.. I have been left speechless more than once this morning... Your words are extremely endearing and are gladly accepted.. I too will read your stories.. Yes I do sleep alone, but at this point I choose too.. I am holding out for that special someone to hold me.. :)

caligirl,<br />
i havent reallly known you yet but ive read alot about you and from what ive seen<br />
you are a very adorable and beautiful lady with a very unselfish caring and spiritual personality. i can honestly say that we all have been in your position i myself have been with both a man and woman for the last 4 years ((2 different gfs during this time)) and yes waking up to a warm feeling of someone being there is nice. i know you have many who adore you that would love the chance to wake up with you in their arms. your stories and comments are wonderful to read its nice to read. i look forward to more in the future. in the meantime.....keep smiling everyone loves you

Robyn.. Tonight is the first time I have learned much about you.. I would love to continue this conversation.. xx

Omg... I am so sorry... ((((tight hugs)))) I saw my mother get beat also and some times had to run intervention cuz of my sibs... I know how the story goes... xxx

Robyn.. I cannot even begin to imagine, 20yrs.. I am sorry.. xoxox I know what it a lonely feeling it is.. I choose to be alone.. I have a few who would keep me company, but I choose to keep them at bay.. I am positive when she comes the strangeness will be most welcomed..

Cowboy... Come a callin.... xx

Awe... That's sweet lol.. I will take the t-shirt, cologne, and teddy bear... Pirate... You are very very right.. He would be more than happy to do it for me... ((xoxox))

dedre... Thank you for sharing that... **hugs**<br />
Stupid woman...<br />
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Thanks msdivine... Hey the upside is that my dog and cat are reeping the benefits.. They get to sleep with me now... lol<br />
<br /> Yep.. he slept with me last night.. I loved it and the look of adoration I got this morning was great.. ((hugs))<br />
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gentlystirred...((hugs)) I remember those nights when I was stoked to have the bed to myself and was stoked. Now I look back and am just like damn... It's amazing what little things we take for granted..<br />
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AA.... I am am very sorryy.. Yes I'd rather be alone than be in a relationship and be lonely... ((hugs))

My husband and I have separate bedrooms so I go to sleep and wake up alone - it started out that he just snored too loud for me to sleep well, but now, I know it is more than that. I often wake-up wrapped around a king size pillow in the bed - like I was dreaming of cuddling - sometimes that can make me very blue. I'm married and sleep alone - I'm married and lonely! I think I'd rather be single - at least you know how to please the person you live with and you have a chance to get used to yourself for company.<br />
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And MitchandMaureen - is that quote from Herman Melville's Moby ****?

I know how you feel. I am sorry you have to experience that. What is funny is I remember when I was in a long term relationship, those occasions that I would get the whole bed to myself and would be delighted. But if it is a permanent situation it really sucks.

I know how you feel. I am sorry you have to experience that. What is funny is I remember when I was in a long term relationship, those occasions that I would get the whole bed to myself and would be delighted. But if it is a permanent situation it really sucks.

You get used to it after a while!

Yea, though I've never had a relationship last into the "years" category (best record was 14 months, and I knew from day 4 it wouldn't last but didn't have the balls to say it); I know what you mean.<br />
It's hard to believe me and a chick only started getting intimate a year ago...then four months later she shipped off to be with her sailor-man, tears a strewn and sobbing to say goodbye to me...then she visit in thanksgiving...and now, maybe she'll visit next month...<br />
*shakes head* Sorry, kinda emotional tonight, I just got the news she MIGHT visit.<br />
Anywho, yea, me and her, it was barely a year, and barely 5 months of it spent together, but I still wake up in the middle of the night thinking instinctively "**** I need to shift, but I don't wanna wake her....oh wait....right....she's not here" *sniffle*

That's because you deserve nothing but the best...and that's what only I can offer you...

Cowboy you have always offered nothing but the best.. xoxox To be held is wonderful... :)

How would you like to wake up next to me? You could cuddle up to me, and I would hold you forever...