My Mother and I

As a young child, all I understood was that alcohol was a bad word. I didn't know why and, frankly, I never thought to ask. As I became more aware of my surroundings I began to realize that it had something to do with my mother. You see my mother is an alcoholic. When my siblings and I were young we had to deal with alot of selfishness and verbal abuse from our mother. It was particularly trying for my older sisters who dealt with the brunt of the abuse why simultaneously shielding my brother and me from it. Without the strong support from my father and our grandparents and wonder how any of us would fare now. I love my mother dearly and I recognize the struggle she goes through trying to fight this terrible disease. She is very strong but also very weak in that she does not have the self-confidence or the self-love to maintain true in her desire to stay sober. I have watched her try and fail so many times and each time, when it seems like it could not get any worse, she picks herself up and tries again. As of today she has been sober for almost nine months and I fervently hope that this time the right ideas will click in her head and her sobriety will be permanent. The relationship between my mom and I is still strained. I grew up without her even noticing and she missed the time to truly be mother more than a friend. Eventually I believe that we will be able to have the kind of relationship that mothers and daughters should have, but I know that takes time. Time that I am most willing to give if she as well puts in the effort. I love my mother and it is because of what I've seen my mother go through that I am prompted to make the decision to not drink. Knowing that alcoholism is linked to genetics I just do not want to risk the possibility that I too may be an alcoholic.
shysheila513 shysheila513
18-21, F
Aug 10, 2007