Pushing It All Away.

I push everyone so far away and it's like no matter how hard I try I can't stop. Maybe I'm afraid to get stabbed in the back, it's happened enough. I don't have anyone anymore. I use to be this way, but I found friends. School made that possible seeing people every single day. Now that I'm out and on my own working with people ten years older than me it's difficult to make new friends or hangout with anyone, their all busy with their own lives. I need motivation to work out and get the heck out of here into the military. I want to be in the USAF but I want a challenge like the USMarines.
Ugh. First I need to lose 1/2 inch somewhere to fit the BMI category.
Everyone wants the adult world like its something spectacular  It's really nothing special until you're finally out of college doing a job you love. Until then it feels like hardship after hardship. And on top of it practically EVERYONE my age (18) is having kids and getting married. I'm doing the right thing by waiting right? Sometimes it feels like I'm not with everyone around me already in a family. It's crazy, but I'm not ready to settle down and take care of a kid. I want to just have fun.
ugh. It's like no one else knows what it means to have a kid early. I've got nothing against people that have kids and get married young. I give them props actually, because I'm not ready for it.
xxForgottenandFoundxx xxForgottenandFoundxx
18-21, F
Jan 21, 2013