It Depends...i Guess

Some one here said something to in the way of: if you are not suicidal, or have those feelings sometimes, then you would obviously not feel this way.

I do not think it is totally selfish. Yes, some people may hurt, some may be mad. But, the families and friends only feel that way when the person is gone. When that person is alive, he/she is alone and no one cares. They tell you to get over it, or toss about some random cliche'.  People even have the audacity to tell remind you of things and times you wish you could get back. As if that helps matters. For the most part friends and family only show selfishness when you are alive and struggling with something. When you go though, they say they did everything they could etc etc. Knowing that they did not.

For me: I think about it often times. Losing a lot and reflecting on some aggredious errors in life will get you some suicidal thoughts. Another side affect happens to be losing yourself in the mess made. I can no longer be the person I was, the person they loved, the person they hated. I can't. Because of that, I can't make them happy, nor myself. Fortunate I have been to surround myself with strond mind/hearted people, and if that day comes where they have to be told I am gone...they will be okay.  Will they be mad, sad, miss me? I hope so. I did not leave to find out, I left because I could not be that man for them anymore.

Not selfish, just something that people do now and then to get rid of the pain...

EricS EricS
36-40, M
2 Responses Sep 27, 2008

Was that selfish for me? I dont think so

Lets hope that those friends both new and old can show you just how important you are to them now and forever. The heart of a person struggling with these thoughts may very well not be selfish, but what a loss for me if you were not here......believe it or not Eric:-)