An Ambien Letter -- Written From An Ambien User

I received this letter from a lovely friend of mine, whacked out on Ambien, one evening. It's very worth sharing. The author's name is blanked out for obvious reasons. Aside from this, contents are "as is" -- by the way, the author is normally quite a grammarian, which makes this even more comical.


"I'm up, stoned out my tree with the snackies. I had two matzo boards with spicy feta dip I made. Matzo is like eating elmers glue spread out thin into a vague cracker shape and dried. It is single most constipating food in the world. I recommend it for loose bowel treatment. Yea.
I also ate an overripe pear. I always put them to ripen in brown bag and forget about theM! What a schmuck I am about the pear abandonment.

Then! I got a email saying that I'm probably going to need to move out before my place is done. So, I'll have all my stuff in a truck expemsively overnight then stay I a hotel eighth dog! I'm worried anbpout what is going to happen and how much it will coat. You know this broad isn't going to do me any favors, right?. You know why this strong medicine isn't making me coma.

I'm so stressed out I want to quit my job and go live in a commune or something. Me and the dog, on the road. Taken the show on the road, man. In a Prius. With a blow drier. I could start up a business. Maketh something like beaded flowers or homemade taffy with really cute wrappers.

I can see why stupid teens take this drug and drink tom stay up. It seems like quite the nice buzz...which I recreated on Sunday and had a great day, ok, going before say something silly silly your __________"
ElricAnatine ElricAnatine
May 30, 2013