Dissociation Is Nice But Very Frustrating In Social SituationsMy dissociative abilities stem back from severe childhood abuse, abuse taken in many forms and I'm aware that it is a learned coping mechanism. In fact, I feel like I'm lightly dissociated 24/7 these days. I don't have DID or alters who appear during heavier dissociations, medical professionals diagnosed me with Social Anxiety and Avoidant Personality.
I find that as I get older I am dissociating more and more heavily and it is really hindering my social abilities and it's frustrating the hell out of me as people wonder why I seemingly just shut down and appear vacant and unable to hold conversation. It's getting to the point that I'm starting to avoid many social situations because people think I'm being arrogant and rude when I all of a sudden become vacant and appear uninterested or cannot respond properly to questions etc. My deeper dissociations happen whenever I'm feeling stressed, pressured to talk or have had enough of a conversation/person/situation or when I'm feeling threatened and/or challenged.
I don't mind being dissociated when I'm alone as dissociation feels pleasant in that situation, but I need to be 'all there' in social situations and as much as I try to explain to some people what is actually happening to me when the 'veil' descends over my consciousness, most don't seem to understand it and think that I'm just strange and wilfully ignorant. I wish people would take initiative and research this phenomenon to gain understanding and realise that it is not deliberate...but most don't.
How to fix this?!
Mercvry 31-35, M 6 Responses 3 May 13, 2012