Not Fitting In?

I can hardly even imagine what fitting in would feel like. As long as I can remember, I've always been the odd one, not totally excluded but always off to one side and never accepted ... at best tolerated. The first real circle of what I thought were friends, were as it turned out, completely indifferent to me, forgetting periodically to include/invite me, forgetting my invitations and suggestions, and generally ensuring I knew I was just - barely - on the edge of the group. And these were the people who treated me -least- repugnantly in teenage years.

It took me 30 or so years to realise, I will never fit in, and once I accepted that, I found a woman who doesn't fit either, and made our own little fortress against the world.
firefall firefall
51-55, M
8 Responses Oct 15, 2011

Well, it is good that you ended up with your present wife :)

I totally get it. I've never really felt like I fit in with anyone. All of my friends were there for a year, maybe 2, and then ditched me for whatever the next best thing was and I would just stop hearing from them all together. They made no effort to stay in touch in any way, and never responded or were always "busy". And these were people I told myself I'd be friends with forever, or at least for a long time, cuz we seemed to fit so well together and really connect. Turns out, most of them, as with your friends, just tolerated me. Sometimes it sucks to be on the outside, but I'd rather be appreciated for who I am than try to change just to "fit in" and be "normal".

It is comforting to know that you have had a happy ending.

Fitting in is over-rated. being unique is much more interesting.

Hope so, it's way too late to change now ;)

This is a really sad but lovely story. It's horrible to feel that you don't fit in, but incredibly beautiful that you have found someone who is your soulmate. I hope you have many happy years together and it must feel great to finally fit in together =)<br />
<br />
Does fitting in bother you much anymore? I'm only 22 and feel exactly the same as you. Is there much hope for me to get over it?

It was a problem for me til my early 30s, &amp; caused a divorce from my 1st wife. But at 34 I met my current wife, &amp; we've been together 19 years now, so .. yes there's definitely hope for you.

How excellent! I have had countless similar experiences. Not sure why I keep going back for more. Fodder, perhaps.My partner has enough quirkiness to appreciate me and have a good time too.

Me too feel the same.. and i hope that i can do something to feel belong to this world.

I feel the same