In a Divorce

Hi,

I live in Oregon and have been here for 4 yrs.  (I am from FL)  Moved here with my husband of 10 yrs. He has ALWAYS been a Control Freak and wants everything HIS WAY! He was "nice" UNTIL the Day we MARRIED.  Ever since then-it has been like I own you.  (His first wife of 20 yrs divorced him for being a "Control Freak")  I should have talked to her, FIRST.  He has no kids but I have 4 grown kids from a previous marrage of 15 yrs.  (He was a "Saint" compared to this husband!) He knows that I am all alone, here.  My kids won't come around because they hate him.  My Parents are not well OR rich!  The other night, he slapped me, and twisted my arm.  (I had to get X-Rays for my arm.)  The judge gave me a restaining order but he has closed all Bank Accounts, stopped my Med. Ins., etc.  (He is hiding somewhere)  He is on dis-ability for "Diabetes" and "CLAIMS" he has Dementia!  (His latest MD said it is more like "Bi-Polar".  Which his Father had when he passed.  The Physical abuse has gone on for about 4 yrs-off and on.  Mental-almost the whole time.  He makes me stay in a bedsroom, lets 8 pets freely roam the house.  Has TOTALLY ISOLATED ME and has refused to let me have ANYTHING in MY NAME or even JOINTLY.  He recently got a family trust fund of quite a bit of money.  That is when I found that he had been going behind my back and telling his Attorney that I "was crazy".  My BIGGEST PROBLEM out here is that NO-ONE will HELP me -even LEGALLY!  They are not even "deferring the $300 fees now, to file for a Divorce"!  Can ANYONE HELP??  I am at my wits end and hopeless.

WynterRoses01 WynterRoses01
46-50, F
4 Responses Feb 10, 2009

Call a counselor. Mental health is usually the organization that deals with this. They will set up a shelter for you. Also, you will need their advice. There are many like you. When you meet them, they will help you, too. Good luck.<br />
Call the pol;ice if you cannot get through to others.

I wish I had some good advice for you, but I'm not very knowlegable when it comes to lawyers, laws and such. I would take the advice of marriedbutlonely, and get to a shelter. I was in an abusive relationship which was REALLY bad for about 2 years. I am lucky to be alive today, so I understand what you are going through. This man needs help and love will NEVER cure it. The only way the two of you ever would have a chance at a relationship is only if he got some help and even then there is no guarantee it would fix him. If you can, try to reach out to anyone you can. People at a shelter may be able to help you with your questions if you cannot afford a lawyer. I will be thinking of you. STAY STRONG and stay away from this man as much as you can. The time most likely for extreme violence that could lead to murder is when the abused tries to leave. It is a very critical time, please be very careful. And if he messes with you or even threatens you, make sure you call the police. The documentation of your calls for help alone can back you up in court. Good luck and please call your local shelter! YOU WILL GET THRU THIS

Damn it, my heart breaks for you, if I was closer you sure as hell could have a place to stay. Surely there is a shelter for abused women where you are, for hell sake please check and see GOOD LUCK

Damn it, my heart breaks for you, if I was closer you sure as hell could have a place to stay. Surely there is a shelter for abused women where you are, for hell sake please check and see GOOD LUCK